Women: how do you stop men on the street hassling you?

Question

am so goddamn sick of being hassled on the street almost every single effing day on my way to work, or while I'm trying to do my clothes at the laundromat, or riding my bike to get smokes from the corner store, or buying a fricking pair of socks at walgreens and being hit on by the cashier. When I get up in the morning and wait for the streetcar, I don't want to answer dumb questions about my relationship status from a stranger before I've had my coffee.

How do you respond to this c**p? I usually give them the finger as I walk by without slowing down, but sometimes I yell “f*ck off” as well. If someone is standing nearby and isn’t being too aggressive, I just say “Go away” or “Leave me alone.” But sometimes they will be really pushy, and they won’t leave me alone, and I’ve got this can of mace and I’m thinking about carrying it with me and just casually taking it out of my pocket when that happens. I’m not scared but I’m just fed the h**l up. What do you do???

By the way, in case you might think so, NO, it doesn't make me feel "pretty" or good about myself. It makes me feel like prey or meat. I'm not bragging. I'm asking for advice on making it STOP. If this has never happened to you you obviously don't live in a city or leave your house or car very often.

Answer 1

Simple as this... IGNORE IT. If they keep telling you your hot and hassling you. just keep walking and dont look back. thats what I do.  

Answer 2

Now you know how women make rich guys feel.

Wear a "this is what a feminist looks like" t-shirt.

Answer 3

Easy answer just say; "do you know who I am" with a smirk on your face like they are the most insignificant piece of c**p on the planet.  If they say no, say "well look it up, cause I'm way too busy to explain it to ya" then walk off.  If you meant how do you stop it from happenning all together, not easy.  You can do any of the things to make yourself less attractive listed above, but you might just change the type of guy who hits on you, not the number.  As someone who is pretty successful with women, I can tell you that I view dating as a numbers game.  The more women I am attracted to that I talk to, the more women I will meet who are interested in talking to me.  You never know if you don't try, right?  You also know that it is far more likely you will find a suitable match in your day to day life than at a bar or singles club.  For men (young men especially) dating is a massive part of our lives.  I think about it often and whenever I see someone who looks or sounds interesting, I go for it.  The worst thing that will happen is she will tell me to f**k off and pull out a can of mace right?  :-)  In reality, though you may find it annoying, this is just part of the dating process.  It is never a bad thing to have more options.  You just need to learn to use it to your advantage.  Sorry if any of this offends, I'm trying not to do that today.  Good luck and try to see the good parts of your situation.

EDIT:  Oh yeah I did mean to add something.  To the women who ask why men think women dress up for them, the answer is simple.  We as men only dress up to impress other people.  Whether it is our boss or women, we only go out of our way to look nice if it is to impress someone.  That's the reason we think you do too.

EDIT:  Misand-  A sign of interest is nice, but not absolutely necessary.  What if she's reading a book, paying attention to her shopping or doing one of a million other things which would necessarily mean that she didn't even see me?  So unless she gives me a signal that she definitely is not interested, I will approach.  However, I have never been a fan of the straightforward approach.  What kind of lazy line is "do you have a boyfriend?"  I'll usually talk about the book she's reading or the green beans she's buying or shoes she's wearing.  If I think I'll see her again, I might never insinuate anything further the first time we talk.  In reality, I don't think that women dislike being hit on.  I think they dislike the clumsy, genaric way that men often approach it.

Answer 4

I think it is sad that you are told to gain weight, dress frumpy or enjoy it.  I like what Rio said just ignore it if you can.  I do carry police level mace and I am so not afraid to spray the c**p out of someone.  I tend to dress down and/or keep a nasty look on my face when I don't want to be bothered.  

Its sad to think that some women find this complimentary... Of course if you ever noticed they are typically old women or young air heads with obvious low self esteem.  Its sad to know how many women need external approval to feel better about themselves...

Why is it then men think women put on nice clothes and make up for them?  Its not true we do it for us or because the event that we are going to calls for it.  

It also has nothing to do with confidence.  I am a very confident person.  I remember one time I was waiting at a bus stop, reading my book, listening to my music.  Some guy had decided to take a fancy to me and decided to pull over and ask me if I wanted a ride.  I told him no thank you very nicely.  He then pulled into the parking lot, got out of his car and came over to talk to me.  Constantly trying to get me to accept the ride from him.  As far as I was concerned their was something wrong with him... This is when hitting on a women goes to far.  Its not a glance, its not even a leer, its harassment.

