Women being raped, is it their fault?

Question

I was actually horribly surprised and disgusted at what a recent poll that both women and men believed that rape against a woman was partially or entirely her fault due to being drunk or wearing "S****y" clothing. How many people here actually believe this, honestly, and give your entire opinion.

Also do any women here hate being called babe, I don't know why I find this so offensive, it just makes me feel like a piece of meat.

Answer 1

umm... WHAT THE ****???

I THINK THEY WERE DRUNK WHEN THEY WHERE TAKING THIS POLL.... how the h**l can they say that...HOW THE h**l CAN THEY SLEEP AT NIGHT..i think they raped girls.... stupid people....

omg that soo ridiculous, wow. what happened to this world..

people should look up rape victims speak out or something to hear how hurt some girl are out there... and made a video to help stop it.

HOW IS IT THERE FAULT... they have a choice to wear what they please, raping is TAKING A AWAY A CHOICE different things...

i mean whats next

it your fault i raped you because your pretty?

....wtf?

wow. i dont know what to say

thats terrible!

and the babe thing... depends how it is said... but yeah usually i would prefer something other than that!

Answer 2

You're so right!

I reckon only dills think that way. Being drunk is not an excuse. Nor using any kind of clothes. A woman can wear what she likes, it's her body and her taste. And it can never be looked upon as a provocation for being raped.

I'm so p***** right now, just for thinking about that poll.

I don't like the babe word either. There's heaps of blokes that use it.

Best wishes

Answer 3

No, that is totally wrong.  Women do not want to be raped and that a man cannot contol himself and respect a woman's wishes has nothing to do with what she is wearing or drinking.

Answer 4

and what about the sick b*****d raping kids and the elderly what was granny looking for it rape is an act of violence and always the offenders fault

Answer 5

I doubt that people said she deserved to be raped, at least not a majority of people.  I'd like to see where you got your information.  I don't believe it.

As for being called "Babe" I don't let other people make me feel like a piece of meat or feel bad.  That's the power I have over other people's words.

Answer 6

if you observe human nature for a while, nothing will surprise you.  people don't actually think - they just spout whatever little thought enters their minds - or whatever little thought has remained from thoughts from others.  

Not too many people ask to be brutalized - keeping it simple for simple minds.

Answer 7

Rape has turned into such an abused word.

I have heard of girls changing their minds, mid-s*x, and claiming to have been raped.

I think there should be a new word for that type of situation.

I think "club girls" get out of control, drink too much do too many drugs and forget what they are doing a lot. Then they wake up in the morning missing their panties and cry rape.

I don't know. I'm just a guy.

Answer 8

Rape is NEVER 100% the fault of the woman. But she can definitely put herself in situations that INCREASE her chances of getting raped. In that case, its 50% her fault.

Just like if you leave a brand new car unlocked in a bad neighberhood with the keys in it.. when it gets stolen its 50% your fault.

Answer 9

Rape isn't the fault of the victim. I do however believe if you don't like bees or insects you shouldn't cover yourself in flowers and honey. Rapists have certain type of conditions that attract them their victims. If you knowingly put yourself in situations and want to wear the rose colored glasses labeled "i should be able to walk around naked and be fine" or you want to dress like a s***k get wasted and flirty with a room full of 10 guys in a house. I will have wayyy less sympathy.

However if you are on your way home from work or just being out and about and get attacked I will have all the sympathy in the world for you.

Answer 10

In my opinion it's both the man and the woman's fault.  If woman don't place themselves in certain situations then they wont have to worry about being raped.  It's like as a black man I would never think about going to a country, or a biker bar without friends just because the nature of people when they get drunk.  The same should hold true for women.  Not to mention every aspect of your life is a reflection of you, and how people perceive you.  If you wear sexual suggestive clothing then people are going to think you are easy.    And women think a man is nice because he is buying them things like drinks, jewelry, etc, eventually, he is going to want something in return.

Answer 11

yeah that IS surprising.. women are definately NOT responsible for being raped. the way a woman dresses is simply an expression of the way she wants to dress and is not dressing a certain way to look for trouble. regardless of her intensions, no woman dresses to get raped. about being called babe, i totally understand what you mean, and if its coming from someone who i don't know, i do find it offensive. i do have a name, and i'd like to be called by it.

Answer 12

The moment a person says NO, and the act continues, it is a crime.  It is in no way the fault of the victim's regardless of whether they were wearing revealing clothes or had consumed excessive amounts of alcohol.  At the most, you could say they made some poor choices, but they are NOT to blame for the crime committed against them.

And no, I don't hate being called 'babe.'  People can call me what they like.  Besides, I've always found that word to be endearing (depending on the use) as that was my father's pet name for my mother.

