Will you teach your daughter that when engaging in sexual activity.....?

Question

it is just as much HER responsibility to have a condom in her bag as it is HIS responsibility? It would solve that problem of,

"oh, I didn't bring one, but I love you so much (eye roll) we don't need one anyway...."

We will have a condom bowl in the bathroom that will be for ANYONE to take from, my kids can even take them and give them to their friends.

If not, why?

Answer 1

Condom Bowl... what is this the junior prostitute's allowance?

Are you also going to give her access to free booze, so at least she can obtain it legally?

I think your intentions are good but that your just going to encourage reckless behaviour on your daughter's part with that kind of idea; PREVENTION is the best solution for STD's and pregnancies...

Don't treat your daughter like a walking time-bomb, instead sit her down and have a frank discussion about s*x and her feelings towards it and whether she thinks she's ready to have s*x during her teenage years, don't just simply take the half-assed approach so you can say "I tried...".

Answer 2

yes, i will. and i will also talk to her about every aspect, of course, and encourage her to wait.

the condom bowl is a great idea, btw...

when i was a kid, i had no access to condoms, but had s*x anyway. i was SOOO lucky that i didn't end up getting pregnant or an std... i also wasn't talked to about it at all (except for being told not to do it. period)... i think that talking to your kids about it is most important, of course, but if they're going to do it, they're going to do it. may as well help them to be as safe as possible!!

Answer 3

My kids are 2 and 4 so its hard to think about vvhat i'd do since they still have a long time. But I probably vvould make sure that she is being safe and responsible if she is having s*x. Once my kids get to a certain age like 13 or 14 i'm taking them to get on birth control! Not the pill because vve all knovv you cant expect a 14 yr old to keep taking the pill so i'd probably get something like the IUD for her or something. lol

Answer 4

i wouldnt do that. leaving condoms around simply tells ur kids they can have s*x wherever and whenever they like. aside from moral issues and all that (which is really a personal thing), aren't you the least bit worried about STD?

you cannot ignore the fact that condoms DO NOT prevent STD's. why would you want your kids to be vulnerable to it?

as a parent....why?

Answer 5

Yes!! i think promoting safe s*x is vital- not only does it prevent unplanned pregnancy but STD's as well. Your kids will be well informed and safe! And great point about encouraging your daughter to take responsibility!

I am a teacher and I can't believe how narrow minded parents can be- so many children come in to s*x ed classes thinking that kissing can get you pregnant and that condoms only prevent babies. This is because parents don't talk about it, don't promote safe s*x and are not open about the issue!

I wish there was more parents like you out there- I applaud your realistic and thoughtful decision and think its a brilliant idea to support your children this way!

Answer 6

That's a great idea! I'm glad your so open.

Answer 7

I think it's not a bad idea. Maybe not right out in the open for guests to see, but in a drawer?

I also plan to keep an emergency *morning after pill,* in our bathroom for our daughters. Although, I discourage s*x during the teen years, I will not be naive. My daughters are going on Birth control when they start their periods to regulate their monthlies- but I will stress over and over how that does not protect 100% or even against ANY STD's.

We're open in this house.

Answer 8

that is something that i keep on the back of the stool at the bar i own in the mens room!!! are you going to be serving them beer too

Answer 9

I think this is a good idea. I provided condoms to my boys (ages 19, 16 & 13). They share a bathroom so I put them in their medicine cabnet ... Just in case.

I am not living in a fatasy world and if they decide to have s*x, they need to not only protect themselves but thier partners.

Answer 10

i like ur idea but like how old is she?

Answer 11

Its a good idea, but it just seems so unheard of.

I probably would have them in a easily accessible place that everyone knows where they are, just not on the bathroom bench.

Maybe in a laundry cupboard?

Good luck!

Dont count them every week! haha

Answer 12

I think that's a pretty good idea.

