Women in your 30s can you give me a perspective on this?

Question

My younger sister whos just turned 21 hangs out with a woman in our neighborhood who is 31, and sometimes theres a third woman (another neighbor) who is 27 or 28, the 3 of them hang out together regularly.

Dont you think thats too big a gap for my sis to hang out with these women? Theyre both married but neither have kids. My sister is single. She goes shopping with them and they go to the salon and stuff, normal girly stuff, I guess its normal for a 21 year old to look up to other women who are a little older and maybe Im overreacting?

I know 21 is technically an adult though. Do you think she sees them as "Big sister" figures?

To women who are late 20s or in your 30s would you be comfortable hanging out with a 21 year old? do you see them as adults or do they seem a bit childish to you? cause they do to me.

Answer 1

I think it doesn't matter, they are just having fun.

Personally, I do find people 10 years younger than me a bit childish, they're simply in a different stage in life.. I have a steady job, a family etc. and most people I know at 21 are still studying and have other kinds of responsibilities.  

Answer 2

don't think there's any problem with that,i'm 29 and one of my good friends is 20. I have friends of all ages,some older,some younger. It doesn't matter leave her to have some fun with her girly friends :)

Answer 3

I'm 35 and most of my friends are younger.  Most are between 27-31, I think the youngest is 25.  A lot of girls my own age never want to go out, they're old before their time and just like to sit in at nights or don't want to go out without their husbands.  I still like to go out sometimes and enjoy myself and most of the girls I meet that like to do that are younger than me.   If they share common interests and have fun together that's all that really matters, age isn't important.  

Answer 4

yeah 30 is not old it is fine

Whats wrong r u jealous?

Answer 5

To be honest, it depends on the person.  I'm 34 and have friends of all ages.  I don't really see the age.  If you take away age, colour, size, religion blah blah blah and just see the person then I guess it makes a difference.  Don't get me wrong, there are situations which you have to apply some concern too when it comes to age but more in a sexual situation than a friendship IMO.

Answer 6

21 is still an adult and she can do whatever she likes to do.

Answer 7

to be honest, it doesn't really matter...

why do you care?

Answer 8

Im 38 and one of my best mates is 29.  We get on really really well.  We have been mates for about 10 years now.  I dont know what the problem is with your sis being mates with them.  They probably all get on really well.

Answer 9

well the way I look at this is and i am in my 40s the older women are feeding off your sister because she is young and they are at an age where they dread getting older so they hang with your sister to keep up to speed with  fashion and to keep themselves feeling younger. your sister on the other hand feels more grown up amd mature by hanging with the older women.

Answer 10

no there old enough

Answer 11

Sometimes people like to hang out with younger people because its can be very flattering. Younger people like to talk to older people who can tell them things they haven't known before. I really don't think there's too much wrong with what your sister is doing, she's probably just curious. However, it is nice that you are keeping an eye on her.

Answer 12

When I was 22 I used to go shopping with a woman from work who was in her 40s. We had great fun together and lots to chat about! If she had wanted to see me out of work every day i might have wonddered what her motivations were but as it was, it was perfectly fine.

She said I reminded her of one of her son's exgirlfriends, who she'd also been very friendly with. Don't be ageist but be aware. These women could be better friends for your sister than other 21 year olds who might lead her astray with drink, drugs etc.

Answer 13

I think you should let your sister have whatever friends she wants. Judging them based solely on age is absurd.  If they have a good time together, that's all that matters.

Answer 14

Im 35 and can honestly say that I dont see my friends as an age - if I like someone I like them for who they are not the age they are  

Answer 15

With respect, your being way to hung up on age, there are some 21 year olds who I would find really annoying to hang around with, but some women are very mature at that age, furthermore, 30something is not old, it's not even anywhere near middle aged, there isn't THAT much difference, specially when you are talking about friendship. Us 30somethings still like to go shopping and do all that girl stuff, I'm 32 and you couldn't prise my PS3 out of my cold-dead fingers ha ha.

So, as long as they are not weird, and they are just all friends, I'm sure that they are like big sisters to her, and probably a good influence. Your sister is lucky she has a good brother who looks out for her:)

Answer 16

Well as long as they are not getting her in trouble i don't a problem with that. I hang out with my sister in law who's 20 and I'm 30yrs old she actually acts very mature for her age.  

Answer 17

That's not good...because this women have some experiences and a way of thinking...and ur sister might loss her own chances...what if they have resentments or staff like that? I think for her is best to hang out with girls of her age...how is she going to know any one if she is very attached to this women?

And what if they will envy her ? at the end of the day she is young and pretty...what do u think their husbands think about ur sister?...she can get in trouble...

any way try to make her see that they might waste her time and youth...that she should not see them so often because then problems migth arise with the husbands...

Answer 18

No, NOT CHILDISH. Their women doing girl things. Whats wrong with that. If she was their daughter it would be the same thing. Just women going shopping and having their hair done. At least she's hanging around them and NOT doing something to get her in trouble.