Women have their life agenda feeling what is ‘good for them’ is always ‘the right’ in any relationship, yes? ?

Question

From a young age women set about their agenda, and in the past men was taught to do things to make his woman happy

Yet when it comes down to her feelings and the mans feelings, its what she wants that she thinks is of important and will often bring emotional and illogical reasoning to win the case…

But why should men waste time doing what is right for them, with equality is it not better to move away from this thinking and ensure that our own agenda is served regardless of emotional pressure

I’ve noted that women think that because you have had s*x with them they then have the right to start changing your life, and the way you live, why? i tell them the s*x was NOT THAT good........

When you are able to live without any fear of any sort they have no hold or power. Right?

I’ve had a woman railing, ranting, crying and going on and on whilst I look on with keen but silent interest, and upon been asked if I’m not going to say anything, I said one word. BYE

In a world of equality is time for men to worry less about their rights needs and wants, they are doing fine, is it now time to really focus on the great and positive triumphs of being a MAN?

Answer 1

you make some valid points, and i have to agree. my experience with women seems to be similar. we have to keep them happy at all times or else we are some kind of monster, and they do use the most irrational arguments that have no connection with an issue being discussed. fact is it's not so easy to walk away when children are involved.

edit- women are the ones who generalise mostly, all men are the same blah blah only want s*x blah blah. fact is we are not interested in making our main aim in life to keep some indecisive nag happy.

Answer 2

And you are proud of treating people like that? If you are happy being a socilly inept slapper, whatever floats your boat.

Answer 3

What are the three things that a woman usually remembers from her wedding?

How the aisle in the church looked?

What the altar in the church looked like, overflowing with flowers

and the Hymn at the end

So she goes into marriage with an I'll-alter-him attitude.  Bad joke aside, studies do reveal that women usually seek to change their man far more than he seeks to change her, and this is where problems arise.  She may have goals and so on, but a marriage is about partnership, and he must be half of the united result, and there must also be give and take.

It comes up in speech too.  Women often use 'we' instead of 'me' or 'I'

We need to talk    means  YOU need to listen

We need this      means     I need this

"There is nothing wrong with me"     means   Of course there is something wrong and if you truly loved me, you would know why I am upset.

Truth is that the whole marriage thing these days is defined by what women want both from the actual wedding and after.  Men just have to turn up and say and do the right things.  My ex-wife was one of those who totally changed in the, literally days, after the wedding.  Her own family had thoughts on that  The idea that a girl will say anything the bloke wants to hear up to the wedding with the assertion that they can change the bloke after.  I would go so far as to say that men fall in love with a woman.  Women fall in love with their vision of what their man should be.

Answer 4

Some rant that was.  You must be exhausted.

Answer 5

Yes, women generally do expect everything served up to them on a silver platter. That's their inherent narcissistic and self-centred nature and probably cannot be changed.

As someone once astutely observed "it's in the nature of the beast".

Answer 6

Most women are selfish, and when they want something theres no point using logic to reason with them.

Answer 7

Why on earth would you get in a relationship with a woman who wants to change you and has no concern about what you need or want?  Why would you stay in a relationship if you have no concerns about what she needs or wants?

Doesn't that kind of defeat the whole purpose of a relationship?

Answer 8

Both a man and a woman should enter a relationship with some sort of agenda.  This should be established before the relationship begins, that way there are no misunderstandings. This is how you know that you are compatible.  It should not be one person following the other's agenda. Both should give and take from the relationship.  It is both the man and the woman's job to try to please each other by supporting each other in their endeavors and being loving towards each other always.  

Not all women are selfish and controlling.  If you try talking to them about what you want in the relationship before it begins, maybe they will understand where you are coming from, but don't judge all women from a few experiences you might have had.

Answer 9

I suggest you have this experience of women because this is what YOU do to women.

A man goes into a sunglass hut, he loves sunglasses and asks lots of questions and finds out some facts, the owner smiles and responds, shares a joke...the guy says he had a great day

Another man goes into a sunglass hut, he hates shopping and is uninterested, he becomes bored and stands waiting while the others he is with finishes, the owner asks if he needs anything, he responds rudely no, the owner walks off...This guy says it was a bad day.

WE affect our experience of things.

I suggest you save yourself and women some time and stop going into sunglass huts when you do not like sunglasses.

