Wives/husbands of gamblers....?

Question

i really need some advice!...we have been married for 6 years and have a small child.........we are in so much debt because of his gambling.. i cant afford to leave him but its like he doesnt realize how bad he is.. he makes all the promises under the sun...but never keeps them... and then he says well i work i should be allowed to do something i want to do...i stay at home with our child and i never go anywhere because there isnt enough money... i am just so depressed...i dont know what to do..... serious answers please...please dont take the p**s ......thank u

Answer 1

Gambling is an addiction....they all think they will win the "big" one....and continue to go futher in debt.    He needs help.

Answer 2

I remember when my three children were small.   My husband was and still is a gambler - day in, day out I would have to watch the teletext of horses/dogs/football, infact anything that moved he would bet on.  Money was tight as at that time he did not work.  I hated life so much then, although I did enjoy my children.

When they went to school I got myself a job (property developer) and started my own business.  It was so very hard to do, REALLY hard, but I was determined that my life was not going to be ruled by tv/gambling.  I loved my husband dearly in every other way apart from that.

I now have a good life, although now the football season is back, it starts to get a little boring at weekends as once again the tv is full of it.  But I have written this to try to make you understand that out there, however useless you feel at the moment, there is a life for you to achieve things, even without your husband being involved.  It is just waiting for your child to grow up a little.

When my children were younger, I would attend play groups with them to get me out of the house more.  I also would visit friends and family so that I did not have to sit  in day in - day out and be bored by the constant teletext!

I really hope, if your marriage is good that you can over come this.  I gave up trying to stop my husband from gambling, simply because his father (rest his soul) was a gambler from a very young age and all of the family were bought up to believe it was just a 'way of life'.  I knew this when I met him and thought it unfair to try to change him when I married him.

It is tough, I really wish I could give more useful advice - I can only say, hang on in there until your children are older and you can make your own name for yourself and earn your own money to buy all the things you have ever wanted, for you and your child.

Good luck and I hope it turns out well for you all.

:)