Women, how would you feel if someone said this to you?

Question

Today I was riding home from work with my parents. We got onto the topic of household repair, since my dad had caulked the bathtub earlier. I mentioned that I would like to learn how to do some basic repairs. That's something everyone should learn, right?

Well, not according to my mother. Her exact words in protest of this plan were: "But you are so feminine a girl . . . " From this, I concluded that:

a) my mom is sexist, and

b) she doesn't know me at all.

Discuss.

Answer 1

I conclude your mom is oldfashioned and still thinks that a man will be willing to perform those types of duties for you, but that isn't the reality in this day and age. I'm oldfashioned to, and I like having men do those kind of things for me because that is how I was raised to believe, but I was deprived of learning these skills because that is what my parents believed and taught me, but it just isn't realistic in this society and I think you need to let your mom know that. Otherwise you are going to find yourself forking out a lot of dough having repairs done by professionals when in reality you could do it yourself. The age of the gallant gentlemen that looks out for the lady in distress has ended. It doesn't mean she is sexist, it means she is living in the past. Some of us would like to believe we can keep chilvalry and romance alive, but it just isn't going to happen, we now live in the age of do it yourself, abort it if you don't want it, greed, power, and lust. None of these things are romantic or desireable in my opinion, but who am I? ;-)

Answer 2

"But mom, what's going to happen if the toilet springs a leak and my husband is at work? Someone's gotta fix it!"

I'd have said it sarcastically, of course, but why do I get the feeling that would seem like a reasonable argument to her? ;-)

Answer 3

i don't know if she's sexist, but she apparently doesn't know you very well. maybe you should calmly tell her why you want to learn how and make an effort to really let her know the kind of woman you are. good luck!

just remember: parents say the darndest things!

Answer 4

Mothers eh??

Whenever mothers open their infamous mouths only one thing comes out - what they want us to be... what they think we should be, could be should have been or could have been.

I think you mother sees a more traditional feminine/wifey role for you - get a masculine job and cut your hair... that will really freak her out!

Answer 5

Some parents were raised in a diffrent time period than us (in fact all of them were) and we have to hold it as best as we can by learning from there mistakes.

Answer 6

1.  Learn some basic home and car repairs will save you a lot of time and trouble in the future.

2. little of both I would guess.

Answer 7

theres nohing at all wrong with a female that knows how to take care of herself and her house.

i would be very upset if someone sid that, especially my mother.

Answer 8

She's just saying that usually feminine girls don't show an interest in that sort of thing. Not that you shouldn't or you can't, it's just less common in feminine girls so she was surprised.

Answer 9

you are lucky that your mother is like that, i know domineering and abusive feminist mothers who have attempted to feminize their sons and masculize their daughters, these families are the most dysfunctional families you could ever come across.

Answer 10

You haven't mentioned your culture, but that may play into it as well.  I'm 49 and the only reason I don't caulk much is that I'm not that good at it!

If you know how to caulk - come on down!  I need some help!   :-)

On a serious note - ask your dad!  I think he'd be tickled to teach you!

Answer 11

talk to your mom about.

maybe she is just worried you could get hurt

but i tottally think girls can do whatever guys can do!

please answer mine!

i am going for a record

http://answers.yahoo.com/question/index?...

Answer 12

Just like men learn to do basic things for themselves ie:

cooking, cleaning,making a to die for chocolate cake.

Women can do the same, like check oil in car, tire pressure, fix a doorknob.

Its no big deal.

She probably meant no harm, its a diff generation.

Answer 13

One girl told me I have so much testosterone on me, just because I can use a drill, is that sexist??... I think it is...no because she compares me to a man, but because she thinks I shouldn't do it in order to look prettier. Anyway, I think I'm pretty enough.

Answer 14

Hun not only is your mother a feminine but was raised up by the old school! But she also does not what to see you hurt in any way!

Answer 15

Knowing how to take care of your home is something everyone should know.  It's sad that this kind of thing is gender stereotyped.  Being able to unclog a sink or light a boiler isn't man's work, it's homeowner's work.  Calling someone to fix every little thing is expensive and not too bright.

Answer 16

She doesn't know you and she is interferring with your interest to become self sufficient.

