Will you write a story and include 10 of your favorite Movie titles?

Question

Will you write a story and include 10 of your favorite Movie titles?

Answer 1

Oh you know I can't resist these questions!

We had a thunderstorm today.  Well I thought it was a thunderstorm at first.  Although it took out two of our trees and part of our neighbors roof and her air conditioner and oh yeah, my tomato crop is pretty much *gone with the wind.  I am not entirely sure if it was a *Twister or not but it might have been a small one.  When it hit my youngest daughter was down stairs on the computer watching  *Jonah.  It's her favorite Veggie Tales movie. She didn't even notice the storm until *in the heat of the night our power went out.  My eldest complained when I ordered her to the Basement but I told her *Something Wicked this way comes and told her to get down here pronto!  When the storm struck our tree I was pretty sure it was to going *to kill a mocking bird that had a nest there however he seems to be okay after all. I will explain later. At any rate, the sky turned greenish yellow and then went *the Color purple and I was sure that those were some bad *signs because it was only six in the evening! Too soon for the sun to be going down.  The tornado traveled *north by northwest and took out a swath of my neighbors fence.  It was very impressive!  I have always learned to pay attention to storms and have a *six sense about those things having grown up in tornado alley!  "Mom!" my eldest complained "What are we going to do while the power is out?"  Our Dog *Quigley down under the bed whined pitifully. He is so afraid of storms!  *Harvey, my cat was close by too.  As it turned out every thing was fine and by the next morning with the sun shining as if it had never stormed we surveyed the damage.  The mocking bird swooped down and stood on the edge of the deck and let loose with a song. He was okay after all!  I looked at him and said "Well I guess *the birds survived after all! Thank God! *It's a wonderful life, don't you think!

Answer 2

THE MAN WHO KNEW TOO MUCH

I am THE MAN WHO KNEW TOO MUCH. It all started when I witnessed the murder on THE THIRTEENTH FLOOR of the HOTEL RWANDA. Now I am in the government’s WITNESS Protection Program. I live in constant fear that the perpetrator of the crime will discover MY SECRET IDENTITY.

The day started out innocently enough. I had ducked into the BELL, BOOK AND CANDLE, THE SHOP AROUND THE CORNER, where I ran into TOOTSIE, a PRETTY WOMAN I used to date. “Ah! Tootsie!” I thought to myself.  ÃƒÂ¢Ã‚€ÂœTHE GIRL CAN’T HELP IT if she has the kind of hot, s**y rockin’ body that drives men wild!!”

Tootsie asked me to stop by her place a little later for a drink. After purchasing a copy of “HOW THE WEST WAS WON,” I stepped out into the street to hail a cab for Tootsie’s hotel. I was really looking forward to seeing her again. “That’s a package I really want to unwrap,” I said to myself. “It would be like Christmas and my birthday all rolled into one!!” In fact, I remember thinking, “IT’S A WONDERFUL LIFE.” Little did I know what was about to happen--one tiny little mistake can change your whole life!

Tootsie’s room was on the Fourteenth Floor. I ended up on THE THIRTEENTH FLOOR quite by accident. I rang the bell to what I thought was her room, except it was the same room number, only one floor beneath. When she didn’t answer, I decided to see if it was unlocked, and just let myself in. After all--I was AN INVITED GUEST!! Perhaps Tootsie was just in the shower or something. Heck! I could use a shower--maybe we could even get UP CLOSE AND PERSONAL!!

Inside the room, I saw Muggsy Spiegel, pretty boy gangster, gunning down Dorothy Dandruff, a former “Playboy Magazine” centerfold, famous for THE ROSE TATTOO on her left breast. Unfortunately, Muggsy spotted me. His eyes met mine. He knew I could identify him. I knew I was toast! I managed to escape by ducking out the REAR WINDOW. He fired A SHOT IN THE DARK at me, but missed. It’s amazing how fast I could run down a fire escape when motivated by gunfire!!  

I conveniently ducked into a nearby SUBWAY, and made my escape. Then I called the FBI to report witnessing Dorothy Dandruff’s murder by Muggsy Spiegel. I was immediately placed in the Witness Protection Program, and relocated to another city, until such time as I could testify against Spiegel.

Even so, one evening I was dining at MAMMA MIA‘s, when the waiter accidentally served “my”” spaghetti and MEATBALLS to someone else. He was apologizing to me for s******g up the order, when we both noticed the other diner suddenly fell face forward onto his plate of pasta. I knew CPR so I immediately sprang to my feet to see if I could be of assistance. I did what I could, but when the paramedics arrived shortly thereafter, they informed me he was in THE DEAD ZONE.

The man had been poisoned! My “cover” had been discovered, and for my safety, the FBI moved me to yet another city. Now I live in fear that somehow, SOMEWHERE IN TIME, Muggsy will catch up with me. Will I live long enough to testify against him?

Will Tootsie and I ever be reunited?? Till then, will it be my fate to remain THE 40 YEAR OLD VIRGIN??

Answer 3

Dodge City, Kansas

Circa 1875

"What About Bob?"

Festus wandered over to the Miss Kitty, who was alone at a corner table in the Long Branch.

"WHAT'S NEW,PUSSYCAT? " He smiled and sat next to her.

Kitty half-smiled. " Hi, Festus. Where did DUMB AND DUMBER go? I thought you were going fishing with them, today."

