Women what do you think of this?

Question

My friend and I were talking last night and she was describing yet another date she went on. While talking she said this,

"I know a guy isn't worth my time if on the first couple of dates he starts talking about how brilliantly successful he is. He tells me about the nice new home he's bought, the gadgets he's acquired and the places he's been. If a guy flaughts his money around like that it makes me feel as if I'm the next thing to purchase on his grocery list."

Is this true for you? Have you ever been on a date like this? If a guy started talking like this on a date would it bother you, would you be indifferent or would you like it?

Answer 1

Anyone who goes off like that isn't someone I would ever be attracted to. I have a good job and place of my own, I would never want to get with someone over the desire of material accumulation, because too many times I've seen couples do that and they end up splitting within a few years. So I prefer being single.

Answer 2

No, I've never been on a date like that, but I could imagine more than one reason a guy might go on like that.

He might be assuming that because I am a woman, I am automatically quite interested in the money and status of a prospective partner. Or maybe he is just going a little overboard making sure I know he's not a loser who lives in his parents' basement and sponges off them and expects his mother to do his laundry. (I think the latter is less of a money and status issue, and more of an issue of maturity and attitude.)

Or it might just be that he's a very materialistic guy.  Or it could just be that he got a raise and can't get over how much cool stuff his new salary allows him to afford.

Either way, I guess it's likely that I would find it boring or irritating after a short time, based on the description.

Answer 3

Sometimes I think men go overboard trying to empress a female. I understand your concern....If he has to brag to try to get your friend, tell your friend to brag back how she has a fantasy of; duck taping a guys buttocks together, while smearing lard on his body and then getting cupcakes and stuffing his mouth.....

That should teach him

Answer 4

I'd hate it. What good would his money and success be to ME? I want to make my own money; I want to live a spartan lifestyle; a rich guy is NOT in the equation!

Answer 5

Wow. Thank goodness I am not single.

Answer 6

I would just tell him that I was more interested in him, and not what he owns.  I would ask him about his thoughts and feelings.

Answer 7

EDIT: G@wd Tracey, that made me laugh, lol ... the mental image I got ...

~*~*~*~*~

Well, she was on the date so she would have a better idea if he was boastful or not, BUT he could simply have been telling her he is a secure guy with a sound background, good work ethic, etc, the type of guy who is ready to

"get serious".

Or, as she said, he could have just been ticking the list and found an empty box beside 'suitable trophy wife'.

A lot would depend on the individual person, I guess.

PS: Yeah, first date would be a red flag, but third date ... maybe more 'getting serious' time? Again, a lot would depend on how he dealt with other stuff and his general personality.

Cheers :-)

Answer 8

I'd think he was a sad loser who had no personality or real accomplishments to recommend himself, so he has to turn to talking about the pile of junk he's accumulated to try and get laid.

Answer 9

I would think he was full of himself, and therefore, I could never accomplish anything that mutually impress him.  We all need to feel important to someone, and people who can't see past their own accomplishments are big turn-offs to me.  That is my opinion.

Answer 10

I think it would also depend on other factors (what else he talks about, how he treats me and others, if we "click", etc.) but if this was over several dates I would be okay with it.  If he crammed everything in like a resume I would be turned off but still depend on the other factors to truly assess how I feel about him.

Answer 11

No, I wouldn't like it.

Answer 12

I've never dated a guy like that but yes I would hate an a*****e like that. To me it seems like he's trying to buy your affection which isn't exactly flattering.

Answer 13

I haven't been on a date liek this but yes, if they are vain and boastful then they aren't worth knowing in my opinon. My response would be - that's great, so how much charity work did yuo say you did lately??

Answer 14

Hi Shamu ...

I wouldn't think he is an a**hole, but I must admit that I would be turned off by all that talking.  I much more prefer a man who can SHOW me what he's done for himself over talking about it.  I don't trust words more than I trust concrete evidence.  I would find him to be a braggart, and nothing more.  

I have dated a man who bragged all of the time, and I'm not dating him anymore.  There's some concrete for ya'.

Answer 15

it's that Men are from Mars and Women are from Venus.

Men when describing themselves will identify themselves according to their occupation and what they own.

Man-"I am a doctor and have a house in the Hamptons."

Women often describe themselves according to their relationships and activities.

Woman-"I am a mother of three and I like to do crafts."

If you can get past the "icebreakers" than an interested man or woman should be able to go deeper and talk about themselves.  Be patient and once the guy goes through his laundry list, then ask some open ended questions.

"What do you like to do after work?"

Sometimes when the guy goes through his laundry list, it's also because he his nervous and doesn't really know what to say.  Think of it like this:  He's acting like he's on an interview and wants you to know he's the best man for the job.  

Usually i find it takes 2-3 dates before a man will let you see his "true side".

Answer 16

Before I met my husband I had went on a date that went like this. Instead of getting upset I asked if he thought that I thought those things were important. This led to an extremely interesting conversation about how dating is viewed in this day and age. We actually dated for almost a year before he took a job out of state. We keep in touch in fact, he was a nice guy, just had more to learn about the dating scene is all.

Answer 17

I find the whole idea of pre-planning what should be talked about  when troublesome.  The best shared times are when you melt out of ego into communication in s**y engaged sharing of ideas, images, dreams, fantasies.

Life stories work their way out in a fascination of getting to know a new person spiritually, emotionally, intellectually and the physical intimacy follows as a natural progression to that.

And if it's not happening that way, then you are selling yourselves short.  No matter what "number" date you are upto.