Women would you have a problem?

Question

I have 3 kids, 2 girls one boy...my oldest girl is 5 and we are having back talking problems, her real father always would confront me when i punished her so she thinks her daddy will come save her. He and i split a year ago but she still acts like what i say doesn't matter. What can i do to stop this before its too late

Answer 1

take some parenting classes -you need to remember who the parent is in your family.  quit using past problems as an excuse.  deal with negative behaviors quickly and rewards positive ones.  get counseling for yourself.

Answer 2

i think you should talk to her father about doing that, and ask him to say things like dont talk to your mother that way, my mom has the same problem with my sister, and my sister has been doing it since just about that age, now shes 13, but the only reason why she does it is because my father tells her not to listen to my mom, so i think you should talk to her father and get her father to talk to her, cause obviously she'll listen to him

Answer 3

Honey I've worked in a school for 23 years and here's my advice: I'd make a chart and  list all the things that she does and doesn't do ( make bed, takes out the trash, don't talk back, feeds the pets and things such as this). Everyday that she does her chores or doesn't back talk I'd give her a sticker for each job. I'd get two banks one for you and one for her. For every sticker she gets I'd give her a dime or a nickel ( whatever you can afford). For every one she doesn't get I'd put the money in my bank. The main word is be fair, if she really doesn't deserve a sticker don't give her one. You have to be consistent. Children are so competitive she'll never let you get a dime, I promise. Good Luck!!!!!!!!!!!

Answer 4

i time out chair is a good idea, or revoking privledges backtalk=no t.v. for the rest of the night if she has a hissy fit, straight to bed...never go back on your word!

Answer 5

Give her time out in the corner whenever she talks back. Be consistent with her and don't give in.

Answer 6

That is tough when one parent does not support the other in disciplining a child.

I guess I would take her somewhere public like a park or McDonald's... away from the distractions of home... or places to hide just tell her

     "you know honey, i am your mother and you know i want to do the best job i can raising you to be a strong responsible person. You are a great daughter but even great daughters need help learning to behave sometimes. You have to stop talking back to me. If you don't then..." and insert your own consequence (no TV for the day, no going to so and so's house) whatever is a privileges for her. Make sure you pick something you can live with. Do Not say "no TV for a week" or something like that if it will drive you crazy.

When she does talk back, just stand calmly in front of her and raise your hand. Do not talk back or engage her. "Honey, no back talk. Honey, I am reminding you no back talk". If she continues, punishment.

  Kids are really smart. Looking her in the eye lets her know you mean business. Follow through with whatever consequence you decide and be prepared to stick to your guns. Once or twice and she'll get the message.

Good Luck!

Answer 7

Time out. She will eventually learn. Get a special chair in your house. And if she back talks. Put her there. If she refuses. You should put her in her room, and lock her door. or put a gate in front of the door or something. It will eventually get to her head "hey, maybe i shouldn't do this..."

Answer 8

As a parent, you must take control.

Disobedience will lead to serious things when your child gets older.

You need to act now while she's still young and also you need to talk to your ex husband. He is partly to be blamed

Answer 9

You should never allow these confrontations to take place in front of your kids.

Answer 10

You have to be consistent and she is testing you. Time out works well with 5 year olds and have a certain spot for time out and have her sit for 5 minutes when she is back talking. Explain to her that you are the mom and she is the child. She has to listen to you because the law says so.

Answer 11

Im not like a married person  but i suggest children phycolgy or whatever...like  a person to help you out that well find where the reall prb is coming from. Hope that helps

Answer 12

I was taught by my counselor that you need to let them know that you are in control and not them. Do not have a conversation with her. When you tell her something that is it. You have and are the first, final and only word. When she doesn't listen and back talks depending on situation punish her accordingly. Trust me it will not change over time. It will take months. But remember it is definitely easier and more practical to deal with it now them when she is in her teenage years. Sometimes a good smack on the butt helps too. But not always.

Example: my daughter is four and tells me all the time that she can't pick up. So i have this tub that i put all the toys in that she refuses to pick up.  She can't have the back until she earns them back. And if I take all the toys away then so be it.  

Eventually they will learn. All kids are different. Kids know how to manipulate us to get what they want. Think about what you normally do and try to do something that is completely different. Kids do things to get our attention. Its all about the follow through and the discipline. I know its hard being a single parent. Good Luck

Answer 13

uh oh, lighten up if you are too harsh, but if she is not listening, at those specific times, be STRICT!

Answer 14

I had the same problem with my mother. Confront her father and tell him whats going on then get you, the father and the child together and sit down and talk about it if that doesn't work I had to go to family councling..

Answer 15

You have to have praise and consequences.

She can "earn" something for good behavior.  Star charts etc.

She can lose things for bad behavior.  Find her "currency".. in other words, you have to take something she finds valuable.

My girls are 17 and 14.. their currency would be their cell phones lol

Good luck and good on ya for trying to stop this at a young age!

~~Lisa

Answer 16

Sit her down and tell her that everything she does has an effect.

Then explain that if she does good things, mommy will reward her. Same goes for if she doesn bad things, mommy will punish her.

Don't hit your child though, it screws up their mentality about their mother or father.

children are usually emotionally attatched to their mother, so she should understand you above all else.

Answer 17

Keep punishing her, but stick to it. Tell her that she needs to listen to you and have respect for you. Continue telling her every time she doesn't listen to you. Good luck!

Answer 18

Be firm. People can only walk over you if you let them. Stand up for your self.

Answer 19

bust her butt and let her know you're not going to put up with backtalking!

If you dont believe in spanking then make her sit in a time out and think about why she's there....that will get her a long way in life....if she doesn't figure out that backtalking is wrong, then she will surely end up with a nice loser who abuses her for backtalking him!

Answer 20

Tell her that what you say matters and that she should litsen to you. I hope this helped!

-Tara

Answer 21

i would sit her down make sure she knew the rules tell her this isn't her dads house and that things are going to be diffrent. Let her know what the punishment for back talking and not doing what she is told will be then inforce it each and every time. Once she see that you really mean it then she will calm down. Having dad who all ways steps in doesn't all ways help and then with you spliting up I am sure she is having problems geting use to that to. Tell her that whatever the rules are at her dads house are the rules there but this is how it is here and this is what you expeact from her at your house.

Answer 22

Talk over what you both consider to be reasonable disciplinary tactics.  It is the child of both of you, you have just as much say as he does.  If she back talks, she needs to be taught it is wrong, it can lead to some serious disciplinary problems with authority figures at school.  Soon she'll back talk to the teacher and run to daddy thinking its OK.

So, talk over what is reasonable discipline and start before it's too late.

Answer 23

take her to the Maury show, or beat her a.. till she is obedient

Answer 24

spank her butt!

Answer 25

you need to wear the pants and let her know who is she to obey. kids need discipline, they're begging for discipline, make her sit in a corner or else until you say so whenever she disrespects you, if you dont, next time around she'll be pregnant and with a tramp stamp on her back, mark my words.

Answer 26

You are her mother.  There is nothing wrong with spanking as long as you don't beat the child. If your daughter is sassy and back talking give her a spanking. You don't have to hit her hard but let her know it will not be tolerated. When my sons acted up I would leave them behind literally. I would not let them go with me. When they asked me why I would tell them it was because of their mouth and I would not tolerate such disrespectfulness. My son got tired of being by himself and missing out that he straightened out.