Working moms??

Question

I go back to work in mid August and my son will be 3 months old. I have a few questions for working moms!

*How long did it take you to get used to not being around your little one all day?

*How hard was it to manage housework and the baby at the same time? (my husband is a teacher and football coach so he will be at football practices and coaches mtgs until late during the first part of the school year)

*Do you have any suggestions or routines that work for you? (certain days you do laundry, ways to split up chores w/ hubby)

Any advice you all can give would be great!! Stay at home mom advocates...please spare me the lecture. Financially we have no choice. As teachers w/ tons of debt.. it's only practical that I go to work!! :)

Answer 1

My best advice is take it one day at a time, don't beat yourself up if your dishes set  for one day etc.  And if you have a positive attitude toward daycare so will your child. Be confident and strong when you drop them off even if you cry once you get to the car. It took me a long time to not be sad but my own mother (she had passed away before my daughter was born) ran a daycare and I saw first hand what it did to the child when the parent acted sad and drug it out.

I never set a routine but really think it can be beneficial if you will stick to it, if you are not they type like me you just end up beating yourself up over not getting that load in or whatever. Don't set unreal expectations and take it as it comes, it all works out in the end. I use to hate it when people told me that but now I am 35 my kids are 7 & 9 and its true, it might be a rough road there but it does work out. Have faith in each other and enjoy your baby they grow up fast.

And ignore all the moms who will bash you, I have done both, worked as a mom and stayed home, it is whatever works for you. Be the best mom you can and forget what everyone else says.

Oh I forgot the whole husband thing, yes I think he should help out some. When I worked, who ever cooked the other did the dishes. My husband did outside and I did inside. We have varied from that over the years just dont expect him to pick up on hints, be direct in what you want him to do LOL

Answer 2

I think you are an independent and strong womyn! I co-own a home day care/school. It's the family business. My mother (Ms Jan) she owns the whole thing! She's has been doing it for 23 years...since I was one. Monday - Friday....13 hours a day. Newborns - to any age....even 15. Anyway, I've always raised children. I'm not a mother but I know what to do.

It may take a little while, but don't worry...you will get used to not being around your child all day. I even think that makes the parent/child relationship better. Distance.

it should not be that hard, unless you make it hard. Just because your husband is working a lot...doesn't mean he should not share the housework. Don't place everything on him...but give him some things to do too....like changeing the babies diapers or something.

Set up your own routines. Something that is helpful to you and your family:)

Answer 3

you will always hate to leave you little ones at home.  Even when they get big.  At first it seems that you will never get caught up.  You will spend every minute try to.  Laundry, cleaning, bottles, diapers, sleep.  Don't panic, it will all fall into place.  Just remember that the little one doesn't care if the laundry is caught up and dusting done.  It needs your love.  Just make sure your comfortable with your daytime sitter.  It will all work out, give it time.  What works for some doesn't work for others.

Answer 4

It took me about three days to realize he was just fine.

Housework is an ongoing issue, even after a few years. Try to do at least 15 minutes a day - something like dishes and picking up a bit. Hire someone to come do the major work every two weeks. Use bins and drawers to help you organize things.

Fortunately it gets easier when the kids get old enough to help pick up after themselves.

Answer 5

I had a hard time leaving my son when I first went back to work but as many people here have said, once you realize that they are fine with their sitter, it makes things a lot easier on you! For me, as long as I was busy at work, I found I didn't really have a whole of time to dwell on it. Getting used to speaking to adults all day again was really the toughest part!!

The housework and baby thing does take some getting used to. As others here have said, don't let it pile up - that makes it seem overwhelming by the time you do get around to it. We all have days where we just do not want to do the dishes or the laundry, (especially when you've been up with a baby all night and worked all day) and it is fine to skip a day here and there, but don't fall into the never-ending "I'll do it tomorrow" habit; that will only result in disaster. Personally, I never went to bed myself until that days bottles were washed, toys picked up and all the baby's clothes were at least pre-treated and in the laundry room. Use naptime or after the baby is asleep to accomplish your other cleaning chores, though things like dusting, vacuuming, washing dishes and laundry are also easily accomplished if you have an infant carrier that you can strap to your chest - my nephew absolutely LOVED that when he was a baby, just being up moving around and looking at everything (my son always fell asleep when I did that to him). If your husband is working late and not around while you're making dinner, put the baby in his infant seat or something and let him watch you - they like the motion and it gives you someone to talk to who won't interrupt you! I'm with the moms would said to plan your menu at least a week in advance and shop for it one or two weeks at a time - saves time and gas! Pick easy things to make for dinner, like something that you can maybe leave in the crockpot in the morning and will be almost ready by the time you get home at night; it will also stay hot in there until your husband gets home from football practice. Think about things you can use over the course of a couple nights (a friend of mine will make BLT's for her kids one night, and then the next night she makes tacos using the leftover lettuce and tomatoes) - anything that can make your shopping and preparation time easier.  