Answer 10

Your not the only one to notice this about a lot of women.

They don't even notice themselves becoming possessive.

Those that are of that nature wont admit to it. Those that say they think they are of a certain nature, in general try to make sure they are.

This sort of woman isnt worth time or effort, care or otherwise.

They have too many issues and/or are barely self aware - or are and are very conviving. Take your choice as to what exactly.

Concern yourself with your business than them.

Answer 11

"I’ve had a woman railing, ranting, crying and going on and on whilst I look on with keen but silent interest..."

Perhaps you should have given them their car keys back faster so they could get away from you quicker?

Answer 12

You seem to think, as do so many other males who frequent this category, that all women are identical to each other. Why do you think that. Do you think you are identical in every way to every other male? Are you incapable of understanding that women are human beings, thus, individuals, who vary?

Apparently so.

People aware of ancient history (everything before the 1990s), would know that mostly, women were expected to give up all wants and needs, and subsume everything to give the man what HE wanted. That wouldn't bother you at all, apparently. As long as everyone is interested only in what YOU want, all is well with the world. If women think they have any rights to any possibility of happiness, that's the problem.

There are selfish people of both sexes. There are those who think only of what they want, and think the other should subsume everything to that. Given that for most of history it was men who won that battle, it's absurd to blame women for wanting to control everything.

Among those who are genuinely HUMAN, both their own wants and needs, and that of the other are considered.

Among those incapable of genuinely HUMAN relations, it's all about "What's in it for me?"

Given that your post is all in terms of what's in it for YOU, it's ironic that you claim that all and only women are selfish.

If you're completely uninterested in a close relationship with any woman (which would include your interest in her well-being and happiness, as well as her being interested in yours), then it's good you realize that. There's no law saying you have to be emotionally involved with any woman. You don't want it. Do the female population a big favor and be clear and explicit about this, so no woman wastes her time on you.

But taking that stance, and then complaining that women object to your completely lack of interest in them as human beings, is just silly. Pick one: You are a human capable of a human relationships, including caring about the other person, or you aren't.

Don't pretend to be human, then blame the poor saps who think you ARE human for being sucked in.

When you want s*x, you can pay for it, or find a woman who's interested in s*x alone. You needn't mess up the lives of the actually human women just to get laid.

Be a man; be honest.

Answer 13

"...men were taught to do things to make his woman happy"?  What planet are you from - I want to go there.

"I’ve noted that women think that because you have had s*x with them they then have the right to start changing your life, and the way you live, why? When you are able to live without any fear of any sort they have no hold or power. Right?"  Right.  In my experience, men think that because you have s*x with them they then have the right to start changing your life" beginning with the woman not having s*x with anyone else.  Where'd that expectation come from?

"I’m advocating that men should, not put

THEIR feelings aside, not do the things that are not natural to them, see the woman as equal, and act like an equal"  I agree 100%.  enough of the game playing.  Men have to get real and so do women - only then will we begin to have real equality.  Females need not worry about being labeled a 'ho' 'w***e' 'tramp' 'beytch' or 'easy' and just do what they d**n well feel like doing - as I did.

Answer 14

I tell men if they are no good in bed.

Answer 15

Even if a man doesn't have a 'life agenda', they have an 'agenda.'

Often times the man doesn't tell the woman his agenda, which screws her over, and often times a woman *does* tell a man her agenda, which screws him over.

Isn't it fun!? We all get to suffer!

EDIT: I had woman and man switched wrong.

Answer 16

Too funny.  A man can sometimes say ANYTHING, change his behaviors drastically during courtship, lead a woman on, tell her she's "his girl", all just to get into her pants and when he gets what he wants he acts all bent out of shape when she expects him to follow through on intimacy and commitment as though SHE is trying to change him.  He's called a heart-breaker and you won't understand how that feels until a woman does it to you and then you'll be wailing and whining and blubbering and needing a restraining order to stay away from her and playing the victim and telling your pals about how she LIED and led you on and yadda yadda yadda.  I come right out on my first dates with guys and tell them that I am not interested in commitment, ever, that I'm only interested in no-strings-attached s*x and they STILL get all bent out of shape when I move on after I grow bored with what's in THEIR pants.  lol.  At least I've been honest. Just be more up front with women from the start and work on intimacy skills.  With true emotional intimacy both you and your woman will WANT to change in many ways, for the better.  Just don't pretend to make commitments until you're mature enough for that stage in life, after you get through adolescent developmental challenges successfully.  Then, look for a woman who wants to build something WITH you, not OUT of you.  And, don't make promises, directly or indirectly, that you aren't ready or mature enough yet to keep.