Answer 17

Myfaeia has a very good point.

Answer 18

It's NOT a generational thing and I find the comments here offensive.  Your mother doesn't know you at all.  I hope you took this opportunity to enlighten her (gently) because I think you are SO right.  I hope you'll ask your father to show you a few things.

My BFF's daughter, who starts grad school in the Fall, hopes to buy a fixer-upper in the town where she's going to school and renovate it HERSELF in her spare time.  Good for her and good for you.

Answer 19

I'd say "I don't care, I still wanna know". I mean what's a girl supposed to do if she's single and living alone and something needs to be fixed but she'd rather fix it herself instead of paying someone else to do it?

Answer 20

Well she probably just assumed you're too girly to do it. She wasn't saying girls can't do it, she was saying you should't, and don't need to.

Answer 21

Well maybe you just read into it a little im sure your mom does know you and if you think about it because you dont already know how to do the little things hint hint but truthfully if your parents are older they are still living in the old ways and that is the women have there roles the men theres i wouldnt let it get to me id just do what i need to and respect her for having faith in your dad because i am married and believe me i would rather chaulk the tub and get it done then let my husband start to do anything

Answer 22

I don't know if she's sexist.

I thought everyone knew how to caulk, so maybe the reason you don't know how to is because you are a little more feminine then you realized?  

Possibly an observation that others can see better than you?

Answer 23

Lmao hun theres nothing wrong with learning basics or repairs around the house! I say Good On You! I wouldnt read to much into what ur mum said though she was probs joking with u and didnt mean it in anyway like that and if u think she did then prove her wrong and show her how u can still be a women and do as some people would say "a mans job"

good luck x

Answer 24

You can still be feminine and learn how to do some basic repairs around the house.  You will need to know some things when you are out on your own anyway.  You don't want to have to call someone everytime a nail pops out of place.  lol!My mom paints, fixes doors, caulks the bathtub, on and on.  You name it.  She's still very feminine.  Be patient.  Your mom loves you.  Moms will drive your silly.  It's probably just the way she was raised.  Her dad probably did everything around the house, so she expects that to be the same way for you.  Someday you may have the chance to drive your child silly.  lol!

Answer 25

she dosent know you at all shes not sexiest just she dosent want to see you grow up to be a young women and take response ably for what you do she is used to you having to ask her for stuff when you where little shes just trying to hold on and keep you little in her heart

Answer 26

Well you have to give her credit, she's passing on what she believes.  However, I didn't get married until I was 29 so there were many years on my own that I needed to know how to do basic household repairs.. i.e. hanging mini-blinds, caulking the bathtub, or installing a new kitchen faucet.  These are all simple tasks that are beneficial for everyone to know.  There is nothing wrong with an independent woman...  Remember Mom means well.

Answer 27

"Sexist" is probably a bit of a harsh word for your mother. I think she is maybe just traditional and making the honest observation (we need honesty from parents, right?) that she is surprised that you like 'masculine' activity as an adult given that you liked 'feminine' activities as a child. This seems like a fair observation to make - child psychologists do it all the time - and not necessarily sexist.

Answer 28

Your mom comes from a different generation and it seems a little disrespectful to call her sexist. She probably has no desire to do something like that and figures you don't either. If you want to learn something then go learn and get off you moms case.

Answer 29

in her generation, women didn't do much in the way of fixing things. in many ways, she is biased against the idea of women doing physical labor/work. However, that doesn't mean she is sexist or doesn't know you....she just knows herself and the generation she grew up in all too well. Just tell her you would like to learn.

Answer 30

I believe that every man and woman should be equally well-rounded and educated.  That means cooking, cleaning, repairing, driving, mechanics.... etc.  I think it's awesome that another girl out there does not want to be confined to the stereotypical "rules" of girl world.  You should go for it, despite your mothers sour feelings towards it.  This will mold you into an independent, strong woman.

Answer 31

You are probably right.    I imagine your mom and dad are a little younger than me.   I would not attribute it to age.  

I married a man who was 6'2-3" quite male.  I mentioned this before,  he had the mechanical aptitude of a flea.   If I could not fix something he knew who to hire.   Being feminine does not mean you can't caulk a bathtub.   I am so happy I used to follow those repair men around.