With so many people trying to adopt infants, do you think?

Question

do you think there should be a policy against people who have already adopted 1 infant not being allowed to adopt another?

There are so many wonderful and qualified people waiting years to adopt a baby, and then I see couples who already have 2 kids (either biological or adopted) and who are trying to adopt newborns; I think this is wrong. I think once you've been successful in adopting 1 newborn, you should only be allowed to adopt an older or hard-to-place child after that. How is it fair that you should get to adopt a newborn for the second time when there are thousands of people waiting to adopt for the first time?

Anyone's thoughts?

Answer 1

It is unethical, IMO, to consider children a commodity, and "Only 1 per customer" is making them a product.

Also, it would be unfair to the expectant moms to have their choice of family for their infant limited, just to please more adoptive parents...what if they want experienced parents? What if they want their child to have older siblings or a large family?

Anyway, in your scenario who is this authority "allowing" anything? Most infant adoptions are private, as most agencies are private businesses.

Answer 2

Interesting topic!  But first of all, let me correct a myth -- there are virtually NO hard to place infants in the U.S.  There are soooo many approved adoptive families waiting for every newborn infant!  And it stays this way until you get to about age five years.  And the reason around age five is, adoption then becomes a little challenging to find the RIGHT family because most of the time these little tykes have history -- which is often problematic -- neglect, abuse, etc. This may require the adoptive family to have special training, education, personality and/or mind set.  And the resources, support, energy and tenacity to access medical therapy, counseling, rehabilitative care, etc.  But special needs infants?  Almost unheard of anymore, thank goodness!  There are special adoption agencies that place HIV+ infants, infants with Down syndrome, who may be MR, have catastrophic illnesses, infants who are deaf, blind, etc.  There are wonderful, approved, adoptive families for every baby!

So your question of limiting the number of adoptions?  I don't think so, because if adoptions are done right (and many agencies in my opinion do not) then it is about the BEST  INTEREST OF THE BABY.  And that has to be decided by so much more than: "Whose next on the list with no children?"

Answer 3

adoption isn't about the prospective parents,it's about whats best for the child.if i worked for an adoption agency,i would be more likely to place the child where i think it would thrive best,not to share out among parent's to make things fair.

Answer 4

Wow!  Interesting question.  Not sure how I feel on the subject.  While going through infertility and wanting desperately to start a family, I would have been 100% supportive of your position because we wanted to start a family so badly.

However, now that we have adopted and are considering adopting another, I would hate to be "penalized" because of our previous adoption.  People who can have children biologically can have more than one infant, I guess my position on the subject would be....why shouldn't adoptive parents be allowed to do the same?  

Just my thought; but good "thought-provoking" question.

Answer 5

Why is it wrong If the baby is placed in a great home then that is all that matters . If you have the money then you can do it It saves the child form being put into foster care and going to foster care after foster care .

OK let me clarify alot of ppl like to adopt newborns cause they are the most fragile also they like to get that bond also . A lot of newborns die cause they do not receive the love that they need . Do you have any kids have you adopted I feel if you haven't had kids nor have adopted any maybe you shouldn't be asking such a question and making such an opinion . There is at least 1 baby per hospital per state left there due to it being a crack baby and the mothers leaves it to just go out on the street and your telling me if a family that already has a baby or kids has no right to take that child and care for it and love it so it has a shot in this world . BS !!!

Answer 6

I think if you want to adopt a newborn then you should be required to look into adopting an older child.  It's only fair to save an older child from a life in foster care.  Plus older children deserve a home as well not just newborns.

Answer 7

Hi,

first you have to work with a licensed agency to get posted on parent profiles (that is how I matched with my daughter).

generally the birthmom chooses the family and she may want to choose a family that already has one or more adopted children.

I do think it is kind of "selfish" at some point to adopt a bunch of newborns (3, 4, 5?) but that is my opinion and i definitely wouldn't want a policy based on it.

I would like my daughter to have a sibling and hope to adopt a second. right now i don't know if that would be another infant or an older child. we'll just wait and see.

Answer 8

i say, there are plenty of infants that need homes, and if you have the love to spread, then why not spread it.

Answer 9

I think more people should adopt older children, because they are people too. Yes babies may be cuter and you might want the experience of raising a child, the older children need homes too. and they want a home to go to. I know i would want a home and be able to go to my own room and not have to share a bunk bed with another child.

Answer 10

1. Why limit that restriction on those adopting?  Why should they have that burden, while those who have biological children have no such restrictions?

2.  Please don't ever pretend to be a woman in a crisis pregnancy again.  While I'm sure your heart might have been in the right place, that is just darn tacky.  I don't think you get the weight of what those coercive potential adoptive parent profiles are in the grand scheme of things.

Answer 11

It would be nice if more people were willing to take older children. However I don’t think if you’ve adopted one newborn that you should be banned from ever adopting a newborn again.  Look at couples who don’t have a biological child for whatever reason but want one, should parents only be allowed one natural child, or only allowed one baby via IVF or other ways people get around fertility?

If a couple wants to adopt only newborns that certainly is their choice. Just as its someone choice if they want to have 10 biological children.

Answer 12

Placing restrictions on adoptive parents like you've suggested would violate our rights as adoptive parents.  Why would we have any less right to have more than one newborn than someone who was able to or wanted to give birth to a child?  

It is up to the birthparents whether or not they want to place their child with a couple who already has children.

And thank goodness there is no restriction on how many newborns we can adopt because if there were, we wouldn't have our precious baby girl right now!

Answer 13

I think you have a good point.  My husband and I adopted two infants, one 2 1/2 weeks and one 2 months old.  By the way, they were in the hard to place group.  I wanted to adopt again and wanted to adopt a family group of up to four children, but my husband was satisfied with two children.  

There was no way I could have adopted more children unless he also wanted to do so.  Anyway it would not have been fair to the children if they were unwanted by one parent.

Now I am sixty and in poor health, so I know the time has passed for me to fulfill this dream.

I taught school for many years and I have never met a child I didn't love.  I think your question should be sent to all of the adoption agencies.  It may make them rethink their policies.

I am curious about you and why you are asking this question.  Are you waiting to be adopted?  Please e-mail me through Yahoo if you like or add a comment to your question.  Thanks

Answer 14

I don't think I can support you on this one.  If people meet the qualifications and have the money and means to adopt, I don't see why they shouldn't be allowed to adopt another newborn.  There aren't limits placed on people having biological children in this country, so I don't think we should do it here.  

That being said, I understand how frustrating it is to wait for adoption.  I'm going through it too.  Once you have one, I bet you'll want another one too.