Women, found out husband had long term affair?

Question

Did you stay with him? Why? Did you eventually split? Was there a lot of fighting and unhappiness if you stayed together?

Answer 1

when i found out he was having an affair there was no show of remorse, no pleas to forgive him, and i realized he had chosen her over me and that i could never trust him so i divorced him.there would have been more unhappiness had we tried to go back and undo what had happened.once that line is crossed its usually over with.

Answer 2

I just recently found out my husband had one back in March, we were going to stay together, but we are separated now. I have a very hard time trusting ANYTHING he says to me. There wasn't much fighting, but we eventually had one that was SO big, it was devastating. And we split from that. The girl he had the affair with is pregnant now, and he's living with her. I am so sorry for you. I definitely know how you feel. I wish you the best. You will be in my thoughts....

Answer 3

you know....the answer is in your heart.  God equip us with what we need, when we need it.  I'm not going to say leave, pack, divorce and start over b/c they may not be in your heart.  Right now, you are too emotional to make any decisions.  Take a breather....pray.  Get your mind stable and talk to him, then you both need to go to counseling together and separate.  It's hard but it can be done.  Whatever steps you decide to take to either make it work or move on are the right steps for you.  You are NOT insecure if you forgive him and work on your marriage, you are in love with him.  

Answer 4

All I know, when your husband has an affair if you are willing to stay and work things out, you don't nail him about it when you loose your temper. You can not constantly remind him he cheated on you.

He already apologize and he is trying to work things out with you.

The only problem is that you keep remembering the facts so you are the one that brings the marriage down on the second chance.

If you stay with him work hard on it, and accept the past as the past. It is the hardest things to do but if you can't do it, let him go. You will bring misery to yourself, the kids and him.  

Answer 5

i'd leave.  I don't need that in my life

Answer 6

Tried to stay but he eventually cheated again with a different woman so I left.  

Answer 7

I think that affairs happen for a reason, usually because there is one or more problem in a marriage. Unfortunately, both men and women can be too coward to admit that their marriage is falling apart so they take the affair route. An affair is also a sign that a marriage is over together with stop having s*x with your partner. I wouldn't stay together with a men who has cheated on me as I wouldn't trust him but you can only do what is right for you. If you decide to stay with him I would suggest that you see a therapist to work out where things went wrong.

Good luck!

Answer 8

I'm sorry I don't think it will work. Once you find out someone cheated on you you'll never be able to get it out of your head... I can promise you that. There may be on and off periods of happiness but you will Not be all around happy in the long run. End it hun. Move on to bigger and better things... Find someone that loves You and will not cheat on you. They don't ALL cheat!!

Answer 9

I found out my husband was having an affair for about 5 months. We split up for 4 months. I was totally ready to call it quits. He was literally devastated when he realized the out come of his fling.  We never fought, except for normal stuff, but NOTHING that would of led me to believe that out relationship was ending. NOTHING. To make a long story short, we got back together, I forgave him, but will never forget it. I had to forgive him in order to take control back of MY life. I told my self " If you're going to fall, fall FORWARD." I would of been fine without him. But I decided to give him a chance. It was the hardest thing I've done. ( Oh, I'm sure it also helped when I let him think I was dating again.) :) Right now, I can say we're doing good. But I would be lying if I told you its in the back of my mind when I hear his cell phone ring and etc. I found out when I though he was going out a little too often and opened his cell bill and went that route. I'm curios, how did you find out? I look at it this way... people can make mistakes, and that was a HUGE one. And it it EVER happens again, I will definitely be gone. I'm not sure what I would have done had it been a long time affair. That's a long time to be living a lie. Each persons situation is different. No one can tell you what to do. You do what YOU need to do.

Best of luck. I feel your pain. :(

Answer 10

It never works

Answer 11

It will depend on how much the man is worth,, if he's rich they will stay poor divorce