Women: How many of you have financially helped your partner?

Question

Many times in this category men are referred as the providers and sometimes women are blamed as being gold diggers.

I know this is relative depending on how you view a relationship.

I am curious about if you have financially helped your partner, under which circumstances and what do you think about this?

Answer 1

When I first met my boyfriend, he had a LOT of debt (emergency appendix operation with no health insurance), an unpaid bill for a root canal with a dentist, some credit card debt.

I paid most of it off for him, he is now debt-free.

I also co-signed his car loan, because his credit is bad. He is not good with money, and I am, which is why I pay most of our household bills, he just turns a check for his part over to me when he gets paid.

Answer 2

Too many and then they get nothing out of it.

Answer 3

I supported my partner when he went through a period of unemployment. I also helped him clear his debts when we moved in together. At the moment I am studying for my degree, so my partner is earning more than me, but when I graduate I'll be on roughly double his salary. We split everything 50/50, because we're partners so we work together.

Answer 4

I supported the home when my husband didnt work, for a few months.

And my last boyfriend I supported for 1 month, but soon kicked him out of my house for using drugs.

Answer 5

When we were dating, my husband's parents both moved out of state.  He was 17 and couldn't get a lease. I was 18 so I co-signed for him and paid the rent the first few months until he could get on his feet.  I bought our first car, and also provided the down payment for our first house.

Answer 6

I've financially helped partners in the past.  Sometimes we all have down times and we all need a little help.  Because I either had a steady job in the military or because I have a steady income with the GI bill, I was always in a position to be able to help.  On the partners behalf, however, they all paid me back as soon as they could even though i let them know there was no pressure.  

For each circumstance where I lent out money, I was in a strong relationship with the person and trusted them.  Money to me, while important, is not the most important thing.  I wouldn't let it ruin a relationship if they couldn't pay me back.

Answer 7

Tracey, Unicef is getting jealous. What happened to modesty? I am sure that was a fair price to pay to keep him from running away. Anyway, why can't you just say, "I have."?

Ok, to answer your question... I have.

Answer 8

When my husband's job was slow at one point, I have to shoulder most of our household expenses and had worked a lot of overtime to make it up however, that doesn't make me the man in the house to decide what's best.

Regardless, if I make more money than my husband, my husband is still the man in the house.

Answer 9

well I have been helped before but honestly have never been approached by a man needing money.

Answer 10

I've answered this before but since I like horses... ok.  I supported my ex through 1 year and a half of school.  I also sent money to his family in Romania, including paying association fees on his wife's condo so his kid wouldn't be on the street.

Now, I'm not saying I wanted something back, but when he told me once that he was gonna chop me up and put me in the freezer just because I didn't answer the phone one day, I decided to split.  

And that's just the most recent ex.  I won't even go into ex husbands because I can write a book.  Not bragging, just saying.

Answer 11

At times during our marriage, I made more money than my husband.  Now that we have children under 5, I am staying home with them (a mutual decision by the way).  It evens out if it is a true partnership, which our marriage is.  I would not financially help out a man that I was just dating, nor would I ask him to bail me out.  Exception to that statement: I would help out a boyfriend if I were independently wealthy and it was a situation like others on here with medical debt or something else out of his control.  

Answer 12

My wife and i consider our finances to be interrelated so its not an applicable question, all of our money goes to the same place to pay the same bills

Answer 13

My Mother makes more than twice what my step-father made before he retired.  He gets all defensive sometimes and says that he brings in just as much, but it's obviously not true.  And ... he's 25 years older than her.  When I tell people the age difference between them before I tell them what my Mom does for a living ... well, you can just tell what people are thinking.

I don't think there's anything wrong with a woman helping her man financially.  When I met my husband he was seriously in debt from medical bills.  And I helped him pay it.  I have almost always made just a little more than him, and it's never bothered either one of us.

People love their stereotypes, it helps them make sense of the world.  It's understandable, but I do get tired of having to defend myself against them all the time.

Answer 14

Aside from occasionally treating my partner when we go out, I have not financially helped him out.  He has not required my assistance so far in our relationship.  He has not helped me either.  I would gladly help him out if he needed assistance, as long as I could afford to help him without causing financial problems for myself.  I have helped out previous partners financially.  I have only done so when I can afford to.  As I live paycheck to paycheck, it can be difficult to make ends meet sometimes, and even more difficult to help others.  But I do what I can.  I have never asked for financial help from a partner, nor do I think I would anytime in the near future.

Answer 15

When I first married 30 years ago, he was a struggling law student. He was planning to set out a year to make money.   I had a good job and some funds from an inheritance.   I bought an apartment building that we lived in and several others.  He was able to finish law school on time by managing them for me.

Answer 16

My boyfriend just graduated from college this past May, and he is in the process of looking for a job, and trying to apply for grad school. He has a job, but they are not giving him enough hours, or paying him enough, so the majority of the financial burden in our relationship, such as rent and utilities, is falling upon me at the moment. I don't mind doing this because we all have times in our lives where we need a little help.

Anyway, we have a joke where he tells me I only date him because of his money.

Answer 17

I have not actually helped him, but I'm the only one of us who's working right now.

When my dad proposed to my mom, he had a couple thousand dollars in debt and about $35 to his name. After they were married, she paid the down payment on their first house. She makes more money than he does now, but it wasn't like that when he was still in HR. They consider each other financial equals, as far as I can tell.

Answer 18

I have bailed my wife out of plenty as well as sisters, mother and friends. so whats your point?

Answer 19

I have.

I make a h**l of a lot more than he does.  

Answer 20

More times than I can possibly count. Constantly. I'm ok with things that are valid... but things that aren't? I quit doing that.... never again will I finance boys night out or a new guitar! Please!

Answer 21

I have helped to pay off my (now) husband's existing credit card bills, when we first moved in together.  We both worked full-time and just pooled our money together.

Now that I'm back at work, I'm happy to be contributing financially to the household as it eases the stress on my husband.  As a sub-contract carpenter, there are many factors such as bad weather, delays and shoddy & unreliable building companies(which sometimes go bust) which have placed alot of financial stress on our family.

He works so hard and I just want to help too.