Woman haters, and women who accept it?

Question

I want to know how I can avoid the pitfalls my mother and my ex's mother have fallen into. They were and are with women-haters, abusers who have called them names, emotionally, phsychologically, and physically abused them. Men who have cheated on them without a thought, not believing in monogomy and praising open marriages even if it wasn't the agreement to start with, and unacceptable for the woman to do so. Men who have abused, neglected, and left other children and wives. And they (women) accept it. These are the models I have seen, and I'm wondering where I could go to get a strong woman to look up to and emulate. I do not want to turn out like these women, and I'm sorry that they ever had to put up with it, .....until

they act justified. He's the one who married me, he comes home to me, he's just misunderstood, spare me. And the sons they have raised are soaking it all up. Proud to have obedient and blind mothers who will overlook their bigotry as a resut of their fathers image. How can a raise a son to respect women, when he will be seeing this himself, besides my best attempts to steer him towards equality? And how can I insure my daughters self respect when she will see her father thinks nothing more of women than game and s*x?

Answer 1

You recognize the pitfalls, so you have a better chance of avoiding them. You're becoming a strong woman on your own.

Answer 2

The fact that you know what to spot and the signs are a good start; it means you are less likely to fall for it. If you marry or move in with a man, make sure a good long non cohabitational relationship precedes it...really get to know him.

Raise your sons to abhor emotional and physical abuse of others.

Answer 3

Simply put, don't stand for it. You have to love yourself above all others (with exception to children).  I would suggest seeing if you have close friends that can be positive examples as well as looking into the red flags of "abusers and users" as I call them.  I am sorry I cannot be of much help, I have experienced just the opposite.  My grandma always to me to tell boyfriends "If you are going to hit me you better make it good because you only have one shot"...meaning after the first time a man hits you you should leave him.  Of course I have always said this in a somewhat joking manner because my boyfriends, and now husband, have always treated me very well.

I hope someone with more similar experiences is able to help you better.  You are an amazing women for simply wanting to break the cycle.

Answer 4

So, you as I have predicted TDed me; thank you.

Now, let's get to the nitty gritty.  To clarify a point you do not OBEY being treated like c**p you SUBMIT to it. Now, why in the h**l did you ever in your right mind submit to being treated like dirt.  Where in the h**l was your self-esteem? Well, with your low, below scale, self-esteem you taught her that didn't you?  Ahh, yes you did.  She watched you submit and accept it; in other words you have no business in advising her.  My daughters on the other hand are in better hands. They understand and know the difference between being obedient and submissive.  They know it's not respectful for themselves, and, or their future spouses to allow their future spouses to squat on their faces, such as you allowed your own daughter to witness.  Have you no pride, no shame. My God women you're nothing but a disgrace. No, you have no right to teach her right from wrong.* Just in case my violation is in the mail. Thank you, and, or I am deleted, I thank you again.*I have very high standards when it comes to men and how I conduct myself. I suggest you do the same and no, I won't baby you.

Compliant, docile, tractable, yielding, deferential, respectful. These are other words for obedient.

Tractable, compliant, pliant, amenable. 2. passive, resigned, patient, docile, tame, subdued. These are other words for submissive.  And I don't see nary a word relating to respect; nope not at all.  

Like I said you don't obey being treated like c**p, you submit to it. You should have never done that.