I'm also a big fan of the whole "whoever cooks, the other cleans". I realize this may be hard for you with your hubby working late a lot, but you work and then come home and take care of a baby, so it's not a lot to ask that he do the dishes once he arrives home. Make a deal that you will take turns if the baby gets up at night - I get him tonight, you get him tomorrow; on the weekends, take turns sleeping in, so you each get a break. This makes things easier on both of you, plus it gives your son a little one-on-one time with each parent.  

The important thing is, find what works for YOU. Everyone has their opinion, but if it works for your family, that is the only thing that matters. It will take time for you to work out the kinks in the system, and you may have to try several different things before you settle into a routine, but eventually you'll get it down pat. Like you, I wasn't in a financial position to stay at home with my son but now that he's almost 4, in a lot of ways I'm glad that I work. Good luck to all of you!!

Answer 6

I went back to work 1 yr ago when my daughter was almost 2 yrs old. Since I hadn't been away from my daughter for long periods of time and no one besides my family watching her it took me a little while to get adjusted to being away from my daughter from 7am-3pm. It took me awhile to get into a routine of keeping the house clean and taking care of my dd. My husband works on a barge so he is gone for 30 days at a time so I generally do alot of my housecleaning on the weekend. During the week I work on getting 1 room clean a day. I generally do laundry as needed. I feel ya on being a teacher! I am still paying off my debt!

Answer 7

were is hes father but its oooook you do miss your little one wen ur at work  look its better to clean up wen the babyies asleep or if hes playng with something u can clean up

Answer 8

Hi ... I'm a stay at home mom ... but no lectures here!  There have been times in life where I've had to work outside the home ... and times when I haven't. At present, I feel I have the best of both worlds .. I direct the plays for the high school (and get paid for it) but my husband's business is going well enough that I don't have to work full time.

Advice ... save where you can -- time, money, energy, gas, etc.  I've found that simple things make a difference -- cook up three pounds of hamburger and store it in a baggie in the refrig. You can use it to make everything from spaghetti to tacos to shepard's pie easily and quickly without having to go through the "cook the meat" step.  Combine trips - save gas and time.  Make sure you take some time for yourself!

I'm new here and not sure if this is allowed, but I'm sure someone will tell me if I'm doing it wrong!  Here is a link to a website that has a WEALTH of information, ideas, ways to save money and even make extra money yourself (if you want - but you don't have to participate in that part of the program to receive the benefits):  http://christy.cheerfulnoise.com

Take a look ... I think you'll find some things that can really help you save money and time ... as well as gving lots and lots of ways to strengthen your family!

Good luck!  Keep us posted!

Christy

Answer 9

It can be done!!   I worked 50+ hours a week until I got the chance to stay home when my oldest turned 8.   The biggest thing to do is make sure that you and your hubby are working together to keep the home running smoothly.  Figure out if he is more comfortable with you leaving notes,  or if he just wants to be in charge of a couple of area's of your home.

Get on a schedule.  Plan your menu's for the week and grocery shop once a week or do it for a two week peroid.  If you plan what you are going to have for dinner be flexable  with your plan.   Write down 14 dinners,  and make those dinners but be flexiable with what day of the week you have them.   Always have a few simple "no brainer" items in your freezer for those days when your really just too tired to cook.

Don't let the laundry build up.   It is easier to take care of one load a day than 6 loads on Saturday.  

Don't stay up late cleaning!  It's not worth it!   Consider having  a maid service come in once a month (they really are not as expensive as you may think!)  Or just maintain the basic's yourself and do a big clean once a month (sending baby and daddy away for the day!).

Have enough bottles so that you do not have to wash them every day!

You NEVER get used to being away from your baby.  You learn to deal with the reality of life. If you use a day care or a babysitter you have to be comfortable with the people your child is with.  And so does your child.

Never drag out good-byes at the center or your sitter's.  Make it quick and matter of fact.  I always told mine when they would be picked up and by who (Daddy or Mommy).  Even when they were babies.  Kiss, hug, out the door.  Don't wait for them to cry or fuss.  The calmer and more matter-of-fact you are the easier it is on them.  They take all their emotional clues from us!!   Good luck!   I'm sure you'll all get through this find...the first few weeks will be the hardest!