Women giving husbands a second chance after finding out they were cheating..?

Question

If they cheated once, what makes you think they're not going to do it again? I read over and over where women are saying "he would never do it again and he's so committed to us now" - If you're not with him 24/7 do you really know? Also, do you want to track him 24/7. Why not just cut the cord and move on?

Answer 1

once a cheater...always a cheater

Answer 2

You have to ask yourself, can you ever trust him again? For me, that is a big fat NO! Without trust, there is no marriage.

Answer 3

If a man ever cheats on me, he's gone. I don't care how long I've been married to him. I don't care how much I love him. I will never trust him again. Without trust, there's no point in relationships. It just causes too much pain.

Answer 4

I'm sorry but women like that are stupid b**** what the h**l are they thinking of i don't get it either

Answer 5

I am pretty sure we are not all stupid b******.  I took my husband back because he seemed sincerely remorseful and sorry and I loved him very much (still do). I eventually got my trust back in him but 5 years later he did it again...but this time he has decided on divorce instead of asking for forgiveness. I wouldn't necessarily say that once someone cheats that they will do it again, but I do know that the chances are higher that they will.  Everyone is different.

Answer 6

All men aren't the same...it does not mean that if he cheats once he will do it again...thing is you have to trust...you have to believe in what he says, you can't judge him on the basis of other men...

I say give him a chance to make it up and if he screws up again, then he is truly out the door!!!

Answer 7

thats so true more times then not if someone cheats on you, it won't be the last time they cheat on you.. So if you stay with them whenever they "claim" it was a one time bad mistake and they will never do it again, then your the igorant one for believing it..

Answer 8

Sometimes with counseling a relationship is able to survive after cheating, we all make mistakes, cheating of course is a huge one, but you can learn from your mistakes.  If both are willing to work on it, I say why not give it a second chance, it's called forgiveness.

Answer 9

Once a cheater always a cheater especially if he knows that he can get away with it.  

Answer 10

I've never been cheated on (that I know of) so I can't speak for the women who take their men back.  But I try to be empathetic and think what is going through their heads?  Instead of calling them stupid bi***es I just think they must really be in love and also believe every word her man is saying.  Men can be really persuasive, especially if you are in love with him.  Also, maybe it isn't just the guy getting his rocks off, but a problem within the relationship that could be worked out?  I don't know, just a thought. :)

Answer 11

I would say because everybody makes mistakes and deserve a second chance is why they stick around.  If it is a marriage especially you do not just give up at the first problem, even though that is a major one.  I would say they get one chance and one only and if it ever happened again then that would be it.  It isn't as simple as them saying they won't do it again and the woman automatically believes them...there is a lot of work to repair the damage that has been done and to regain the person's trust.  Now if the woman is with some guy who has cheated time and time again and she still stays then I think she is nuts to stay with the guy and obviously has no self respect whatsoever to put up with that.

Answer 12

You have to look at WHY he cheated. Dont EVER ask questions like "was she better than me...prettier..thinner..younger" that will only destroy your delicate self esteem...seeing as it has already been damanged.

But...there is almost always an underlaying cause as to why he cheated. And it might not have been anything you did or could have prevented. the following are not justifications for cheating...just the most common reasons...

1. He could have been mad. he might have seen you flirting...or what he thought as flirting, with another man and thought that you could have been sleeping with him....so he takes the "whats good for the goose, is good for the gander" approch, and cheats.

2. he wants to get away from you because your clingy. nothing wrong here, but you might smoother him to much, and he just wants something new.

3. he needs an ego boost. maybe he feels unattractive, or you told him that he's ugly, fat, bad in bed, stinks...whatever, and he went to seek out someone to mend that bruise.

4. hes just a jerk. no reason, no meaning, he just saw a peice of tail...and got it.

but once your found the source, you have the power to fix it. if its a physical attraction....say on your end (ladies...yes, it does happen) this might be a GREAT excuse to get him to give you the credit card and get an expesive makeover..."But hunny...for me to look pretty..i really DO need those channel sunglasses!!" or even start to loose weight.

if its HIM thats the ugly one..this can be your chance to turn him into what you really want.

if its clingi-ness...not much to be said there...just find some friends and have a few girls night outs...with phone check ins..of course.

but...either way, there is no excuse for an unfaithful spouse...but if you love him, and want to make the marriage work, then its going to take time to repair the trust that was broken.

Answer 13

Unfortunately, there are men out there who gets cheated on and close their eyes to it over and over again.

I know this serious, but I'm going to use a cartoon to illustrate this:

On King of the Hill, Hank's friend Dale is married, but his wife always makes excuses to visit John Redcorn and in reality they are having an ongoing affair and have a son, but it's an ongoing inside joke because the boy looks just like John Redcorn. Yet, Dale is totally fatherly to him without any anger or bitterness.

I also know someone who had an affair and had a son who came from it doesn't look anything like the other two sons but the family stayed together and the father never left until he passed away.

So for some, it depends on the situation and some people would not be able to deal with it if they were to fully acknowledge the situation.

Personally, I would be done with the person because I feel like if a person has to be unfaithful and they're supposed to be in a committed relationship with one person, they really don't want to be there and they're being overly selfish. I say they should end it so that each person can find someone who is they are more likely to be happy with.