Question:

Work situation, need your help?

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I am a fairly new RN on a busy hospital unit. There is an aide who pointed her finger at me in my face and yelled at me one day. I was in tears at the end of the shift, and told the mgt, and was ready to quit (it is very stressful as it is). The other non-nursing staff is very clique-y, too, and this creates some stress.

Since then, I have not had to work with this aide by coincidence for a few weeks, until last week. She is supposed to come and get report from me, but will walk by and say "your patients need any weights?" (gruffly) and that is it, and I dont ask her for any more help than that.

She has 'barked' a few things at me since, like "the charge is looking for you" whe I am in the middle of dealing with a vomiting pt, I will say ok, and she will shake her head when I dont heed her immediately. I have little to say to her, in fact my problem is that I cant deal with her, I am still feeling 'abused' from the finger pointing/yelling incident. This has gotten in the waqy of pt care, in the sense that I didnt communicate to her what I should. She 'barks' at me, minimally, during the shift (it is hostility, but also her 'street' manner in general), and then last night complained at the ned of the night to the charge that I didnt communicate to her about pt's.

I had been assured after the finger pointing episode that she was 'talked to' about it, god knows what was said...mgt thinks she is 'excellent', I think she does not know WHAT she is doing, save for physical transfers, ect of pts.

I wonder why I am so bruised by that epidoe of yelling, her gruff demeanor, and why I simply CANT deal with it, dont want to deal with it, and want to find a new job, like it isnt even worth it to deal with it. it seems like it is tolerated, or i somehow have to accept it and kiss this person's butt anyway. I have more important things to think about when i am at work. please help.

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  1. First, thanks for becoming a nurse. Who knows when any of us might need your tender care?

    The more that aide rants and raves, points fingers, and interrupts you in your work, the more calm and assured you become in answering her respectfully, but realistically: "Thanks. I will see [the charge] as soon as I finish with this patient," and DON'T LOOK to see if she shakes her head!

    You know, and she knows quite well, that you can't leave a vomiting patient--unless she wants to take over for you! So if she is just trying to make life miserable for everyone, the best way to get back at her while protecting yourself is to be calm and pleasant, no matter how she acts. If she interferes and does something against the patient's welfare, you report her. Otherwise, you just refuse to give her the satisfaction of getting you upset; let that be your "revenge." Then you will be the real professional and she the immature person with a personality defect.

    I have had to deal with some people like this over the years. When I was truly able to muster up a bit of sympathy for them, imagining why they were so awful, and then treated them with as much respect as I could, more than one began to show me some respect.

    This state of affairs will probably not go on for ever. If worst comes to worst, well, good nurses are in great demand and you could probably find a new job. Just make sure that she hasn't a leg to stand on if she criticizes you. Maybe keep an accurate list of dates and exactly what she said and did and what you said, when these things happen. Also jot down the name of anyone who witnessed them.  Just in case!


  2. You are an adult, take this little aide aside and have a talk with her. Don't just stand there and take the verbal abuse, you aren't a little kid. See, now she sees what you are made of. Nursing is a very hostile environment, you're going to have doctors yelling at you, the patients, not to even mention the patient's families. You better get some thick skin now or you aren't going to make it. When she starts her attitude set her straight. No one can do this for you, there's no magic formula. I'm sensing some jealousy issues too. Is there no rank there? Like the RNs are over the LPNs and the doctors over them all? This sounds chaotic to me. Oh and guess what? If you get another job working around other people you're going to have the same problem, moving doesn't make it go away. It'll just be another a$$hole at another medical facility. Maybe you need a private nursing job.

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