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Wives, if your husband started a business and it failed would you hold it over him for years?

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Lets say you talked it over but it was really going to be his baby. If it failed and your family had to deal with hardship because of it would you hold it over him for years or would you simply be like, he is the person I put my faith in, so I still need to believe?

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  1. I wouldn't hold it over his head for a day, let alone years. You never know until you try, and you'll never get ahead in life if you aren't willing to take risks. As long as he did everything he could to make it a success I wouldn't make him feel like a bigger failure by holding it over his head.

    My husband has tried and failed a couple of times, and yes we struggled for a while because of it, but then he finally got it right and we are reaping the rewards. How fair would it be for me to benefit from his success, if I'm not willing to stick by him in failure?


  2. yes i would. don;t trust him next time.

  3. I'm going through this right now. (well, he didn't fail) My man is starting a business and I am behind him 100% all the way. You can't be with someone who takes that risk and not be. If he fails, we have already talked about plan B. I would not hold any failure over my man's head. I am his rock.  

  4. No way, I wouldn't hold it over him because having the business fail would probably hurt him bad enough, and it would only murder his self-esteem all the more. Instead I'd encourage him to try new things, maybe even give it another try and start another business if that's where his heart was. I watched my older brother who is somewhat of an entrepreneur start out, he had a few businesses many would consider to be 'flops' but that didn't stop him from building on his dream. He's now very successful in his life.

  5. yes....

    if he put me in debt, of course...

    but if just some money, and even if he fails wouldnt put me in debt, i can careless

  6. I would help him make it work.  

    But if it failed, h**l no I would not hold it over his head.  We would just deal with it and move on.  No matter what type of financial hard ship it caused, we'd deal with it.

  7. no, I wouldn't hold it over his head, especially if he put his all into it.  Nothing ventured, nothing gained.  At least he tried.

  8. I would hug him every day and tell him I am still proud he chased his own dream, and do whatever it took to make ends meet.  

  9. Some wives are pretty sensitive about their husbands' abilities to provide for the household.  A lot of husbands are too.  We guys tend to take it really personally when our moneymaking goes down the drain (whether it's from a failed business, a layoff, being fired, or whatever) and it tends to worry our wives also.

    Yeah, it would be nice if they continued to have faith in us  and she shouldn't ride him for it forever if it was his first failure but if this is getting to be a pattern then maybe self-employment is not in the cards for the guy.

    Sounds like the couple should see a professional.

  10. Sometimes businesses fail. It is definitely not in my nature to hold grudges like this. I love my husband so I would be supportive. I am very skeptical of get rich quick schemes so if it were one of those, I wouldn't hold it against him but I wouldn't say much about it.  

  11. your vow is to stick together through richer or poorer.

    My husband's business failed, and we had a couple of really tough months, but I can tell you, we grew richer through it. our love and commitment grew and we had fun digging for penny's for a loaf of bread and milk, the days before my salary arrived. we are now WAY past that and much better off financially, with a new house, great furniture, and it was well worth the struggle.

    money does not buy happiness though.

  12. It happened to my parents. My dad started a farm business many years ago. He invested a lot in it, but not much profit. My mom wasn't really wise about the whole situation and would turn the kids against our dad. She had family meetings when my dad wasn't home and everyone would talk about how that farm business effects our financial situation. Since I didn't agree with my mom, I would be the black sheep in a family for a long period of time until we had an eye to eye with my mom.

    Currently, I want my husband to start a business, but I don't just want him to do whatever he thinks will work (what my own dad did), I want him to plan everything, EVERYTHING. If it fails then we'll do our best to survive. If I know my husband did everything he could to have a successful business, but it still failed, I don't think I would hold it against him.

  13. Something like this did happen in my marriage......and after we got over the shock & the sadness that it didn't work we put it behind us and moved on.

    He would have done the same thing if it had happened to me.

    When I wanted to start working for myself....he was in my corner.

    What happens happens....but you can't let it get in the way of your relationship.

  14. It would depend on what sort of sacrifices I had made and why it failed. Also, it would depend on how well-researched the plan was before he started it. Wanting something to work is not enough.

  15. "I told you so" would probably be my most used phrase for the next fifty years.

    LOL!

  16. i would hold it on if he cheated me with another lady

  17. Um, of course not.  And anyone who does is not a very good spouse.

    You need to support your spouse no matter what -- and yes, the business may be his baby but like you said the two of you discussed it and came to an agreement that it would be okay.  I can't believe some of the things people think of doing to their spouses!  You should be supporting him and stroking his ego, trying to make HIM feel better.  You're upset that the family is going through a hard time?  How do you think HE feels, knowing HE is the reason the family is suffering?

    Get over yourself, and be there for your hubby!

  18. I would really hope that I wouldn't be the type of wife who would blame him like you mentioned.  I think it might come up every now and again when he tried to tell me how to manage my money, but it would take a lot of aggrevation for me to bring it up to him.  He has brought up lots of my past failures in the years before, so why not do it back to him?

  19. We need to believe in our spouse ESPECIALLY when they fail, which is only human & happens to everyone.  Money isn't the be-all end-all although so many people think it is.    

  20. No a wife should stick behind her husband no matter what.  We are called to be helpmates.  Yes if she thought it was a bad idea she should voice her opinion but after that sit back and be there for her husband.

  21. Is she thought it was going to be a bad idea and you did it despite her then she has a right to be upset. But you took vows and promised to be with each other in good and bad times. If she continues to nag you then its time to seek a counselor.

  22. Blaming someone for a failed business venture is petty and will not help the marriage thrive.  Her best option is to accept that the venture failed and move on from there.

    If she absolutely cannot let go of it then she needs some counseling to figure out why.

  23. I wouldn't hold it over him. At least he tried to follow a dream, so he could really help his family. Now that their help is needed is not the time to start with the nagging. You married for better or worse. So time to get back on the horse and solve the problem together.


  24. No at least he tried to follow his dreams vs working a 9-5 wondering about the biz.
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