Except - I don't think your kids giving them out to friends may be a good idea... If their parents found out and didn't agree, that could cause some major arguments! :)

Answer 13

I'm with you on that! Their going to have s*x one day that life so why not help them protect themselves? Nothing wrong with that

Answer 14

Um, I'm going to be a big dork and just caution that maybe you shouldn't keep the bowl in the bathroom.  Heat from the shower breaking down the latex and such.  

If I ever do have a daughter, I think the most important thing to teach her is respect for herself, and that she does not HAVE to have s*x if she does not want to.  Hopefully, I want to impart that s*x should be saved for a loving committed relationship.  

Now, saying that, and knowing what I know, we will teach her about safer s*x and the importance of taking responsibility for birth control (because you cannot count on anyone else to).  I do want her to have the knowledge, I just want to make sure that she has the support and confidence to not be pressured into doing something she doesn't want to do.  

Hope that made sense, I'm a bit tired this morning!

Answer 15

I think that's an excellent idea! Cheers to you for being a mother who actually talks to her children about this!

I'm a fifteen year old and I lucked out having the most open minded, most wonderful - I'll just say it, I have the best mom on the planet. When she and I had the s*x talk she made sure to be very informative with the types of STD's, how do you get them, how you can prevent them, how they effect your body. How being pregnant (and at a young age) affects your life.

She also explained to me all the types of birth control and if possible she actually brought some to give me a better idea. She taught me how effective they are, how they are used, what they are supposed to do to prevent any STD's or any pregnancies, etc.

I thank her for that because a lot of my friends have parents who just avoid the situation and say, "Don't have s*x until you're married."

My mother and I personally believe in s*x before marriage. But again, that's just our opinion.

I'm still a virgin, but then again I'm more worried on how and when will I get my book published, how to get better as a flutist, how can I pursuade my mom to let me get two ferrets (adorable!), etc.

However if I decide to have s*x I know that the condoms are in the bathroom cupboard - but I found those on my own when I was younger and I read the whole box I'm telling you right now, I just sat down on the ground in the bathroom floor reading about these mysterious condoms and then I actually ripped one open to see what they looked like. Haha. My mom laughed so much about that.

And my mother says if I ever decide to become sexually active she will put me on birth control - which we have thought about but that's to help these annoying periods (which I have right now and the advil I took doesn't do c**p!).

My point is my mother gave me enough information about s*x so that if I decide to I will use protection. I'm still a virgin, so all that bull about how this is just going to push your kid to have s*x, that's completely wrong. Because I am living breathing proof that I didn't go run off with this new information and had s*x.

As for the condom bowl, I thought I've heard about that before and I laughed at it, it sounds so funny. But I'm not saying it's a bad idea at all, I just got this little funny image in my head and I laughed. But I think it's a pretty good idea.

Like I said before I applaud you for doing this because you're one of the few mothers that my mother and I know that actually will inform their child about s*x.

You get two thumbs up from me.

Answer 16

thays a good idear. its better to be safe. even though it will cause arugerments with some people it will keep her from getting pregmet at a young age. it isent incoraging s*x its just keeping people from getting pegnet

Answer 17

I think in this day and age Its not just as much her responsibility. Its even more her responsibility. She would be the one being pregnant while he can run and hide. I probably wouldnt go as far as having a condom bowl but yes I will teach that lesson.

Answer 18

I teach my kids that unless they are willing to make a baby they shouldn't be having s*x. I am NOT saying we don't talk about birth control, just that the biological point of s*x IS reproduction.

Condoms are great at preventing pregnancies---MOST of the time and they prevent MANY (but not ALL) STDs. STDs that are considered "discharge" diseases can be effectively blocked by a condom---BUT so-called "ulcer" diseases and HPV are spread by skin-to-skin and so a condom cannot be relied upon to protect against these diseases.

So a condom may be very effective at preventing pregnancy, but your daughter can still get herpes and HPV.

Would I put a bowl of condoms in the bathroom for anyone to take one? No, because IMO that would encourage a more casual attitude toward s*x than I want to teach my children.  It is one thing to be in a committed relationship and have a personal supply----grabbing one out of the bathroom on the way out of the house seems to imply the s*x is casual.

