Question:

Would U.S. citizens adopt more children from the U.S. if the process was easier here?

by Guest64074  |  earlier

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Instead of always making a beeline for other countries?

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23 ANSWERS


  1. Absolutely!!!!!!! It's just so expensive. I was raised in a 3 bedroom home with 12 bro. and sis. We all turned out fine. As a matter of fact we're closer than most families. Our kids are also like bro. and sis. We were not rich but we were loved greatly, protected, sheltered, clothed, disciplined and fed( my Mom is an excellent cook). Those are the most important things for a child. My husband and son and extended family would love to lavish these things on an adopted child, but we cannot afford it. Nor do we meet other unreasonable strenuous criteria.


  2. Yes, and making it cheaper might actually help too.

    I would love to adopt however looking at the costs and how it would more than hurt the bank account.....can't do it.

    I know that I have three awesome children and I am a wonderful mother and my husband is caring and loving however going broke wouldn't help any or all involved either.

    I know that there are children that would benefit from a family like ours and that's what we would be giving them a family and all the costs only hurt the families from giving the children what they truly need.

    best wishes

  3. My biggest issue is how expensive adoption is.  I mean, my husband & I could afford to raise a child, but not the thousands & tens of thousands that adoption can run.  That's what we're running into.    :(

  4. Yes, it is difficult, Children Services/authorities always want to keep a child with a blood relative, even if not best choice. So the child ends up being 10 yrs plus and then they are finally clear for adoption and not many people want an older child. The babies that people WANT to adopt are usually taken. There are many non white children in need of adoption (older ones), but white people want white children. So, they tend to go to other countries

  5. I know I would. I am adopted and my husband and I have been looking into adoption. We want to adopt, but it is just so complicated and costs soooo much. We are military so we have a steady income , a nice house, and lots of benefits. But we don't make enough money to afford the adoption process and apparently not enough for an adoption agency to give us a second glance.

  6. for some people i think so. i think alot of people do go to other countries because it's harder here to adopt but i think that some people would still consider 3rd world countries because there's so much suffering over there, they'd probably want to give a child a better chance at life.

  7. It might help a little bit. Yep people wanted babies. Often People will adopt from Russia or some other European country if they want a full white child, since they are in higher demand.    Of course people adopt internationally because the children/kids have it 10X worse then any orphan in the USA. Some people probably want to have a multi - cultural mixed family.

    Probably some people fear the birthmother will change her mind or Open adoption. The last one shouldn’t be feared there are more Open adoptions now but there are still closed adoptions too. If I ever adopted I’ll probably  take only  multi-racial’s.

  8. I completely agree, we should be able to adopt within US with no excessive paper works, and requirements.

  9. If it was easier and cheaper, also here the standards are too high, such as you have to have a bedroom for each child, so if you have two kids and you have a three bedroom house, you can't adopt, there wouldn't be a room for every child.  We ran in to that problem.  Eveidently it is abuse to have to share a room.  My husband was adopted from Korea though, and his parents just wanted to help less fortunate children.  They also adopted from Nicaragua.  The children here, although not in ideal situations, are cared for, they are in foster homes and at least are given government health care, food and go to school, I am not saying it is great, but it is better than most third world countries, the children lay in cribs ALL day, with no human interaction, they just lay in diaper, if they have them at all, they are starved and most when adopted dont even know how to walk and have never had any health care.  So some see it as, putting the children on priority lists, Although this is hard, they can't save every child, so they go where the children are in the most need and in the most neglect.  A child is a child,  from America or Africa.

  10. Ease of process is not the only thing that needs to be fixed in the US adoption world.

    Adopting privately: There will always be people who do not want to wait to be selected by a birth mom to adopt her baby. They feel like they are in competition with all of these other parents wanting to adopt. Some people do not want to have to "report in" on how their child is doing to birth parents. In international adoption it is only required once or twice, or annually depending on the country the child came from but you are not sending the info to a specific person, you are sending it to the country of birth. I did a 6 month and 12 month post placement report with our social worker and we are done with those. Also I think it is very difficult for some people to have the birth parents involved because they will feel like they are constantly being judged by the birth parents or critisized in their choice of discipline for the child.  