As for the girl who said get a mohawk I say get real.  When I was younger I was so offended by the fact that being a women meant that I couldn't dress up with out being leered at or harassed.  I did change my appearance; I cut my long red hair short and then dyed it black.  I wore nothing but baggy black clothes.  I realized that these men (not all) had made me feel like I should mourn being a women just because I want to wait at the cross walk without being harrassed by lame questions, whistled at, etc...

Well imposter not all women dress up to impress men.  As for what you said I understand that but you can not possibly say you approach all women; that you don't wait for at least the littlest signal of her interest right?

Let the thumbs down begin...

Answer 5

Well it should make you feel pretty. Why don't you gain 50 pounds? I guarantee if you do you will miss all the attention. Have you ever stopped and considered what it is like for women who don't get hit on at all? Do you think they have it so much better?  

Be honest. If you hated the attention so much, you wouldn't bother making yourself pretty every morning. Why else do you do it?

Answer 6

Just tell them to leave you alone. If they don't, tell them again. Yell if you have to. It doesn't matter how attractive you are or how you're dressed; NO ONE deserves to be harassed.

Answer 7

Answer them politely, but puzzled, in a foreign language.

Answer 8

I generally ignore them but if they're really hassling me and I can't easily leave the situation (e.g. waiting for a train) the only solution is to get aggressive. It seems to be the only language some men seem to understand.

Some men are just idiots. Probably brought up by a weak mother and an abusive father. They watched the way their father acted towards their mother and think it is an acceptable way for men to behave.

Lol at the women (and men) saying it's a compliment. Their self esteem must be scraping the barrel. I know I'm attractive - I don't need attention from the local retards to prove it.

Troll Shark - you must have led a very sheltered life.

Answer 9

I don't get hassled, ever. I am used to glances and occasional stares and cat-calls, but nothing like you mentioned. Are you confident? Maybe if you present yourself in a more confident manner you will be taken more seriously. Sorry, I don't know what to tell you..as I can't relate. But I hope it's get better, that sounds very obnoxious and irritating.  

Answer 10

Interesting.  I have NEVER witnessed a guy being overly aggressive or pushy with a woman he just met.

Never.  not even once.  And believe me that I'm always paying attention to the world around me.

Answer 11

Your problem is insignificant. Mountain out of molehill

Answer 12

Get a mohawk where the sides of your head are shaved.

Answer 13

You can't unless you start dressing like a man.

Answer 14

i get the same thing dear... im hit on by evry creep... loser an slimebag in the area....  i just tell them to get lost...  if the creep wont take NO for an answer...  ill try thretening to get a restraining order on him...  an if he puts his hands on me...  ill give him a sharp elbow in the ribs...  a wack in the face... or worse...

Answer 15

I agree. Although it's mostly the Mexicans and 20 something construction workers who do this in my area...low class people who don't know how to treat a woman.

Ignore them. They only want to get a rise out of you. So giving them the finger, yelling at them, etc is doing exactly what they want...giving you attention.  

Answer 16

If you're not in a hurry, just tell them that you don't appreciate being addressed like that.  If you are in a hurry, yeah, saying fxck off seems to be the best possible option.

Answer 17

smell bad, look like c**p, and have a mean look on your face

Answer 18

I have news for you......you ARE a piece of meat. But do not be angry at me for saying this. I am a piece of meat as well. We ALL are. Men and Women alike.

If you do not like the unwanted attention so much, may I suggest that you do not doll yourself up? Dress more like one of those 1700's women that Anatol Kuragin is so enchanted with.

-The end

Answer 19

Well, if they get really pushy, you can buy a civilian strength taser. I think it's illegal to use police strength, but you can buy less strong tasers. But you should only use that if they're pushy. Don't just taser some guy for talking to you.

Or, you can buy rings that have mace in them. Like that one car commercial where the one presses her ring and sprays the car salesman in the eyes with mace.

Answer 20

Gain 50 lbs., I guarantee the catcalls will stop.  

Answer 21

You must be the most beautiful woman in the world because I've never heard of anyone being "harassed" to that degree.

All I can say is...Hey baby, gotta boyfriend?