Will you please critique this poem I just wrote?

Question

This abyss of existence blurred by mist

Creates feelings of longing and frustration

Deepness surrounded in hatred waiting in haste

I feared it would surface, I fear it is starving

Hope derived by less than this

Is wasted on drugs and loneliness

A life cut short will simply prove

An example to those who wish to move

Why drive on? What's the hurry?

Has that mist for you become blurry?

*I just made it up, it needs more work obviously*

Answer 1

Ooh, very nice. =]

Answer 2

Very thoughfull, makes you think that life should not be take for granted and that we shouldn't throw away our remainding years or even minutes on this earth with meaning less stuff such as drugs or anger...very nice but also a bit dark