Would a real friend quit talking to you with no explanation?

Question

I have made some poor choices in my past. Of course since I feel bad about my past choices I do not talk about it. Well recently my best friend became friends with someone who knows of my poor past choices. My best friend out of the blue just cut me off no explanation. Was she never really a true friend? If you had a friend who may have made bad choices would you end the friendship because of it? It has no effect on her so I don't get it.

Answer 1

if you are making poor choices affecting her life, yes she should give up on you!

Answer 2

It depends on what you mean by bad choices....if these choices will affect your friendship in the long run then yes she has every right to move on and don't look back.

Answer 3

yes cuz they r tired of u

Answer 4

no they are not a true friend. just to let you know...a true friend accepts you as you are, they don't judge you regardless of the decisions you make.

Answer 5

she aint real shes just veal. haha she aint real tho. i wouldnt cut my friend off for the PAST id cut her off for something PRESENT

helpp pleasee

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Answer 6

no they aren't. not at all. they should at least give you an explanation, or who needs them anyway?

Answer 7

Yeah I know that is wrong. If that friend walked out on you, they were not a real friend to begin with. Yes, people have past mistakes but doesnt mean they are like that forever. If that friend wanna listen to what someone else says, oh well, let them go. It may be hard to get over, but let them go. The only thing you can do to get back at them is to be successful. Thats my best revenge to someone who tries to pull me down and ruin my life: be successful!!!!!!!!! - it will make them jealous. But seriously, just tell that person, that it's wrong to do what they did, and that you're not the same person that you were back then. If they still dont wanna listen, like I said, let them go

Answer 8

hhmm?.. well there could b different ways to look at it ...

but i can not judge her or u ....so  just in general ... i don't think so ...

i think if she was, she of course could have handled the situation better .. she could have at least told u her explanation for her action  

Answer 9

talk to your friend, admit you have made some bad choices in the past but you have changed and u dont want to ruin a friendship over the past

Answer 10

i probably wouldnt stop the relationship if it was in the past

instead i would help them make better choices for the future

she might be shocked because of what you did or something

or maybe your other friend may have said something about your past but may have told her only one side

or may have not said it right

try to sit down with her and try to make her tell you whats wrong

and if it is something about your past then explain it to her and tell her that your not proud of it and that your not planning on making the same choices

Answer 11

i think you should just talk to her and ask her what the problem is. If she's really upset about the decisions you chose in the past, talk to her why you made your decision the way you did and apologize if it is your mistakes. She'll understand if she is a real friend.

Answer 12

No, I do not believe a "real" friend would simply cut you off like that. A "real" friend would want an explanation of the things you did and why. A "real" friend shouldn't care about the past if it doesn't affect the present. A "real" friend should be just that, a friend.  

Answer 13

She has known you for you for some time now. Friends talk about things that they have heard - not just stop the friendship. Everyone in their lives has made poor choices and should not judge you for yours. As long as you learned a lesson and do not repeat bad choices now - your friend should still be your buddy. Find out what is really bothering her before you jump to conclusions that that was in fact - her reason. Maybe it's a totally different reason- but go to her face to face and ask her about it.

I am sure she wants it settled too. If she still refuses then  pick another friend who is not so judgmental.

Answer 14

Did your best friend know what you had done before she met the other person?  Or did she find out AFTER she met the other person who knew about your bad choices?  I'm sure it would have helped if you had been honest with your best friend.  Maybe you should have told her about your past.  That is what being a best friend is all about...being honest with each other.  If you feel  strongly about losing your best friend, why don't you get together and tell her how you feel, and that you are not the same person you were in the past.  Help her to understand you.  

Answer 15

A true friend would confront you and ask YOU for answers... not someone else! No, I have made choices in the past and so has my best friend. Heck, we've even made bad choices together but it made us stronger and more trustworthy of each other. I know I can go to her and work things out, and she can come to me!  

Answer 16

Hum... it really depends how bad your choices were. But she most likely isnt a true friend, no. I reckon the other girl was talking about you behind you back. Try and arange to talk things out all 3 of you somehow. If it doesnt work put you'll know for sure!

Good luck whatever you do! (:

x

Answer 17

She's not a true friend. Poor choices or not friends don't just bail on you for no reason or w/o an explenation. I will guaranty that your friend and their new friend are talking some serious **** about you, so watch your back. Your friend is a d**k head.

