Women: if a man said "Why aren't there any more good women out there" would you consider that a sexist remark?

Question

I see so many women talk a lot about "finding a good man" and things like that. What if you heard a man saying that about women? Would it be sexist? What would your reaction be if you heard a man say that?

Answer 1

I don't think it's a sexist remark at all. I think it's the remark from a man with limited experience with a wide variety of females. We're not all the same. We come in my different shapes, sizes, and colors. We come with varied educations, beliefs, experiences, outlooks, etc.

The same goes for women when it comes to looking for a man.

Insanity is doing the same thing over and over again expecting different results. -Albert Einstein

Unfortunately when it comes to dating, people in general are insane. We date the same people over and over again and do the same things over and over again but we can't figure out why we aren't getting anywhere.

There are a lot of good men and women out there. Some of them are taken. Others underestimate their worth or are stuck in a rut of repeating the same tired patterns and mistakes most humans make but can't seem to change.

Answer 2

Not if you are a cannibal in New Guinea.

Answer 3

I wouldn't find it offensive/sexist at all! Every man is entitled to a "good woman". What, are they supposed to settle for a bad woman? Aren't they supposed to find their wife attractive not only in the physical sense, but in personality and unselfish willingness. Women think they can change a men, but will never change themselves for a man. We each need to be pliable so that we can form to fit our spouse like a puzzle piece. You have to give a little to take a little. Everyone needs someone that compliments them and that thinks they are good for them. Men need good women as much as women need good men!

Answer 4

I've heard this said and I don't take it as sexist at all. Finding a partner is very difficult for both sexes...My reaction is just sympathy and encouragement...

Answer 5

Depends on where. In conversation generally: fine, Fictional charactor in conversation: fine. Commedian - ok, but he better have some good jokes coming up. Some form a social commentator or columnist, anyone being serious on TV - not so fine (but hardly the worst sexist thing, either). (In a similar way, complaining to your friends is fine, on TV it's slander... context determine how seriously you should take it).

It also depends on why. If they suggest a "good woman" has to be subservient then I will assume they are generally a sexist person, yes.

Answer 6

it can go both ways. i don't see any sexist remark in any of it.

Answer 7

Yes, it is sexist when both genders say it.

Answer 8

No, I'd just think they haven't looked hgard enough.

Answer 9

I'd mace him. Just kidding.

People who have been spurned are the ones who seem to say this, so I usually take is though they've been hurt recently and not to heart as a knock against either gender. It's when the male or female start talking nasty about the opposite s*x is when it gets sexist.

Answer 10

they aren't good at it

Answer 11

sad remark, stupid remark there are many possibilities than boring old sexist.

Answer 12

The truth is that most GOOD women end up with GOOD men.

If a woman can't attract a good man, its because she is not a good woman. But for women to understand that concept they would actually have to look at themselves and admit they are not perfect. A lot of women can't do this.. BUT the good women do it all the time. That's why they're good women.

Answer 13

Men and Women both make this remark. It is never meant to relate to the entire race of females and males, just a portion of each. Yes, it is racist and unfair.

Answer 14

One of my friends said that yesterday. I told him to meet more women, because they ARE out there.

Answer 15

I just had this conversation with a user called “daboys” about this comment. He recently made this bold and generalized statement in another question that was posed by 666666Z “What rights have men lost due to feminism?” (The link is listed below for your viewing). Many men do make generalized comments like this in an attempt to stereotype all women. Placing us all into a carefully constructed mentally-enhanced box that they’ve created to deal with anyone of the opposite s*x. It’s easier this way! They can place all women into the same group with out having to do the work it takes to get to know each woman as an individual. This way, they save themselves from getting close to her (she doesn’t get to close to him) and he doesn’t get hurt. Women do the same thing. It’s a mental defense mechanism brought about in a person’s sub-conscious mind that is later used as a weapon to deal with any future hurt that may occur.  Or it’s that “I’ll get you before you get me” mentality.

But the amazing part about this comment is, when you ask some of the men who make who feel this way questions about the relationship’s they have with the women in their lives (mothers/daughters/sisters/aunts); They always tell you how wonderful these women are and how their mom’s  worked two jobs and raised them without government assistance. Or how their sisters are college graduates employed in lucrative career’s and don’t depend on a man for anything. And the shocking part comes when you ask them their age, and they give you a range of ages between 25 – 60 (at least the one’s I’ve talked too off line) which to me indicates that they’ve lived long enough to know better. But I guess some fools never learn. They have all these stories of courageous women in their lives, but yet in still they find the nerves to fix their mouths to make such idiotic comments. And they fail to realize that the women they just spoke highly of are the same women they’re throwing into this box they’ve created to represent us all.

I wouldn’t say it’s sexist as much as it is both comical and ignorant. Both sexes play the blame game when there is something wrong with them personally. If every woman or man you meet has problems, then the problems isn’t with the opposite s*x, the problem is with you. It’s a possible character flaw in you  that attracts these women and men that leads you to believe that “there aren’t any good women/men out there.” Because there are plenty of men and women in the U.S. alone, who’re model citizens, treat people with the love and respect they ask for in return, and take care of their responsibility. But as I explained to “daboys” when your opinion of the opposite s*x is bias and you look for the wrongs in everyone that you meet within that group, you never allow yourself the chance to get to know these people for who they are and what they have to offer.  There are thousands of men and women who perform duties for the Peace Corps, humanitarian efforts, civil service to their country and communities (other countries), plan/organize/and participate in volunteer organizations, and who fight for our country and die on a daily basis. There are good men and women out there, we as people just have to be willing to open our eyes and ears to see them; and listen to them before casting judgment upon them.

Edit: I hate to say this, but Mike T isn’t as smart as he thinks he is. In my experience (meaning based on what I’ve seen) good women end up with horrible men, and good men end up with horrible women. This is the reason why the good guys and girls finish last. Because they get caught up in relationships with men and women who either mistaken their kindness for being weak, or use them as door mats because they believe in the saying that “there are no good men or women”. Good guys and girls are the people who’re (in my opinion) centered in their faith what ever their denominations may be, make an honest living, self-sufficient, takes care of house and home and most importantly are faithful.  But I’ve seen time and time again where men and women who’re demonstrate the characteristics all too often ends up hurt by the man or woman they chose to make their mates.  Very rarely do you see the good women end up with good men. And when you do see this, it’s after many failed relationships or marriages that fate brings the two of them together in holy union. But the past failed relationships are what helps a good man or woman appreciates the good man or woman god bestows upon them.

Answer 16

What! This is crazy, what'sa sexist about it. It's the truth.

Answer 17

It shouldn't be.. It should be a shove to be better than you are because that is the intent, us men want to respect and praise women but we want to do it honestly and not play you all.. now that is not sexist that is awesome!

Answer 18

I wouldn't say it's sexist I would simply say because you haven't had a woman like me.

Answer 19

I don't think it's sexist. The idea of a "good" woman differs according to each man, and it really just means a woman that particular man is attracted to. If I heard someone say that, I'd take it to mean that he's having trouble finding the right woman for him. It wouldn't tell me anything about what he thinks a "good" woman is like; that's the bit that could be sexist. Same goes for "good" men. :)

Answer 20

It's wrong to start with- because there are good people out there.   People just don't find each other.

Answer 21

well I'm female and i have not said that about a man, well first of all i would not find it sexist i would like to know what a "good women" is or a good man for that matter? i think when we talk about a good man we mean gentleman so if you consider that sexist i guess that's your opinion

Answer 22

Sexist, no, not necessarily. (It depends on what you mean by "good women".) Whiny and stupid, yes. The same goes for women who say it.