Women raising a child = Right Man raising a child = Wrong?

Question

Now..I don't get it, a lot of woman complain that the father isn't in the picture and such but how come when men are in the picture, or single parents themselves, I see mother's mocking the man when he is in public by himself. I've seen women surround a man while trying to change his daughter's diaper (with ill sucess) because they thought he was MOLESTING HER.

There are other obvious problems when it comes to this issue but I want this one answered specifically. Is this just a crock of ****, double standard, or women just being hypocritical?

Answer 1

I've never seen any of this.  There's nothing unnatural about a father and child.  To see a man and child at a restaurant, airport, or mall doesn't have me assuming that they're the sole custodian, it has me assume that they're on a trip to the mall.  

In the case of single fathers, I see more empathy from women than anything else.  A woman's heart breaks for a family when they learn the mother is out of the picture.  A man changing a baby's diaper is applauded.  It doesn't have most women assuming anything other than the father is a real stepper-upper because most fathers back away from that chore.  

A child molester does not commit an act in plain view hiding behind a dirty diaper.  Where are you getting this?  This is really exaggerated.  And if it really happened, well then that woman was a jerk.  (Woman... not "women".  I quite doubt there was a whole crowd of female suspectors.)

To your point, a double standard does exist.  But not where you're putting it, rather, it's in the courts.  In the case of separated parents, the father often doesn't stand a chance.  It's not enough to prove he's the better parent, the mother has to be proven unfit.  The mother is always the default custodian.  Why?  This isn't fair to single fathers.

Don's case above is quite different.  A woman saw a man pulling a resistant crying child away from the park.  She freaked out.  Probably rightfully so.  Better to be safe than sorry, and it did look like an abduction attempt.  BUT PLEASE (both men and women) while you find this personally offensive, thank God it's happening.  What if no one ever questioned anybody?  Instead of being angry about it, why didn't you thank that woman?  She was looking out for a child... your child... a child she didn't even know.  Where's a gutsy woman like that when you need one?  Sure wish she lived in my neighborhood.

When my son was 3, he fell and knocked his two front teeth in.  It was a bloody mess.  We were interrogated in the emergency room.  After the 4th or so interview, my husband looked at me and said, why do they keep asking us what happened?  I said they want to make sure we're not beating him.  His initial reaction was to be angry and offended.  But I said to him, thank God they ask this stuff.  What about the poor kid who IS knocked around by his parents?  I dont mind sitting through this, if it's going to save another kid down the road.  After all, they don't know me.  It's tough on the ego, but for the greater good.

Sounds like you're having a bad-dad day.  That sucks.  Happens to everyone.  But don't lump all mothers together.  You don't want to be categorized or discriminated against, but you're categorizing us.  Pay it forward.

- - -

Thanks Texas Mama ;)

Answer 2

I think Mozz took the words out of my mouth.

Answer 3

I have seen it as well.  I think its c**p, its a double standard and yes, women being hypocritical.  I think it is a sad shame.

Answer 4

I think that if a man is raising a child alone more power to him.  I mean single moms do it all the time.  There is a reason that the dad is taking care of the child.  If he wants to take care of the child then there shouldn't be anything wrong with it.  Women just don't like to see a man taking care the the child because they want to believe that men a good for nothing.  but there are good men out there that would love to take care of their children.

Answer 5

I always felt for my father. He raised me on his own and so many women assumed that he didn't cook, clean, or child rear just because he was male. Then women would criticize because I didn't have a mom and that was going to turn me into some horrible monster since males can't raise females. It was ridiculous!

It seems a lot of women really are hypocritical.  

Answer 6

Some people are stupid. I, personally, am delighted when I see fathers and their kids getting along happily. It's a large part of what life is about, in my opinion.

Answer 7

I've experienced it myself and I think it's complete bull. I was at a playground one time and this woman gave me the evil eye every time our eyes happened to meet. I was just sitting there minding my own business, and when I saw it was time to go I got up and headed to the playground. My daughter had found a new playmate, so obviously she was very upset and I had to almost drag her away. Out of the corner of my eye, I see this woman flying at me, then suddenly she jumps in front of me with her hands on her hips, glaring at me with all her fury.

She began to scream at me at the top of her lungs, demanding that I hand over the girl, accusing me of trying to kidnap her. Finally, she whips out her cellphone and calls the POLICE. At which point, my daughter is in tears and is obviously upset by all of this woman's screaming, and she's trying to explain to the woman that I am her father and she was just upset that she had to leave her friend. Eventually it was all worked out, and I got to leave with my daughter.

Answer 8

i think women have an instinctual nature regarding this, it's not somethig we can help, i call it the "mama bear" syndrome.  once a woman has a child, something kicks in her brain that makes her hypersensitive to what's going on not only with her own kids but with other kids around her.  i don't think women should mock a man trying to change a diaper, that's just rude, they should be offering to help or minding their own business.  i've known several men raising children by themselves and they have a whole different set of challenges than single women raising children.  it's not a crock, a double standard or women being hypocritical, it's just the way we are hard-wired to nurture children.