Festus giggled. "See, the thing is, is.....Them two boys got into a heap of trouble with ol' Matthew. 'Pears they were ...."

Kitty interrupted. "Festus. Frankly, I don't really give a rat's *** where those BLOODSUCKING FREAKS, are." She wiped away a tear as she tossed down another gulp of Randy Scouse Git Rotgut.

"Awwwww, Miss Kitty. You thinking about Matthew, are you? Whyyyyyyy........Right about now he and Sunshine are probably ...."

She interrupted again. "Festus!!! Please!!! I do not want to hear about how Matt is FERTIL(IZING) THE BLASPHEMING BOMBSHELL !! My life is basically THREE..... EXTREMES........Miserable,More Miserable and THE DEAD ZONE.  I hate Sunshine like POISON IVY."

"Miss Kitty? Did I ever tell you about the time I got poison soooooo bad , that....." He looked at her quickly. "And THIS time, do not interrupt me. Anyways, it must have been, 5...no....I think 10 years ago. You see....I was......... Miss Kitty? Miss Kitty? Now where in tarnation 'd she go off to?"

Kitty was headed over to Doc's. Listening to Festus for too long usually gave her a headache that would kill KING KONG.

"I need to talk to someone with a brain in his head. Wonder if Doc's in his office."

"Hey, Doc. Anyone home?"

"Come on in, Kitty. S'up my little CACTUS FLOWER?" He chuckled at his attempt to be funny.

"Dooooooooc, please! I just left Festus babbling to himself."

"Say no more!" He smiled. "What can I do for you?"

"Doc? Why did Matt leave me for that idiot Sunshine?! I mean ...Did he wake up one morning and decide to take  A HITCHHIKER'S GUIDE TO THE GALAXY?!!!!! "

Doc spit out his coffee. "Hahahahahha. Yes, I think he just may have." He looked fondly out the window in the direction of Sunshine's farm." I think our U.S.Marshal ran smack dab into a shooting star!!"

"Bah!!!! More like a combination of THE DEVIL'S MUSE, THE BAD SEED and s*x AND THE CITY !!!!!!!"

Kitty seethed while Doc doubled over with laughter.

"Doc.....My life is going nowhere. I might as well be DRACULA: (I'd be) DEAD AND LOVING IT."

Doc regained his composure."Now, now, Kitty. Don't talk like that. It can't be that bad!"

Kitty looked him square in the face. " Doc. I'M ALONE IN THE DARK."

Doc patted her on the shoulder. "Say!! Why don't you get out your little BLACK BOOK. I'll bet THE MAGNIFICENT SEVEN would love to hear from you."

Kitty stood up and straightened her dress.  "Hmmmmmm....Let me tell you a bit about them:

BROADWAY DANNY ROSE is a SHOW BOAT!

PATTON is too bossy!

FARGO is a total  PSYCHO!

ZELIG is constantly changing his personality!

HUD is self-centered.

JFK is a THE PLAYER!

And COOL HAND LUKE , or as I refer to him, THE CREATURE FROM THE BLACK LAGOON, scares the h**l out of me!!"

Doc watched as she silently closed the door behind her.

Then he rushed to the window.

"Hey, Kitty! WHAT ABOUT BOB?"

Answer 4

I am THE OMEGA MAN, which is better than being the alpha dog I guess.  I seldom go out at night because there all these weird people who really need a bit more sun.   They are pale pink eyed people and they are all after me for some reason.  My brother  DONNIE DARKO got a jet engine dropped  on his head which is why he may not be quite "compos mentis" if you know what I mean.  I mean he started talking to rabbits in the mirror.  I figured he had gone off the deep end.  On the other hand in my family you never know where weird ends and normal begins.  I went looking for him and he was asleep in the middle of the street.  I called out O BROTHER WHERE ART THOU.  I felt like saying "I can't believe you are the same flesh and BLOOD SIMPLE simon!  

Well anyway in the Florida Keys there is island after island and when we are visiting friends who live down there we are always going A BRIDGE TOO FAR.   We were visiting our friends the Bridges and their Daughter Bridget, whom we called Little Bridges.  They used to live in Illinois where they were called THE BRIDGES OF MADISON COUNTY, where they made a pretty penny suing people and collecting on damages.   Before they got into lawsuits they were uncivil engineers and helped on a project, I believe you remember it, the  BRIDGE OVER THE RIVER KWAI where the workers were paid next to nothing and the British foreman was a bit tetched in the head.

Anyway they decided they really wanted to find A PLACE IN THE SUN so they moved to Florida and then their oldest boy, he got this girl pregnant and so he offed her.  Bad move however, since Florida doesn't fool around when it comes to capitalist punishment. You see he was all set to marry the boss's daughter and then he does this.  Young people these days.  Goodness gracious.  They are just terrible.  

And then you know all those New Yorkers down there in Florida.  Well THE EMPIRE State STRIKES BACK and says you can't just leave New York.  What?  Too cold for you?  Too expensive?  Taxes got your tongue?  Eliot Spitzer said that the way people leave New York was just INTOLERABLE CRUELTY, but then he got caught doing naughty things.  Young people these days.  Goodness gracious.

So don't be a dingaling with a hyperactive dong.  Don't send FOR WHOM THE BELL TOLLS it tolls for thee.  And would the last person to leave New York please turn out the lights?  Tis better to use compact fluorescent that to curse the darkness, no?