Question:

Would You Consider Adoption If..?

by Guest61521  |  earlier

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Your 17 & Your Boyfriend is 18, Your boyfriends parents are willing to take care of the baby while you both are at school .&. work .&. help financial problems with it .&. is willing to support the mother and let the mother live with the boyfriend and his parents.. But the mothers parents saying she is gonna put the baby up for adoption but the mother,father and fathers parents want to keep it...

The Parents of this unborn child is going to be continuing in school has two people willing to watch it while they are at school both has jobs .&. fathers parents will help with financial problems..

Is it right that the mothers parents are making her give it up for adoption when she wants to keep it?

& Dont you think the child would be okay considering they have a plan..

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  1. The pregnant mothers parents cannot make the mother put her baby up for adoption. Its the pregnant mother and fathers decision. If you want to keep your baby, keep your baby. Don't let ANYONE tell you that you have to surrender.

    Don't let anyone make you surrender. Hold your baby close and don't let them take him/her.

    You have a plan, and it sounds like a good one. I'm happy one set of the childs grandparents are willing to do what it takes!


  2. i dont believe that the mothers prnts have any right to give that baby up for adoption...the mother better go & get the police on her prnts

  3. I was 17 when my baby was born and her dad was 18 and graduated from high school. I turned 18 a month ago and still have a year left. The birthdad's parents were willing to take care of my baby. My mom is a single mom and it would have been harder on my side. I thought of what was the best for my little girl. It broke my heart that I would not be able to be there all the time and I would have to be dependent on others just to get by.  I wanted better for my daughter. I put my feelings aside and thought what would be the best for that baby. I thought it was better that the baby be in a 2 parent home with a stay at home mom and the parents were ready.

    I thought I was ready to do it and birthdad and I had a plan, but once that baby came, I knew we couldn't do it. It would have been so difficult and we wouldn't always be there for her.

    I have an open adoption along with the birthdad. We get to see our baby, we have weekly updates and she will always know who we are. Adoption is a great thing if done right. My situation worked out this way. Make it easier on us and out little girl because we just can not do it. I did the best I could at the time.

    Good luck with your situation! Blessings

  4. No, her parents cannot do that.  However, if her parents make her go to an adoption agency that is unethical, the agency will do everything that they can to keep the father and his family from getting custody of the baby.  There have been some cases recently where the agency hides the mother in another state in the US that is "adoption friendly".  That means that they will force the mother to sign away her baby in the hospital while she is under the influence of drugs, there will no period during which the she can revoke her consent, and the lawyers will pretend that the father is "unknown".  How do you spell the US state of U-T-A-H!??

    If the agency wants to move your friend out of state, it means they are trying to make sure that the father and his family do not get their child/grandchild.  They are in very great danger of never seeing their child/grandchild.

    BTW - I know many families who have helped their children finish school by helping with the grandchildren.  In fact, we are one of them!!!  It is an awesome experience.

  5. I don't know what the law is where you are (don't know what you live) but I'm pretty sure even if the girl is a minor, her parents can't choose to give it up for adoption.

    In fact I think in some places in the USA you automatically become an emancipated minor when you have a kid.

  6. No i wouldn't your the parent you decide!!!! just think your giving your baby away how would u fell if it was you

  7. You still have a say no matter what.... Go right now and every week and register with the punitative fathers registry. The laws vary from statwe to state, but find out about where you live. Her parents have no rights to do ANYTHING with this baby.  Your parents might be able to take you GF in as a foster child and provide a safe place where she won't be pressured into a decision.

    Also remember, a lot of times people will tell you what ever they have to, to get you to make a certain decision. Don't think that your parents want to raise another child. You'll need to be there at almost EVERY available moment and be a father to this baby. It's not easy when you're in school or working too, BUT IT'S SO WORTH IN. Stand up to her parents and put your foot down.

  8. This child should NOT be given away for adoption.

    No way.

    I was given away for adoption because my grandparents forced my mother into relinquishing me.

    My mother and I now hold deep emotional scars from that decision.

    The mother's parents need to back off.

    It is not in the child's or the mother's and father's best interests.

  9. Her parents cant MAKE her give the baby up for adoption.  If the girl really wants to keep the baby and she has family support it will be ok.  Giving a wanted baby up for adoption would be impossibly hard emotionally hard her and she would wish she had that child all the time.

