Work relationships?? How close? How distant?

Question

I just read an article that once again...says to NOT talk about Religion, Politics, s*x & Relationships, Money or Medical Issues...

Sounds really good in theory - to keep the people you work with at a distance & not be the "TMI girl" who babbles about her personal life all the time & things people don't want to hear or talk about...

BUT I've been in both situations - I've been accused of talking too much about my personal life.

I've been divorced twice, so I've had some relationship issues in the past that I talked about with some people I considered friends at work. I've never gotten too "indepth" about s*x or things that could be considered tacky..I've never dated anyone at work - but I was told a few times that I have a TMI problem.

SO when I changed jobs, I kept it strictly professional - and it made me appear distant & cold!

I was cordial and chatted but when the conversation shifted to personal junk, I would just get back to work!

I WAS FIRED for "being impersonal and not getting along with others"!!!

OK - somebody explain to me...what's the middle ground

Answer 1

I don't think it was proper for you to be terminated in that manor.

Answer 2

doesn't seem fair that you were fired for this.  did they give you a warning or a counseling?  there are steps to take and if they didn't take them you might think about contacting the eeoc and the Fair labor commission.

i always keep things professional as i've always been 'the boss'.  if you are personal with staffers it can be difficult to reprimand or fire them if need be.

but i do try to not to seem distant.  i will bring in 'goodies' for the staff, have staff dinners, give out staff treats, etc.  all in order to seem friendly and supportive.  you might try that.  be the one to bring in a treat in the morning, have the group sign a birthday card, etc.  be the cheerleader, but keep your stuff personal.  if they want to discuss their issues you can, but don't discuss your's.

Answer 3

I find it hard, too. How close you get depends on several factors. One is the culture of your workplace. Sometimes, because if the type of work being done or the individuals around you, allamestno personal information is exchanged. In that case, follow along and don't share too much. Other times, people think of co-workers as buddies and share all kinds of personal information. In that case, you can join in. Individuals within a workplace vary too. Sometimes, a person has stronger boundaries or is more personal. The most important thing is to read the culture around you and not cross any boundaries. Also, if you are constantly complaining about personal issues, people at work will get tired of it because they have too many responsibilities to think about your issues.