Wondering about the FIRST day of college.?

Question

Hey everyone.

Some prior information:

I'm about to become a freshman at a private, liberal arts university. The admission counselors take a whole week to match up all the students that need room mates according to a questionnaire- questions like when you sleep, what purpose your dorm room would serve (like for example, a place to rest, a place to study, or a place for social gatherings), what type of music you listen to, what do you want in a roommate, what are some things about yourself that you're trying to improve, what are you proud of. Stuff like that. So they've matched me up. Yay.

So I email this soon-to-be-my-roommate back and forth, just doing the small talk stuff- where you're from, what do you like to do, what type of music you listen to (you don't get to see your roommate's questionnaire answers), pets, all that generic stuff. I know the shallow water stuff.

So the questions:

I am really scared truthfully about my first day there- what do I say to her? How can I approach her and talk to her so I won't sound like a jerk? (I don't want to give her a bad impression on the first day- she'll be living with me for a year) What do I talk to her about? I know you don't HAVE to become best friends with your roommate but geez, we'll be living together! We're pretty much strangers and we're going to sleep in the same room- that is a bit scary for me... and also, a dorm room is really small so our beds are practically next to each other... so when we get ready to go to sleep, there is that moment right before sleep that you aren't asleep... so... like what do I say? What is a good starter question? I'm really afraid of awkward silences! Will we/ should we be practically talking the whole time?

Also, if anyone can give me advice about small talk and sort of making friends in college, that would be great.

If you could leave your first day at the dorm with a roommate you don't know, you are welcome to share! I would love to hear stories and advice.

Thank you!

P.S. I'm a girl- and Asian-American girl at that. :] My roommate is Caucasian girl. Unlike most Asians I know, I'm totally chill with having a Caucasian roommate.

Answer 1

Your key phrase is "I'm totally chill"..you're going to be fine! Introduce yourself--decide who gets which bed, or if she's there ahead of you and has already chosen, let it be fine with you. Don't start with any petty squabbles. After putting away your things, suggest a stroll around campus and find your class buildings, where the canteen is, etc, and compare your class schedules. Find out who has to get up first. As for friends, join clubs! Especially if there's one attached to your major. If she's already claimed the desk, go to the library to study, I always preferred it there, anyway. All the reference material I needed, and those helpful librarians!  If she's  a PIA, don't sweat it-she may flunk out or you may find someone else to room with next semester. If you do,see the RA before the end of semester to set it up for next semester. Don't worry about awkward silences at bedtime-if she's quiet, she may be thinking about an assignment, or daydreaming-or already asleep! Any way,don't feel you have to chat constantly.