Answer 13

Man being stabbed is it his fault?

Kid being slapped is it his fault?

Violence is violence and its never the victims fault.

This has gone on for ever and will probably continue. Women are always the scapegoats in these situations. All we can do is keep being strong and protecting our right to express ourselves how WE see appropiate. Funny how you never see anything about Mens revealing clothing isn't it?!!

Answer 14

No one 'deserves' to be raped. That is just terrible.

I think alot of women believe rape is self inflicted because of shame and embarrassment. If a woman has never been raped it is easier for her to say, "I'd never let that happen to me". Oddly, rape is not something you can predict like that. A good friend of mine was mugged and raped coming home from work at 8pm. It was still light outside and she was a black belt in karate! It was simply a matter of size, malicious intent, and weight.

As for men, wouldn't it be so much easier to blame the victim for a lack of control? Men around the world justify covering women in burkas, segregating them from the community, or hiding them away because 'they cannot control their own desire'. According to certain religions, viewing a woman's body may lead to temptation. Doesn't it seem odd to shutter away a female form because men lack restraint? Hardly seems fair.

Recently, a ruling declared in India that when a woman says she is raped, the court undoubtedly believes her. I think if women are to be trusted with that responsibility in the US, we must first present the option.

Answer 15

thats terrible!! i completely disagree with this poll! women are allowed to get drunk and have fun and are also entitled to wear what they want without the threat of being raped. men should be able to contain themselves and i think rape is absolutely disgusting! and yes i hate being called babe too its really tacky lol.

Answer 16

We all have private hates but just get over them ..Some of the girls on these pages really dont understand how dangerious it is the way they  chase boy/men  I hate the trend of Christian names are used now adays they are so less respectful  you are far less likely tobe assulted if refered to/known  as Miss Rogers than Rose Marie  Miss Rogers commands respect and folk take a step back  this applies to the work place ,school and next door neighbours  If anyone asks your name say Miss Rodgers if they say no your name  Im Miss Rogers to you,even a boss (someone you are not interested in continue)  we have not been introduced and I have no wish tobe to you anyway ..

Answer 17

The fault lies exclusively in the male that raped her.  If it had to do with how a woman dressed then 90 year old grandmas would be safe.........and they are not.  This is merely a social belief that blames any indiscretions on the female.  This reminds me so much of when a woman blames another woman for having an affair with her mate. Obviously he made that choice.

Answer 18

Not if they are ACTUALLY raped. A lot of women say they are raped, when really they just woke up and realized they slept with someone they didn't want to... some women say it to feel like less of a s**t after sleeping with so many people.

You can only be raped if you really FIGHT and say NO and mean it. If you say no and give up/change mind, then you wanted to do it, and you can't call it rape.

ACTUAL rape is never the victim's fault, but women shouldn't be able to go around and claim they were raped, when they just made a bad decision.

Haven't been called babe in years... it would depend who is saying it though.

Answer 19

Okay 1 Babe doesn't really bother me too much.  It's one of those things I can really just ignore.  I do not believe that rape is always a woman's fault.  There is one circumstance that I do believe that it is a womans fault.  Let's say your drunk or sober and go to a mans house and ya'll are about to get in the mood and ya'll are in the mood and then you say ummmm I don't feel like it today.  You can't just expect a man to stop and take you seriously and then cry rape.  Some women use the word rape so loosely so that poll could have been skewed.

Answer 20

That seriously bothers me, I do understand that you are judge by what you are wearing and how you act but I doubt that anyone wearing a low cut shirt or a short skirt said hey rape me. If anything it's a cry for attention but they fail to understand it gets them the wrong kind of attention. Men see women like that and think they are easy and that it's okay for them to do anything they want to her. Men try to rationalize it by saying it's her fault because she wore that .......but they would get turned on by anything. And as far as the "babe" I ignore it it doesn't pertain to me that's not my name unless it's my significant other calling me that, he is the only one with the rights to that.

Answer 21

Rape is never the victim’s fault.   Whether it is a female or male victim, it makes no difference.  Rape has nothing to do with what the person is wearing, it has to do with control

As for being called Babe, I wouldn't let it bother you.  No one can make you feel like a piece of meat unless you allow them to.

Answer 22

well anyone who is walking at 2 am in the street, is looking for something bad, either male or female

anyone who is drunk, it's searching for a band of robbers to take advantage or to die in a car crash, get raped, get beaten, killed, kidnapped

women who wear S****y clothes are triying to look well to draw attention, unfortunatly, insane people can give that attention

basically what i try to say is that when people don't take care of themselves, altought it's bad to rape, its also bad not to avoid rape

this world is like that

i dont call girls like that, i find it disrespectful

Answer 23

There is no excuse for a man to commit rape...but......there are some women who put themselves in a situation where they either consciously or unconsciously encourage the attention. This can be either by dressing provocatively, flirting outrageously and/ or leading a man on to think he will get s*x.