Answer 18

No. True friends understand each other, and talk about their problems.  Text the friend, or write to them and from your heart, tell them you are sorry, and you do not want your poor choices to affect their friendship. I would not drop my best friend because of that.

Answer 19

Well, depending on how serious your "bad choices" were... she probably doesn't talk to you anymore because of what her friend that knows about your past told her. She might feel like you kept secrets from her and she doesn't trust you anymore since y'all were supposed to be best friends. Or.. she could just be embarrassed to be friends with you now that she knows and doesn't want other people to judge her from what you did. I know a lot of times people say who you hang out with shows who you are (or something like that, haha). Who knows. I don't know what the situation was and all that so I can't really say the reason.

That sucks though. She should be friends with you no matter what, but I guess she wasn't really a true friend after all.

Answer 20

Obviously this "friend" knows something but a real friend wouldn't just stop communicating with you and not tell you why. I don't know what you did but you do, and depending on what it is, ask yourself if this friend is worth having if they can't communicate their feelings to you. And know that there are plenty of good people that will take you as you come, as long as you've changed.  Trust me, I've done really bad things as far as my character is concerned, but to my surprise, there are people who will listen and love you for you. Just don't be too secretive about your past if it can be found out somewhere other than you, people appreciate honesty, especially friends. And learn from your mistakes... Hope I helped!

Answer 21

This happened to me:  someone whom I thought was a good friend cut me off with no explanation.  Refused to take my calls or answer my email.  Anyone who would do this is definitely not a true friend.  If your "friend" had a problem with you or mine with me, she should have spoken to us directly.

Now there are a few exceptions where I think I think it's justified to end a friendship because of one's bad choices.  For example if one's friend committed a serious felony.  But if one made poor choices and then cleaned up one's act (e.g. got off drugs, no longer hangs out with sociopaths, etc.) I think it's very hurtful and unjustified to blow someone off that way.

Answer 22

No, true friends except you for you not the choices you made in the past.  I recently had a friend stop talking to me too.  I thought we were best friends but now I guess I'm just not that important to her.  Forget about them, find new friends that dont judge you for poor mistakes in the past,  we all make them.

Answer 23

Nonono. Bad friend, bad idea.

Hold it. I have made bad choices too, everyone has, and if someone else made your friend dislike you then she is NOT. A. FRIEND. Find someone else who can accept that you are a human being who makes choices, though they're not always the right ones.

Since I know how you feel, I would never cut a friend off because of bad choices, but if it was really serious, I mean really serious, I probably wouldn't want to hang around them anymore.

Answer 24

I have friends who have made very bad choices and I have made bad decisions myself.  Nobody's perfect.  But, how your friend reacts depends on her personality.  I would recommend giving your friend some space and then try talking to her.  If your friend is still unwilling to communicate with you, then it may be time to move on.  If she is really a true best friend, she may be upset, but will be willing to talk after she has time to think.

Answer 25

You just need to talk to her about it.  It very well could be that she has let someone else's input determine the outcome of your friendship, if so then, no, she is not a real friend.  All you can do is find out for yourself buy asking.  And if you find that is the reason well now you know you don't need her to be your friend. good luck

Answer 26

The story would be much more easy to understand and judge if you told us the bad choices you made.

I could very well think of a few that would make me wonder what kind of person my friend really is, and if I really know him/her.

If I were you I'd give her some time to let it sink in. Maybe she'll come to forgive you after a while. After all you did lie to her (hiding the truth can be considered lying).

She quit talking to you without an explanation but with a reason. Since you seem to know the reason, she may think you don't need her to explain.  

Answer 27

There are some people that can't handle things. They tend to run away from anything that has to be dealt with. It doesn't matter if they are classified as a friend or not, a person is a person. On the other hand I'm not a person who runs away, I'll stay to the end. Try talking to her about the problem and if that's not enough then move on.  

Answer 28

You say you did not commit any crime but made bad choices. Who hasn't? Everyone I know has made bad choices at some point or another. If it has nothing to do with her then no she is not a true friend for ending your friendship with no explanation. I do not run around telling everyone all the stupid stuff I've done. Who does? If you love someone you love someone, you can't turn that off. Maybe she never really was your friend.  

Answer 29

No, i wouldn't do that. But if i were you, i would explain to her about what i did. I don't want anyone to ruin my friendship, you know. You should talk to her about your poor past choices, and tell her that you ahve move on to make good choices. You just have to explain it to her face to face, so that she would understand.