Work related question?

Question

Hi, I need some advice about my job

I have been there for around 6 months now

It is mostly girls..there is this one girl who is older than me and I am drawn to her not in a sexual way but more as a parent figure..I have talked to her before about a few of my problems as I'm not close to my mom and I told her about me being sexually abused which is true..my question is how much should i tell her, should i keep doing it..she is happy enough to let me open to her...but do you think that it will bite me in the bum one day...the feeling she gives towards me is that she wants to protect me..some of the things that I've told her were about me being pregnant and having a miscarriage...a few weeks ago, my friend died in a car crash and I am absolutely lost without her, she has looked after me getting me to write a letter to her explaining how i was feeling, I got her to read it :) she said she felt a bit wrong reading it and I'm now afraid of overloading her, i know it doesn't seem like a big problem but it is to me can anyone share any experiences or good advice ??

How do I tackle this, do I keep talking to her or give her a break or do i ask her how she's feeling?

smart **** comments not appreciated !!

Answer 1

you should not get overly personal with the people you work with. i have been $%^& more than once and have lost a job by saying too much personal info.  if you're good friends, do it off the job and never on the job.  we all have problems so don't overwhelm anyone with yours.  let them ask before you offer.  just remember, keep your head up. it will actually make you feel better if you hold yourself proud and smile.

Answer 2

I think you should show some interest in her so that the friendship will be a balanced one.  She could become drained out if you keep talking about yourself.  She is not your therapist.  It is OK once in a while to bring up something of concern to you.   There is an old expression,

"Too much too soon makes for too little too late." I think that is how it goes.

"You have to be a friend to have a friend" is another one.

Best Wishes to you.

Answer 3

When in the workplace, you cannot be too careful. You like her now but you don't know how you may feel about her in the long run. It's best to maintain some kind of distance between you. Opening up to her can leave you vulnerable. Knowledge is power and when backed into a corner people usually don't hesitate to use it. Also, she gave you a hint when she told you that she felt wrong reading the letter. That sounds as if she felt that she was learning too much about you or getting too close, and it made her uncomfortable. My advice is to take time to know this person. If she is your true friend and really cares about you, she will always be in your life. But as of right now, you are still getting to know her. Furthermore, it is never wise to mix business and pleasure or in this case, friendship. I've been there and it wasn't good.