It is still regarded as rape if a woman says no moments before the man penetrates but how many people (hand on heart) think a normal hot blooded man could really stop at that point?

Answer 24

What's interesting is that some of the people who blame rape victims have actually gone through something similar.  It's like how moms blame their daughters for being raped. That same mom was raped as a child and was shunned by her relatives, so she does the same thing to her daughter.

They also then think "Oh me being raped wasn't too bad either then. I could have done something to prevent it."

Or, the men blaming the rape victim might secretly condone the act themselves.

It's very common for victims to blame themselves as well..That's just part of the experience..Sometimes, victims go through phases where they blame themselves or where they adamantly blame the rapist.

EDIT:

OMG-I can't believe some of these anwers...I hope you all know that people freeze in traumatic situations and don't easily say "No"...I knew a rape victim that was physically trying to get away and was crying, but the man just dragged her legs and pulled him towards her..The fact remains that she didn't want it, yet he kept going.

If someone says "Give me your wallet" and puts a gun to your head, does that mean that you really want to give him your wallet ? NO.  You gave it to him out of fear. Rape victims can do the same thing.

Answer 25

Agreed.  They're innocent and don't deserve to be raped.  HOWEVER, if I know there's a bad part of town and I choose to go their at 2am, I must bear *some* responsibility if I get shot for being there.  Did I do anything to deserve being shot?  No, but I could have put myself at less risk by avoiding that part of town at that time.  Same with revealing clothes.  Some people are rapists.  That' a fact.  To be a less 'attractive' target, maybe don't show much cleavage or your thong.  I can't recall the last time there was a rapist in an Amish community, if you know what I mean.  College campuses - all the time.

Answer 26

It really depends. I cannot say that all women who were raped deserved it or if it was their fault. If a woman says no before and during the intercourse, and if the guy doesn't stop, it is rape.

I know some actually claim rape even though they didn't say anything or acknowledge they didn't want it . That is messed up and I feel bad for those guys but if the guy is guilty, then he should burn in h**l. Really

And my girlfriends don't mind me calling them babe. They usually use it more than me.

Answer 27

That is a horrible thing to say that because a girl goes out and has a little fun or likes to wear revealing clothing that she deserves to be raped.  I cal BS.  No one should be violated like that because of what they wear and what they like to drink.  That's like saying you know it's your fault I hit you because your car is bright yellow???  Dumb ****.  

About the babe thing.  I don't like other guys calling me that but my honey can call me that all he wants!!!

Answer 28

There's a serious "blame the victim" mentality associated with rape, and it's a horrible thing given that women already tend to feel a lot of pointless guilt after having been raped ("Oh, i should have done things differently, maybe if I hadn't __ he wouldn't have ___"). It's really disgusting. Rape is about power, not about s*x, and it's a terrible thing.

I've never been called "babe"; it's dying out with my generation. "Chick" is pretty popular, though, and it sometimes bothers me (depends on the context).

Answer 29

No, in my case, I was 15 and naive, but I did not knowingly endanger myself nor have any awareness of sexuality, let alone try to get sexual attention. My experience was the result of a 31 year old perv that was determined to take advantage of me. I was wearing a knee-length plain floral dress, with a longsleeve white top and white leggings...it doesn't get much subtler than that. Even if a girl dresses S****y or sends messages, she never deserves sexual assault. I have friends that ocassionally like to wear clothes that some would call promiscuous, and they like to flirt. NEVER would they deserve to be raped because some fool decided to ruin her for his own pleasure. Any man that decides he can take what isn't given to him willingly is a disgusting, vile thing.

Answer 30

She was asking for it!  --- Really when did she say please rape me!

no means no just because she wants to flaunt it don't means she wants a stranger to invade her!  being drunk doesn't say yes either!

lets say someone likes a painting..  they show it on a nice display case in the museum.. it's not roped off because you need to be some what close to see it.   it's on a nice turn table to rotate around so it can be seen from all angles (that is equal to a female dressed in nice clothing!

you don't just go and l**k the painting do you? no you don't!  

i don't mind being called babe!

Answer 31

Even if you were drunk and naked or decided to back out at the very last minute being raped can never ever be the  victim's fault  when it is forced and unwanted s*x.

Yes, there are things that can increase your chances of being raped - like being a woman, going on dates, having a partner, or living with a male relative (most survivors are raped by people who are known to them) but these factors (like being drunk) only increase the risk of rape not the responsibility.