Words of Wisdom when a relationship clearly isn't working?

Question

I've decided to sit down with my husband and tell him that its not working out between us, however I'm not good with words, and he usually gets really defensive. So I'm curious of how I should go about this and what I should say, and how I should bring it up? Without giving all the details, we've really drifted apart, I'm tired of him getting mad at me over seriously simple things, the more he does these things the more a little piece of my heart fades away for him. He only touches me when he wants to have s*x, I don't even get a goodbye kiss anymore, and with this feeling our s*x life pretty much doesn't exist anymore, so its a never ending cycle, he'll get mad at me for this and won't talk to me for days, but when I try to discuss the issue, he states "its just the way I am". Any words of advice?

Answer 1

Strict integrity always brings evolved results

Answer 2

I have a feeling you didn't put in things about you I think your doing things that would p**s any man off.  I would like to hear his side of the story.  

Answer 3

I wish I had the answer for you but my wife is just the same way. And it is killing me. Makes me feel like I am a begger for affection when I am starved.  

Answer 4

those dumb advices "sit down and talk with your spouse" make me laugh. yeah,right, u sit down and talk to him with whatever magic words and he will MAGICALLY change and become a real gentleman and a prince. all your problems will  just disappear after u sit and talk to him. yeah, right

Answer 5

heart to heart if no change then you guys may have to part ways.

Answer 6

Something needs to change.  Usually, some big shock needs to kick in that will set off enough alarm bells that he'll realize that something must change.  You need to just tell him, "Our marriage isn't working anymore and we need to do something to save it."  The subtle hint there might catch him.  

I've been there.  At seven years in, my wife and I were hurting, caught in that same trap.  My wife had an affair, something that was awful and difficult to deal with on many levels.  I woudn't go there if I were you, but you might consider a seperation to wake him up.

If you have kids, this will get much more complicated.  

Answer 7

I bet if you asked him if he was happy in your marriage he would say he was.  It sounds to me like your marriage has become more of a habit than a marriage. he was made to comfortable in the marriage,  you have accepted to much of his c**p over the years and he expects you to keep putting up with what he deals out.

I wish I had a answer for you, talking, maybe but he probably will not really listen to you.  he may try to change maybe it will last a few days.  but it will go back to the same old thing.  he does not take your feelings or needs in to consideration at all.  I am sure he is a very selfish person.  he thinks every thing revolves around him. it is his world and you are lucky to be in it.  

wouldn't you like to just slap some sence into him.  make him feel what he has done to you.

Answer 8

o MY GOODNESS!!! me and you should be best friends because I am going through the SAME THING. I have been married for 8 months and my relationship is so dry and i'm so lonely and unhappy its crazy. But you know what keeps me going? I know i made a vow to stay married. i think you should try to work it out. By you writing this means you still care. I cant give you any exact answer because i need the answer to so i guess i need help too. Most guys arent like us. My guy gets real defensive when i try and talk to. We NEVER HAVE s*x. he only pays me attention when he wants special attention(u kno what i mean) but jus wana say dont give up if you really love him. if you stay good to him he will realize he better get it together because he has a ggod thing going.