Worried about Pre-School

Question

My little boy will start pre-school on August 12th he is 3 years old. I go to school from 9 to 3 daily so I am pretty much gone all day. He will go to school from 8 to 3:30. I am pretty excited for him to go becasue I just think that it will be a good experience.

Well now since I am gone all day he spends his days with Grandma, my daughter stays with grandma too since she is off school for break.

Anyways he never really interacts with kids, let alone boys his age. When he does he tends to be very aggressive towards them. Like my friends 3 year old boy tryed to give him a hug and my son pushed him.

My son isn't bad but he is aggressive I have been talking to him about school and how he needs to be nice to the other kids and he tells me that he understands, which I think that he does because he understands a lot of things that I tell him.

Anyways do you think that he will act this way at school everyone that I know says that he will calm down and not be so hyper.

Will he be okay? And how do I help him with this?

(and I do not enable this when he acts this way he is disciplined)

Answer 1

As a preschool teacher I can tell you that it will be hard for your son because it will be a new environment, new routines and a whole new experience for him, but once he'll get used to it, it will be a rewarding experience for both of yous. Not only will he learn social skills, but he will also learn routines and many more different things that will prepare him for kindergarten. I'm sure his teacher will know how to help him adjust which will calm a lot of his hyperness, which is probably due to lack of gross motor activities, if not the preschool family worker will help you find help within your comunity.

Answer 2

I work at a preschool and we currently have a 3 year old boy in the same situation. He can be very aggressive and a handful at times. As teachers though, we are trained to deal with these types of situations and since we have been working with him he has been getting a lot better.

The only way he is going to learn to not be aggressive with other kids is to be around them and learn it that way. It may be good to talk with the teacher ahead of time about your concerns so that they can be watching out for that and so that they'll be prepared to deal with it. We are trained for these situations.

As far as what you can do...just encourage him. As a Mom its your responsibility to be encouraging, yet discouraging him from being aggressive. At every opportunity you have, try to teach him about non-aggression.

Answer 3

first of all remember that most children act differently in school that they do at home.  since this is his first experience with a group of others he may be intimidated but if he exhibits "bad" behavior or inappropriate behavior in the classroom the teacher will do the right thing to prevent or stop the behavior.  be sure you talk to the teacher before school starts ( if possible) or make an appointment shortly after it starts to discuss your concerns with the teacher or school administrator.  

Answer 4

You're on the right track already...discussing it with him will help a bit...reading books about what a friend is and does.  I just came across some social stories yesterday about preschool.  http://www.vanderbilt.edu/csefel/practic...  These are nice for preschoolers. The titles "I Go to Preschool", "I Can Be a Super Friend", "I Can Use My Words", etc.  Once he gets into preschool it'll all fall into place.  3 year old preschool is to help the children learn appropiate social behaviors.  You are welcome to voice your concerns to the teachers but I think he'll do okay.  It's true...children behave differently at home than in preschool.  

Answer 5

he will act this way at preschool.  and they'll teach him how to behave differently and to deal with his feelings.  that's what preschools do.  you can help by continuing to speak with him about being nice, using his words, and not pushing.  and be sure to speak with his teacher and keep an open line of communication with her.  it's important that the 2 of you use similar methods so he doesn't get confused.  he'll be fine.  it may take awhile to get there, but he will.

Answer 6

dont force him to change but try to get him interested in a sport karate or t-ball i know i am young but i have talked to these kids and they tell me stuff dont worry he might just me in a stage

Answer 7

You are doing the right thing by being concerned about the problem, and talking to your son.  If he understands most of what you tell him, he will get the idea of what you are saying now, too.  

Be aware that many 3 year old boys act the way your boy does sometimes.  The teacher will handle it appropriately when it happens, and tell them the appropriate behavior.  Over the course of the school year, the children will get the idea of how to act, and begin to behave more and more.  By the time they enter the 4 year old room, they are doing pretty well.  

Keep in mind this is a process.  You are teaching your boy the right way to behave, and it will make a huge difference.  It sounds like he acts fairly well now most of the time, and he listens to you, so it's not like the situation is out of control.  You are a good Mom.

Answer 8

I'm not going to say that school will turn your child into an angel. If he's a little aggressive, the teacher may set him straight. The teacher will go over the rules of the classroom, just like I did when I was a preschool teacher. I think that it will be a great idea for him to be able to interact with more kids his age so that he can learn to be more social towards them. Good luck and no worries! If it is still a problem after a month or so, have a good talk with his teacher on ways that the two of you can work together to make him less aggressive.

Answer 9

Sounds like preschool is just what he needs. He needs to learn to get along with others. I'm sure he will be just fine. Talk to his teacher on a regular basis and keep on top of things as they arise.  

Answer 10

Preschool is a great place and time for children to learn the social skills that you are worried about. It is where he will be taught how to get along with other children in a non-aggressive way. They will help him learn various strategies.

Just telling him to "be nice" to other children might not be all that helpful. I mean, what does "be nice" really mean to a 3 yr. old? Be specific. He has to learn what "nice" is.

You may have already done this, but, if not, you can help him at home by teaching him to "use his words". For example, when another child tries to hug him you say "It's not okay to push. Pushing hurts and makes people sad. You can say 'No. Don't hug me.'"  You have to teach him words to use or what he can do (like walk away) in situations rather than pushing or hurting others.

It might help to schedule more playdates with his peers at home so you can intervene and teach him how to get along with other children.

Not sure what you mean by "disciplined", but if you mean punished (as many people do when they use that word), then that's not as effective as keeping him in the situation and helping him solve the problem with words, in a non-aggressive manner. Discipline is all about teaching proper behaviour, not just punishing unacceptable behaviour.  

Answer 11

i am a preschool teacher for 3 year olds. It is very typical for 3 year olds not to interact a lot with other children. They usually play side by side at first, but he is the age where he should and probably will start playing with others. Sending him to preschool is the best thing for him. Our emphasis for 3 year olds is not academics, but socialization. He will be okay. His teachers will help him along. We teach them to share, take turns, use their words instead of hands (pushing, hitting, etc.), listening to and respecting others, and educating them as to what is and what is not acceptable behavior. We have had a lot of biters, hitters, grabbers and pushers. They soon learn what is acceptable and what is not. Good luck.

Answer 12

oh honey -this is what preschool is for!  The teachers will know how to deal with this behavior in a positive way (hopefully) and they will probably start some positive reward charts and rewards themselves.  And remember, he might not even be this way at school - all children are different with their parents than they are with their teacher.  Expectations are so different and he could be just fine.  And if he does display those behaviors, those are very typical 3 year old behaviors and the staff will take care  of it. Sending him to preschool is the best thing for him.  All day is a bit extreme but if that's the way they do it, then so be it.