Answer 17

yes we should ensure that our own agenda is served. simple and true

Answer 18

Well, aren't you the self-assured macho male of the new age?  Actually, I was one of those ranting, crying women a long time ago.  Now I adopt the same silent treatment that you are giving the women.  I know where you're coming from.  Why waste your precious emotions on people who don't deserve it?  Just be emotionally detatched and move on.  Saves a lot of heartache.  

If us fems want equality then I must agree that it works both ways.  Women should try the silent treatment too.  Don't waste your breathe on someone who is not worth the drama.

Answer 19

Just goes to show you that we can't live with them nor can we live without them. Because if you don't cater to women... what's the alternative? Men! With all the emotional baggage and I feel this feel that logic... give me a woman anyday because I'm not going g*y for any guy.

Answer 20

I feel I am a very compassionate and giving wife, I would hope my husband would agree and I would hope a man (or women) would not marry or even date anyone they thought was selfish (having the characteristics you mentioned).  If you feel ALL women are as you say then it is best you become g*y.  But as I say "Absolutes are ignorant".

Answer 21

Lets see,  It sounds to me like what ever woman you where with (or is with) is either selfish, needy, or wants you to start showing the emotions she feels you should show someone you’re in a relationship with; and you don’t want too. It sounds to me like you’re still the type of young man that feels there is no need for him to be tied down with one woman (mainly the one you’ve been in a relationship with), and you just want to explore sexual encounters with other women. And that’s fine, by all means you have the right too. No one is holding you back; no one is making YOU do anything you don’t wan to do, much less forcing you to cater to someone else’s needs. If you don’t feel like you owe the woman you’re with anything, then leave. If you made it clear to her that you wanted nothing more than a casual relationship in the beginning then it’s her fault if she has changed the rules of engagement. If you feel like the best life for you in regards to relationships with women is to “love’um and leave them” then by all means knock yourself out. You’re a free man, no one is stopping you. And I understand you’re just voicing your opinion, in order to see how others may feel on the issue; but when it all comes down it not matter what we say it’s still your choice to be with her or not.

But, do not think for one second that you will be able to live the rest of your life this way. There will be a turning point in your life where you will have played all the games you’ve wanted to play with women, and there will be one that special one that you will want to settle down with. You may not believe me now, because I can tell by your reasoning that you’re still young and if that’s you in your pic, you’re in grate shape, good looking, and have no problems the ladies. So for now being emotionally attached to someone is not your thing.

But mark my words, you will meet a woman that you will fall for and will “give you a dose of your own medicine” (if it hasn’t already happened), or that will steal your heart and make you throw away that little black book. I’ve seen this happen to so many men in my life.  I’ve seen men have a different woman for every day of the week; still end up lonely and seeking love from a woman they can trust, respect, and talk too on an intelligent level. I’ve seen men (and some women, including me) build this wall around their hearts in order to keep anyone from getting in, or letting any emotions out. Only to have someone come along and crumble that wall through love, patience, and understand. And through out time I’ve watched them evolve and slowly but surely changed their through process towards the opposite s*x. And yours will follow suit as well.

Any man or woman that says they don’t care what anyone else thinks or feels much less care to be in a relationship is lying through their teeth.  You may or may not care about the feelings and needs of the person you’re with currently, but there will be a time that some woman will change your mind. And it maybe the one you’re currently with now, but because you’re so afraid of commitment and a relationship you shut her out as a means of keeping yourself from being “shut down”.  And I think the thought of your actions towards her right now is what’s weighing heavily on your conscious, and making you come to this forum with these thoughts to get the approval from others to set your mind as ease. I know for me personally, anytime I’m right I don’t bring it up as a topic of discussion in here. Because there is no need to discuss it. You know you care for that girl, or really want to have someone in your life to care for. But your fear of being hurt is what’s keeping you from finding the happiness you truly seek.  Let go, and let god my friend.