    Giving a baby up for adoption is an incredibly personal decision that only the mother with the help of the father can make, not her parents.

    Many babies are born to young mothers every day, while it isnt an ideal situation and the child could possibly have a better life with another family these children are OK.

    BTW my daughter was born when I was 19 an unmarried but I had good family support, everything turned out fine.

  10. NO I would not!  Keep your child!!  Adoption should not even be a consideration in these circumstances!

  11. Bottom line if the birth mother wants to keep her baby then she should keep it. End of story.

  12. NO.

    You are the one having a baby.  You and the baby's father want to live with his parents and are welcome.  

    Your parents are having a hard time dealing with reality and may be doing what they believe.  BUT you will be a young mother whether you keep your baby or not.  If you want to love and care for your baby, you are the best one to do that.  You will have to grow up fast.  It's better to grow up fast with your child than to suffer through the rest of your life without your child.

    And it will be better for your child.  Your baby is growing inside you now and will benefit greatly from having your uninterrupted presence throughout it's childhood.

    It sounds like you have a good plan.  Someone said something about not being able to plan your life at 15.  No one's life turns out exactly the way they plan it.  Plans are a good place to start, but you have to keep adjusting them all your life.



    As your parents see your baby grow, they'll likely come around and be grateful to have their precious grandchild in their lives too.

    I lost my firstborn child to adoption at the same time a lifetime friend moved in with her boyfriend's family and kept her child.  When I was finally reunited with my daughter, and still dealing with the trauma and loss, the family of the woman that was taken in by her boyfriend's family was celebrating what a boon their grandchild was.  Adoption can be a short term solution to long term grief.

  13. Honestly, if she is 15 I think SHE is best off giving the baby up for adoption. At 15 you can't make a plan about the rest of your life and yet that is what this baby is forcing you to do.

    The 15 year old's mom has every legal right to give the baby up for adoption unless in some places she is 16 when she gives birth.

    You can go to court to try to become an emancipated minor, but you have to prove you are a responsible young adult and that is going to be hard for you to do when you are pregnant.

    Allow your self to grow up slowly. 15 year olds are not ready to to give up everything they have to be a good parent. They still need time to be irresponsible and take risks and experiment. Moms can't do that.

    Let your baby have a good start with parents who are really ready to be parents.

  14. Her parents can not make her give the baby up for adoption its not their decision. If they insist they will need the signature of the boyfriend. If a mother is unfit to take care of the baby or is giving it up the father has the right to keep the baby. Her parents can not just have her give the baby up like I said its not their decision. If she plans to stay with her boyfriend and his parents are willing to help then she probably needs to move in with them.

    Its between her boyfriend and her who they give the baby too....

  15. Her parents can't make her put the baby up for adoption, its up to the person who had the baby.

  16. Ok well i was 19 when i had my daughter and i wouldnt take it back for the world. I do regret not continuing with my schooling though so i think that it's great that u want to finish school. I just want to say that you should be proud of yourself for not wanting to give the baby up for adoption and finding other ways and means to keep your baby. You should just look at as if your putting it in daycare why your at school most adults who work put there baby's into daycare so i don't see the difference. You'll be home at night to care for your baby so i just wish you all the very best with your  choice and to let you know how very lucky that you have  some great inlaws to help out. Hey and your parents may be mad now but they will get over it most of them do when the baby arrives.

  17. This makes me so mad because these two people want so to take responsiblity for the creation of this child, which is a very mature thing to do, and the grandmother of this child wants to trash that. The girl's parents are the ones who are irresponsible and immature. As an adoptee I know the excruiating pain of being adopted. Bloodline is the most important thing, not money, and no amount of money can buy a bloodline, so for God's sake these two should move in with the rational grandparents as soon as possible and keep their child. It is so heartwarming to see how loving the father's parents are, unlike the mothers.  A family should stay together!

  18. Women who can make parenting work absolutely should do so. In the situation you described, I see no reason at all that adoption should be necessary. And NO, the girl's parents cannot legally force her to give her baby up. They may exude tremendous pressure, but that baby canNOT be placed for adoption without the baby's mother's signature.

  19. she cannot give the baby up for adoption without either the birth fathers permission or by taking him to court to have his rights taken away, the only way that that can happen is if the father is proven unfit or he doesnt show up for court. GET A LAWYER NOW !!!!
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