Women: would you marry a man who kept a separate residence?

Question

In a relative's name, you don't have keys. You are fee to do the same if you can afford it. To maintain independence.

Answer 1

My answer would be No unless husband was an artist/writer.musician who needed a studio. A man who went into a marraige with a hidy-hole in the background  would not strike me as a man who was totally invested in marriage. Both parties would be better off if he just kept his toothbrush and clean underclothes at his girlfriend's place.

Answer 2

No not at all. Having a second home where only you have keys to is not the only way to independent; its being free to do what you want when you want. Now if it was a must that he keep another residence for other reason (which I cannot think of any) I as his wife will need to have access. Not because I am a nosy Person, but for all I know this other residence could be used for purposes that could destroy my family and my marriage. If he wants to maintain Independence tell him to go out a lease a Vehicle and make the payments on time every month. Or take it upon himself pay the bills in the house. Do his own laundry. There are many other ways to be independent and married.

Answer 3

Any woman that would have a major issue with it is too clingy, needy, and dependent.  

If she loves you and is not the dependent clingy sort she will support it and won't complain about not having access to it.  That's an independent woman.

Answer 4

Even if we live together I will always have my own house for whenever I need to get the away from her for a few days or weeks.

These traditionalist women need to move into the 21st century.   Having your own place is one of the best ways to keep your independence.

Answer 5

No.  I think if a man wants to waste money on a separate residence so that he can feel as if he is maintaining his independence then he can just keep his independence and I will find a real man whose independence is with in him and not based on his material possessions.

Answer 6

Lol, I'd love it - just can't get a guy to agree to it.  It's not that I don't want them around, I just always had my own room, and I think space can be healthy if its the right thing for both people :-)

Answer 7

I'm not very good at living with other people, so I guess it would be OK. But if he never wanted me to spend the night (or even the day) there, I'd have more of a problem.

Answer 8

Actually, a new trend for married couples is separate bedrooms. That way, they don't have to deal with each other's snoring, uncomfortable bed sharing, different hours of wakefulness, etc. They say it leads to healthier marriages. Too bad most of us can't afford it.

Answer 9

That's always been my dream!

But frankly, you need a fair amount of wealth to maintain two nice houses.

So we can't afford it.

If we ever win the lottery, this could be on the cards!

Answer 10

Nope, why get married if you want a live like that?

Answer 11

nope.

my husband and i hardly spend enough time together already, and we LIVE together.

Answer 12

Is this all the same guy?  She doesn't even have keys?  Does she even know where it is?  

Can you spend a few weeks there when you get sick of her and she can't just happen to stop by to check to see if you're alone?

I want to be him.

Answer 13

If they had an entirely separate house that I didn't have keys to.. no, I don't think I'd marry them.  That entire situation sounds like a couple who are still dating.  I'd marry them to be with them.  It's possible to maintain independence and maintain an attachment to loved ones at the same time.

Answer 14

I have my own room in our apartment and sometimes that's not soo good. He comes and sleeps with me if he wants or sleeps in his own room because he likes to stay up and I don't. Even this, I feel, will slowly put unecessary space between us. We used to do everything together and now, here it is. So I don't think a separate residence is the best way to go if you want the marriage to last.

Answer 15

it would be fine with me. even in marriage sometimes people need some personal space. i wish i did have my own little getaway like that.

Answer 16

No, what kind of relationship would it be? Being married is about finding your soulmate whom you want to be with every minute of the day.

Answer 17

why get married?  if this is what you want...just stay bf/gf

There are other ways of "maintaining independence" then living separately and have separate bank accounts.

Answer 18

No, it's not practical, unless you just want s*x and not a family life.

Answer 19

Um I couldn't help but wonder--call me paranoid. what is it, a love shack? lol. a room for yourself in the house is fine to me, but an no-key residence i'm not too thrilled with. plus if they get angry or whatever they can run off there instead of working it otu

Answer 20

I used to think that I wanted my 'own space' if I ever got married.  Having lived alone for over 20 years, I thought I would crave my own space for watching tv or just hanging out on my own.

When I moved to my husband's house, he was aware of this....and converted a garage to a lovely apartment - fully furnished and equipped with bedroom, living room, bathroom and kitchen.  Amazingly, I have no interest in spending time there - so now we have a wonderful spot for guests!!