Women who have had an abortion?????

Question

How did you deal with the guilt/pain/regrets after wards???? I got 1 on friday & I'm having a hard time dealing with it. Any advice??? I also don't have a strong support system. I'm not a believer so please don't tell me to pray. What are some things that helped you deal with it???? Thank you 2 every1 for the answers I greatly appreaciate it!!!!!

Answer 1

Just think the guy that you were with... would he be there for you and that baby?? Would he Marry you, support you? Ok that will help you move on... just think everyday that your not hurting you or your baby if you kept it. It's hard everyday and its going to. NOTHING will take it away. You have to move on. and be strong. You make that choice in life and now deal with it.When you think about it... it's like it happened but didn't, you hear voices, and hear the vac going off, but inside you wanted SOOO bad to stop. But you knew that it was your choice, and not someone elses. They treated you like c**p then your there, and protested, but you knew that it was your choice. I don't look at you bad, My sister had one 7 weeks ago, she was 4 months pregnant, I hear her cry all the time, she told me what it's like. Don't have one again please. It's not a form of birth control, get the pill ok. Protected you, your man it's going to take that step. YOUR life! Don't get caught with a STD or anything, your a women not a little girl or a piece of meat. Be respected not used!!

Answer 2

There are usually counselors available where you had the procedure done.  I would discuss your feelings with one of them or find another therapist to talk with.

Answer 3

I found talking to anyone about the situation helped greatly. Whether this be a stranger, a partner or a parent.

Time will ease the pain, as you did what you had too. Accidents happen unfortunately.

Anyways, if you need someone to chat to here is my email - [e-mail]

Answer 4

My mom was forced to have one on her 16th birthday by her parents. This was back in the 1970's. She said she did not want one but her parents made her get one, which back then the doctor would do one if your parents made you. She said she thinks about it everyday and said she wishes she would have just ran away rather than kill her baby. The regret will be with you forever. No amount of praying will fix it anyway. What has happened in the past is nothing you can control today. I say to keep your legs shut and never get another abortion. But fixing what has already happened is out of your hands. I hope you never forget because when you forget you may consider another abortion.

Answer 5

If you really want to know how I dealt with it I'll tell you.  I prayed.  I know you don't believe in it, but honestly that was the only way I got through it.  I had an abortion 10 years ago and felt all the pain and guilt that I know you're going through.  It was horrible.  I broke down one night, ripping my hair out, and collapsed.  I just sobbed and prayed.  I felt this weird calm come over me and it physically felt like God had placed that baby in my arms.  I realized that God had forgiven me, but that I needed to forgive myself.  It's taken years, but I've finally come to a place where I've forgiven myself and though I still cry about it sometimes, the pain has lessened tremendously.  I will always carry the remorse but I promise you, give yourself time.  You will come to a place where you forgive yourself too.  You'll never forget, but it will get easier.  Even though you don't believe, why not try saying a prayer?  It couldn't hurt, right?  

Answer 6

I had one a long time ago.  It is very hard to deal with and I am still not over it 8 years later.  I was going to have one with the one I am pregnant with now but I couldn't do it.  I kept on hearing the vacuum from the first one I had and I broke down.  I had to go to counseling and it helped some but not a lot.  If you want to talk please email me.  

Answer 7

Keep in mind your body is going through a lot right now. Hormones are going crazy because you went from being pregnant to being not pregnant in a very short amount of time. So one thing you can do is keep in mind that a lot of the emotional stuff will pass as your body settles down. While it might not rid you of those feelings, it's nice to know that there is an end or that at least things will get better.

Another thing you can do, if in fact you are feeling guilty or regretful, is to talk to someone who isn't going to judge you. The biggest mistake you can make is to talk to someone who is super pro-life. They tend to be a little less understanding than say a woman who has been through it before or a professional. If you have a close friend you can talk to or a relative, great. If not, you might want to think about contacting your doctor to get referrals for people who deal with this type of thing all the time.

Hope you feel better. Be strong.  

Answer 8

How I dealt with it:

Pain- Pain reliever (prescription from the dr.)

Guilt- There was none, the embryo did not have a heart beat and thus was not a person.  Don't let people guilt you, though they will try.  If you're not a believer, why do you feel guilty?  After all, it is my God that said though shalt not kill. (even though you didn't bc it wasn't living yet.)

Regrets- I have none.  If I would have given birth, then I would have something to regret, both for my life and what would have been a baby.  It wouldn't have been fair to it or myself.

If you don't have a strong support system in your family, try forums and groups.  You would be surprised at how many women feel the same.  I think it's funny how people that call themselves Christians spend their time condemning the choices people make that they disagree with rather then providing you with God's word and how great he wants your life to be.  HE forgives you everything if only you ask and if you don't feel like you need to ask for HIS guidance, that's between the two of you.  I wouldn't have made it through the persecution people are more than willing to offer without him but if a support group sounds more appeasing to you, go for it.  They are there.

Good luck!  :)