    Adopting from foster care: Children protective services agencies (DSS, DFCS, or whatever your state is called) and the courts (judges in the cases) are bound to follow the LAWS of this country which treats children like chattel or property. The children have NO rights at all. It's the bio parents who have the rights and the child protective services agencies have to intervene when abuse or neglect is suspected. The case plans for so many of these parents are so simple to complete yet so many of them do not complete the plans so the courts are obligated to give them another chance. I am sorry but getting appropriate housing, keeping a legal job, staying out of jail, remain drug free for 6 months and attending anger management classes are not difficult things to accomplish. These are the types of things that are in most of the case plans for parents of children in foster care but the parents cannot do it. I am sorry to be so hard but if they cannot do this in 6 months time they should have their rights terminated.

    A child has the right to live in a house, trailer or apartment instead of a homeless shelter, car, or condemed building.

    They should have the right to have food on the table not searching through trash cans for a bite to eat. This may not be steak and potatoes every night but at least a bowl of soup and crackers, a hot dog, frozen pizza or ravioli).

    A child has the right to an education. They should not have to miss school because their parents are strung out on drugs and cannot get them ready for school on time or cannot get up on time to get their kids up and ready for school because the parents were out partying all night. There is a certain amount of responsibility that they must demonstrate to be good parents.

    A child has the right to not grow up in fear; fear of their parents anger, fear of not having something to eat, fear of being alone. The longer they have these fears the harder it is for them to over come them. The end result is post tramatic stress disorder and that is an obsticle most people do not want to take on. Most children in foster care have been diagnosed with PTSD. Until you have lived with a child learning to overcome this you have no idea how difficult it is. My feeling on this subject is we would not send a soldier (a full grown adult) back to war zone who is suffereing from post traumatic stress disorder, why in the world would we as a civilized society send a child back to the same parents that caused the PTSD. It's insane but it happens a lot and not because the child protective agencies have failed the children but because the court (laws) say they have to.    

    Unfortunately, the laws in this country do NOT protect the children. They are in place to protect the parents from the children protective services. This is what needs to change. We need to address our law makers and get them to write some laws that protect the children. Unfortunately, there are a lot of people who feel that any law written to protect the children will take away parents rights and will fight it. Address this with your elected officials.

  11. Absolutely.  It isn't just about making the process "easier" either.  I believe it's also about protecting the rights of the adoptive family prior to the finalization also.  People feel safer using international adoptions because by the time they are ready to bring the child home, there is no chance the bio-parents will change their mind.  Here in the US, a person can go through the entire adoption process, spend tens of  thousands of dollars and then once the baby is born, the bio-parent changes their mind, and the adoptive family loses everything.  

    There is also the fear of once you bring the child home, the bio-parent trying to fight again to get the child back because they've now "thought about" the situation.  Fortunately, the US is getting better with protective laws in that situation, but it is still a fear that many parents have.  

    I did adopt from within the US and could not believe the amount of issues we encountered.  The foster care program who suggested the adoption in the first place because our son has a medical disorder, decided half-way thru the process that they didn't want to put him in an adoptive home but rather a foster care home.  Fortunately, the bio-family wanted us to adopt him so it was all of us against the system, but it just left a very bad impression of our system here.  

    We are blessed to have our son and I would never change any of that.  But if we were considering adoption again, I would seriously consider international simply because of what we went thru domestically.

  12. It is not that it is difficult to adopt in the US. There is a shortage of healthy babies. Unfortunately there are some racial biases, but in general healthy babies are in short supply.

    There are two other issues that often scare people off from US adoptions.

    -Most US adoptions are now open so the birthmother may want some ongoing contact. People considering adoption should really educate themselves about this rather than being scared off by the prospect. In an open adoption the birthmother does NOT have the right to take the baby back.

    -Also in the US birthmothers cannot sign away their rights to parent until after the birth. There are different rules about the waiting period from state to state. so it is possible to match with at birthmom, or even have a baby placed in your home, only to have the birthmom change her mind. Once the papers are signed and any waiting period is over the birthmom cannot change her mind. If you work with a reputable agency they can help you understand and assess these risks.

    One barrier to adoption is the cost, but that is very high for both domestic and international adoption.

  13. Probably.  We ended up adopting from Guatemala after two domestic adoptions didn't work out.  I know it was meant to be now that I have my little boy from Guatemala here with me.  He was 3 when we finally brought him home.  It wasn't easy, fast or cheap.  But he was worth EVERYTHING!  I'd do it all again in a heartbeat!

  14. No, because there is a shortage of healthy, white babies here.  These folks don't want to adopt older children (even a 3 year old becomes hard to place!), because they aren't 'babies' to mold. While I am sympathetic, I think children should remain with their parents under all circumstances unless they are unfit or totally not wanted.

