With Every?

Question

With every breath

of my ever fading soul

with every cry

every laugh

I dream of you

but you will never know

and with every passing moment

that drags you ever away

all the tears that I hold back

at the end of each day

with every slumberless night

toss and turn, I beg

that you will love me back

yearn for me this way

and with every quiet ponder

in the middle of the day

I dream of you

and you will never know

Answer 1

I really liked it. It tells of loving someone so much that they could never know cause maybe they didn't love you the same way or as much as you did.

Answer 2

Aww......I love it!

Answer 3

love from afar.  love it.

Answer 4

Great poem.  Heart-wrenching, as many of the great ones are.

"Ponder" used as a noun?  It's a verb, but it seems to form a balanced fit here.  

Call its use poetic license, which means "deviation from fact, form, or rule by an artist or writer for the sake of the effect gained." (Webster's 10th Collegiate Dictionary, p. 671)

Answer 5

I don't like the line "with every quiet ponder" Ponder is a verb not a noun, so you can't really use it there. You can replace it with thought though, and it will match what you wanted to say. Keep writing and reading poetry, you will improve everyday. Stay Strong.