Women: would you take this as an insult or a sign of respect?

Question

your at a formal setting, an office meeting lets say and its mixed, men and women both.

you, a woman, meet with the other men in the room and shake hands with them. when you approach a certain brown skinned man, you politely extend your hand only to be rejected by this:

"im sorry madam, out of respect for you and your spouse/bf i cant shake your hand. i want to restrain myself from unintentionally or intentionally having bad thoughts about you, please excuse me."

of course your situation would be awkward at that point, but how would you respond? would you move on to the rest of the men in the room? would it distract you from your tasks ahead? would it make you curious as to what way of life he follows?

men, the same question but gender switched..

Answer 1

He may be muslim, and in his culture it's wrong to shake hands with a woman, But he may also be attracted to you.

Answer 2

I would then ask...'' is this due to your cultural upbringing and your religion that you make this statement as I have no problem shaking your hand..  if he told me that his culture doesn't allow it..I would be satisfied with it and not see it as a personal insult.. just a cultural difference and smile at him and nod and say ''I understand'' and move on to the next guest...

Answer 3

Brown skinned man? I think it's a part of his culture not to even touch another woman, I'm from that same culture. He doesn't even mean it as an offense because he addressed you so politely.

Since I understand where he is coming from, I will just say sorry, hello, and move on like nothing just happened.

I don't strictly follow my culture but I just know his intention, so who am I to question his lifestyle? It's not my prerogative to judge a cultural practice from any other foreign culture [as long as there is no force from either party]

Answer 4

The man is a Muslim.  They're not supposed to shake hands with the opposite s*x.  And for exactly the reason the man gave in your story.

Answer 5

ok, i am at a formal meeting, it is part of  my job to be there?

ok i  try to shake hands with this 'brown skinned man' (who does colour matter to?)

He rejects me,

I am totally offended, shaking hands is a totally friendly approach in the Uk, if he dont want to shake, ok, he can just get lost as far as im concerned. Why would you have bad thoughts about me? for gods sake, im shaking hands because im friendly, if you dont want to you can p*ss off, im not bothered .If you want to insult me, thats your problem not mine.

ps im a 'white skinned female'.

Answer 6

I would respect his beliefs, and I don't think it would distract me through out the meeting but I would give it some thought.  It would throw me off at first but I wouldn't feel negatively toward the person.

I do think the wanting to restrain himself from bad thoughts part is a little too much information, It would serve him better to stop at out of respect for you and your husband part.

Answer 7

i would just forget it. why think about the past. life goes forward, not backward. and besides its so complicated.

Answer 8

Maybe let him know its Ok and thanks for the honestly as most men who cant control their sexual lust are not as honest about it.  At least now I know where any immoral behaviour is most likely going to be coming from.

In my eyes its rude.

Another minority expecting understanding in the community yet not practicing it them self.