Women How many of you asked your man to marry you?

Question

Why did you do it?

How did he respond?

Were you scared?

Answer 1

I would never ask a man to marry me for one main reason.  Whenever I have taken the lead in a relationship, whether it be to initiate the next level, to say I love you first, or express any feelings of attachment first, the man has gone running and I am left alone.  I made a conscious decision for myself nearly 10 years ago that I would never again take the lead in a relationship.  I would never again initiate the next step.  I would never again say I love you first.  And that would also include, I will never ask a man to marry me.

If he takes the steps I refuse to, I know he's a man who wants to be with me and who means what he says.

Answer 2

I did. I've known my fiance for 18 years. We've only dated for around three years, but I figure the 15 years of friendship and the smooth, happy, fun, loving, and honest relationship we have had merited taking that leap. I decided to ask him in a traditional way, with a ring, on one knee. I chose the garden at the new Getty Museum and he said yes. I was terrified and trembling, then we went home and his family had planned a huge surprise party for us (I talked with them about the plan in advance).

The deal is that everyone is unique. I notice a lot of posters in this section seem to believe that one, or even a few experiences with people means that all people are exactly that way. This, my friends, is a fallacy. Everyone is different. My sweetie is really shy and I know that about him. He's just always been that way. It's his personality and it hasn't changed since I met him.  I, on the other hand, am fairly outgoing and I like to take risks. So it makes sense to honor the way you and your partner are instead of conforming to some tradition. Why live your life as if you are an actor in a play you did not write? Life is too short and precious to waste like that.

The truth is that part of me regrets popping the question and part of me doesn't. I'm glad we moved our relationship to "the next level" because he is a wonderful person, we are very compatible, and because we are creating the kind of loving stability that a family needs. If we decide to have children, it would be good to be married and stable together. We also really want to make that spiritual commitment in a public way. We already feel that we are family and we want others to recognize that as well. But sometimes I wonder how it might have been to be the princess and have some guy give me the dazzling ring. I realize that this fantasy is not one I created for myself. It is something I bought into at some point and then decided I didn't want or need. It's a small sacrifice I guess, but I don't mind. What I received was unspeakably greater than what I gave up.

The bottom line is that we are all individuals and what works for me only works for me. It might work for you or it might not. That's perfectly fine. We only get into trouble when we assume that we know more about people than we really do. The generalizations we hold sometimes obscure our vision and we continue to find more of what we don't like because we're not open to the possibility (and reality) that people are different.

Answer 3

On Leap Day this year I did. Of course I knew he'd say no...but I got a nice kiss as tradition dictates

I just did it  for fun.  We don't need a piece of paper to prove our love for each other.

I might ask again in 4 more years lol

Answer 4

It was a mutual thing. I felt scared for a second. I don't know how he felt at that moment. But, we're super happy now!

Answer 5

i never did this

Answer 6

The personality traits of a woman who ask a man to marry sends up red flags. I say you don't need the drama and move on.