Will you please tell me something funny?

Question

I just need a pick me up these days-- ***sigh. Thanks.

Answer 1

If you love something, set it free.

If it doesn't return, it's probably out in the forest humping a tree.

Okay, so a bunch of friends and I were all talking.  So Maggie says that in the Speedway condom aisles, there were extra-extra large and extra-extra small and tropical breeze scented and blueberry pie flavored.  So then Jake starts shaking and air-humping like he was doing it and he was like "Ah, blueberry pie!"  It was hilarious!

Look up Aqua Teen Hunger Force Hand Banana on the internet, it's hilarious.  But bad.  But hilarious.

Answer 2

Every day is an adventure ... This past weekend for one.

We got the van back to the rental place in one piece.

We didn't get a ticket for hitting the toll booth.

The tree and the ivy are still alive.

The dog didn't eat the guinea pig while we were driving home.

We got grandpa's (HEAVY) roll top desk as far as mom's front porch.

And we took plenty of advil the minute we walked in our door.

Whew!

Answer 3

watch a potter puppet pals video n youtube.

http://answers.yahoo.com/question/index;...

Answer 4

Your mama is so stupid she asked what kind of jeans I was wearing, and I said "Guess" and she said "Levi?"

Answer 5

we went to this really fine dining restaurant and the vegetables ( potato's and carrot's) were carved in the shape of penises!

Answer 6

The Scottie Dog Who Knew Karate

There once was a young couple who lived in a town filled with crime. After three neighbors' houses had been robbed, the couple decided to get a guard dog.

So one day the wife went to the pet store and said, “I need a good guard dog.”

And the clerk replied, “Sorry, we're all sold out. All we have left is this little Scottie dog. But he knows karate.”

The wife didn't believe him so he said to the dog, "Karate that chair.”

The dog went up to the chair and broke it into pieces, then he said to the dog, “Karate that table.” The dog went up to the table and broke it in half.

So the wife bought the dog and took it home to her husband who was expecting a big guard dog. But then she told her husband that it knew karate, and he said “Karate my ***!”  

Answer 7

hm.........................................

Answer 8

i will tell u summin hilarious ....

UR FACE hahahahahahaha

Answer 9

they tried to tan an albino guy on BB yesterday!...didnt work though

Answer 10

i fly with the fishes and swim with the seagulls my world IS diffrent dont judge

Answer 11

watch khichdi!

Answer 12

flubber blubber.  

Answer 13

don't be so depressed...my friend told me this one...

           "Colonel Sanders said: I'm too drunk to chase the chicken."                

Answer 14

I spent ages yesterday cleaning my newly decorated bathroom only to be woken up this morning by my 3 year old son who had, being a big boy taken himself to the toilet unfortunately he did`nt make it in time and messed himself. not wanting to wake anyone he then proceeded to clean it up and got it absolutely everywhere. The best part of the story is he blocked the loo with all the toilet roll he used cleaning Not funny at the time but we took pictures and that will be one h**l of an embarrassing story to tell a future girlfriend.  

Answer 15

Its not funny but can help you.  

A song from Sesame Street that In a direct gentle manner tells young and old to sing and be happy.

                                SING

         Sing sing a song  

         Sing out loud

         Sing out strong  

         Sing of good things not bad

         Sing of happy not sad

         Make it simple to last your whole life long

         Don’t worry that its not good enough for any

         one but you

         Just sing, sing a song.    

Answer 16

Confucius say: Baseball wrong, man with 4 balls can't walk