“Competitive Salaryâ€Â
=We remain competitive by paying you less than our competition.
“Join our fast-paced companyâ€Â
=We have no time to train you.
“Casual work atmosphereâ€Â
=We don’t pay enough to expect that you will dress up; a couple of the real daring guys wear earrings.
“Some overtime requiredâ€Â
=Some every night and some every weekend.
“Duties will varyâ€Â
=Anyone in the office can boss you around.
“Must have an eye for detailâ€Â
=We have no quality assurance.
“Career-mindedâ€Â
=Female applicants must be childless (and remain that way).
“Apply in personâ€Â
=If you’re old, fat or ugly you’ll be told that the position has been filled.
“Seeking candidates with a wide variety of experienceâ€Â
=You’ll need it to replace the three people who just quit.
“Problem-solving skills a mustâ€Â
=You’re walking into perpetual chaos.
“Requires team leadership skillsâ€Â
=You’ll have the responsibilities of a manager, without the pay or respect.
“Good communication skillsâ€Â
=Management communicates, you listen, figure out what they want and do it.
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