The more partners you have, the greater the risk for the disease and heartbreak so I would want to discourage casual s*x.

BTW The CDC estimates that 1 in 5 adults and adolescents in the US has a genital herpes infection.

http://www.cdc.gov/std/Herpes/STDFact-He...

As for other kids...no I wouldn't want to be the neighborhood condom depot.

Answer 19

Yes. I have three older children. All were on birth control, which included condoms, when in their late teens. I provided.

Many people disagree with my decision to provide them with protection. I never felt like I was giving permission for sexual activity. I always felt that I was protecting their dreams and ultimately their lives. I always "preached" abstinence but in reality that is not always the best "protection".

It sounds good but very few people actually remain virgins until marriage. Our s*x obsessed society makes this even harder.

Answer 20

whatever happened to MORALS?????

Answer 21

I think that I am going to make sure our daughter knows it is more her responsibility than the guys, only because she will be the one saddled with a baby before she is ready (not to say the guy wouldn't be saddled with the baby, but it will be more her problem than his) or the one dealing with getting an abortion etc.  She will know our values, and hopefully when/if she decides to become sexually active she will be able to come to us so that we can discuss birth control options.  

My mom did not talk about s*x with me at all.  I had PAINFUL menstrual cramps all through high school, and my doctor wanted me to go on birth control, but she refused saying that if I was on the pill it would give me a reason to have s*x.  My doctor tried to explain to her that putting me on the pill, while helping me regulate my periods, would also help PREVENT me from having an unplanned pregnancy if I did choose to become sexually active, putting me on the pill would not encourage me to have s*x, but would help with the insane cramps I had.  She finally consented just before my 18th birthday.  Unfortunately for her, I had all ready been sexually active at that time, AND had an abortion without her knowledge.  I do not blame her for my stupidity, but I do know that if she had been more willing to talk to me about my sexuality, I probably would have made better choices (not that I regret the abortion, but I probably wouldn't have gotten pregnant in the first place).   All I knew at the time, was I didn't want to end up like her; so dependent on a man for my happiness.

Answer 22

awesome idea.

Answer 23

I will not make condoms readily available to my daughter...I will teach her from a very young age to love herself and her body and that any man worth having will wait for her.  I will teach her the emotional, spiritual and physical reamifications of having s*x outside of marriage and I will hope and pray that she heeds my advice and teaching and that she waits.  I will also teach her that if she makes a choice to engage in s*x outside of marriage that I am her mother and I love her and she can talk to me about anything.

Answer 24

How about instilling values in your daughter like waiting until marriage? What has this world come to?

Answer 25

I think it is a very good idea and I think more parents need to be open about this with their children.  Maybe if they were, there wouldn't be so many 12-16 year olds on here saying they were pregnant.  There needs to be more eductaion.

I personally think that you need to pay attention to that though, especially if your children are still at a young age when you set the "bowl" out.  I think that if the number of condoms starts to go down alot of frequently, a talk should be had with your children, to make sure they are using them the right way and not using them as an excuse to go and have s*x with whomever they want.

Answer 26

Absolutely not.  I will teach my children that it is wrong to have s*x as teens, and I will do everything I can to enforce that teaching.  Condoms are not very effective against pregnancy and STD's, and don't protect against all the other issues that come with teen s*x (emotional issues, self-esteem problems, etc).  Providing them with condoms would be like saying "it's wrong to kill people, so you shouldn't do it, but if you DO do it, here's a gun with the serial number filed off so you can do it safely".  I would rather equip my children with tools that ARE effective, like self-assurance, confidence, intelligence, and a sense of the consequences of their actions.

Answer 27

I would teach my daughter that no matter what to stay safe and if neither one of them has a condom just say no and if you know or have an inkling sexual activity is going to happen make sure she has a condom for him if he doesn't. You're right it's the responsibility of both parties involved to be safe and no matter what they should stay safe, so if there isn't a condom or ways to be safe just don't do it.