  15. I think so.  Part of the reason is our social system is pretty screwed up in so many ways and there has been nothing done to simplify it.  I'm not saying that we shouldn't screen parents but the whole process is a bit overboard as are the requirements.  There are so many children in the system right now that are losing out on good homes, it's silly.  DHS needs to get their heads out of their butts and fix what's wrong.  Take for instance our neighbors next door - they got custody of the husband's son last summer and realized something was wrong with him and so they started seeking help and counseling.  Where did that get them?  The kid started telling stories and DHS believed him (even though he can't tell you the same story twice consistently) and took him out of the home and preschool that he desperately needed and now the step mother is under investigation for allegations that since Feb. they have not been able to find evidence for.  They're going after the wrong people and not caring about the kids that keep going into the system because their parents have too many problems to take care of them.  However, if you are a foster parent it's so simple to adopt.  Go figure.  There needs to be a push for DHS and Adoption reform and soon.

  16. Actually, adopting domestically is easier paperwork-wise than adopting internationally.  With international adoption, potential adoptive parents must satisfy their own state criteria as well as those set forth by the country they will be adopting from.

    We did domestic infant adoption through an agency and they do not require a bedroom for each child.  Perhaps adopting through foster care may be different, but in my state, when adopting privately or through an agency they cannot prevent parents from adopting on the basis of the number of bedrooms they have.

    Now, with all of that said, most people adopt internationally because they do not want to risk a birthparent changing his/her mind during the revocation period (the time between birthparents signing their termination of parental rights and the set time by the state as to how long they have to change their minds - some states it's only 24 hours, our state has a 10 day revocation period).  Also, since open adoption is the norm now, many parents adopt internationally so they won't have to have a relationship with a birthparent.

    It's each person's individual preference as to whether they want to adopt domestically or internationally.  Everyone needs to choose the type of adoption that is right for them whether it's domestic infant, international, or through foster care.

    We chose domestic adoption because we wanted a newborn (we were in the delivery room when both our children were born) and because we wanted an open adoption.

  17. Not all adoptive parents make a "beeline" for another country.  MANY children are adopted here.  In fact, most BABIES for adoption in the U.S. are adopted quickly as long as they are legally free for adoption.  Many people adopt from overseas because adopting a baby in the U.S. can be a very long wait.  Most of the waiting children in the U.S. are older children in foster care and adopting an older child is not something that every adoptive parent is equipped to deal with.  For some people, international adoption is the right choice! For others, domestic adoption is the right choice!  Neither is "better" than the other, none of the adopted children are more deserving, they're all just children who NEED a loving home and family!

  18. I think many U.S citizens are too selective on their choices. They all wanted a white baby, it would be so much easier if they are open to adopt babies with a different ethnicity.

  19. I would consider adopting from USA before I considered adopting from a foreign country and I'm American but I'd look into getting an older child.  So many parents want babies that  is why they adopt from overseas because it's harder to get newborns here in USA.  But yes if it was easier to adopt from USA then I think more American citizens would adopt kids from USA.  People need to understand that babies aren't the only important kids out in the world. There are older kids needing homes as well.   It's just hard to adopt from USA because it's so expensive and there's no guarntee that you'll get a child because the birth mom can change her mind and keep her baby when it's born until she signs away her rights and birth parents can come and take your kids that you adopted away from you here.

  20. International is not an easier process at all, in fact it is more complicated in some aspects. Adoptive parents must complete a homestudy either way (and it is not true each child must have their own room), fill out tons of paperwork, and go through all the immigration processes on top of it for International.

    There are several factors in choosing International over domestic, some of which are deeply personal to the adoptive parents, but ease of process isn't one I have ever heard.

    Mostly its a simple supply and demand issue. There are fewer babies and toddlers available for adoption in the US, and International children are already deemed "orphans" whose parents have terminated rights, whereas in the US children in foster care may be reunited with their families and the parents of newborns may choose against placing.

  21. most definitely,  we have been on the adoption list for 3 years with not alot of hope of moving anytime soon.  it seems alot faster to go to another country.

  22. I know I would. I'd love to adopt a baby, but the whole process seems so overwhelming. I would do it in a heartbeat if it weren't so complicated. It would be the best feeling ever to give a baby a home.

  23. I don't think it is an issue of an easier process.  I think a lot of parents a) want newborns (not very many in US, too many are aborted) or b) want their adoptive child as soon as possible, and the wait times take forever.  If they could shorten the wait times, and maybe educate people more about domestic adoption, I think people would adopt here more.

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