Question:

Would adoption rates do down if Bio dads were held more responsible?

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Lots of talk about mothers who are "alone" and not able to care for the child. If bio dads were legally held more responsible for their children would this impact a mother's decision?

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  1. I think adoption rates would remain steady.  The dads would be just as irresponsible as they are today.


  2. I actually know more men who are single Dads where their wife or girlfriend has left them alone with the baby after she gave birth!

  3. "resounding applause" from this corner.  What about the dads indeed.   They don't cop half as much of the stick Mothers get, yet they were certainly half responsible for the pregnancy!

    My own mother lost me through lack of support from my father and her own family.  

    Whilst there are some wonderful responsible dads out there, there are those who just get away with it scot-free, dodging their responsibilities entirely.

    Great Question.

  4. I think it would make some difference, but I don't know that it would make a significant difference.  Look at the number of agencies/women who have circumvented the father's rights, not even giving him the opportunity to be a parent (custodial or non-custodial,) in order to relinquish?  The question get asked here plenty of times about whether or not the father has to relinquish his rights in order for the mother to put their child up for adoption.  I think there a lot more responsible fathers out there than people think.  It's always the bad ones who get highlighted, so the impression gets made that "they're all the same" so to speak.

    Not too many people give a rat's behind if father's rights get circumvented.  They're just men -- "sperm donors" -- after all.  For as much misogyny as there is, there's just as much misandry in our society.

    BTW, lately I've come across one too many children living with their fathers and whose mothers are in legal trouble for not paying their child support.

  5. Idiots are idiots,  it is easier for those guys to have his wages garnished for child support than for him to actually be around.  It's sick, and stupid, but the truth.  So stricter laws wouldn't help.  And the majority of kids up for adoption in the US are because they were taken from unfit homes and the parents either didn't care, or couldn't make the necessary changes.

  6. I think it could, if there were some type of guarantee; but sadly, even when ordered to pay child support, many people quite easily skip out and don't pay.  Nobody is going to come knocking on their door and demanding the money, kwim?

    Unless you can get their wages garnished, but again, if they don't have a job, there are no wages TO garnish.  It's a c**p shoot.

    I think one way to look at this is to start at home, with our young boys...teaching them the value of parenthood and family.  Along with the basic s*x talks, parents also need to instill in them the importance of being a father to their children if the do end up creating a child.  Because face it, folks; our kids are going to have s*x whether we like it or not.  It's better to talk about ALL of the ramifications...including how to be a father after sperm meets egg.

  7. I don't think it would.  Most responsible agencies do get the father's consent.  Its the agencies that bypass this that get the rest of us in trouble.  I do think fathers should be more accountable.  I think fathers need to realize what they are losing when they relinquish their rights.  In most states, prebirth relinquishments for fathers are allowed.

  8. They probably would because no one gets pregnant thinking they can do this on their own. That having been said, I don't know how adoption has become such a bad word. Adoption is a wonderful thing which gives people who cannot otherwise have children but are better able to afford to do so to have that wonderful experience and it often works well for the child too.

  9. I don't think so. there are lots of men out there who would give their left testacle to be with their children again. Some never were given the opportunity to be a parent. There are a lot of dead beat dads but not all men are like that. There are a lot of women who see men as nothing more than a non feeling sperm donor. Your never going to change that. You can teach your sons to be responsible parents but it doesn't mean that when the time comes he will be. Same as you can teach you daughters that men have rights as parents too. It doesn't mean she's going to include him in a decision she has already made up her mind on, especially if she thinks he's against what she wants.

    I too know some wonderful single fathers. Just like I know some wonderful single mothers. I taught my boys that no matter what you decide together you have to be willing to go it alone if that's what life hands you. Just be willing to take care of your responsibilities.

  10. Hi Cruzgirl,

    Yes I believe that if fathers were held more responsible for their children that there would be less adoptions. I know in my case, my mother would have kept me if my dad just helped her out a little instead of denying i was even his.

    I've heard of numerous cases where the agencies TRY AND HIDE the mother from the father of their child so that the adoption can go through.

    Fathers rights surrounding their children and "access to them" are alot less than a mothers. In some cases a father can lose his rights to his child if he's not on a registry for his state stating that he was sexually intimate with the childs mother. So if she disappears, and he never knows that he has a child, and doesn't sign up in the state registry, his rights are terminated.

    Its awful.

  11. I never thought that this question would ever be asked-  adoption is a good thing, when the birth mom realizes that it would be better for her baby- bio dad around or not.

    I think the question should be-  "would ABORTION rates be down if women and men really looked out for the best interest of the child, instead of their own feelings?"  Adoption is selfless. I have much respect for women and men who love their child enough, when they cannot raise him/her themselves that they place for adoption. Is anyone going to be positive about adoption anymore?

  12. Probably not.  Women who are alone are ABLE to look after a child.

    Women who give their kids away because " they cant cope," is not good enough. And that is rarely the reason for adoption.

    Single women can give their kids a good life.

    It's the dads loss if he buggers off. Legally they have to support financially. And kids can sometimes have good step dads.

    PS: Im a mother myself.

  13. Doubtful. You can force someone to financially support a child (and we are getting better at that) but you can't force someone to be a parent. A woman with no emotional support, be it from family, friends or the father, will have an extremely hard time raising a child no matter how much money there is.

    And a quick note from my father, the accountant: Couples who live in separate residences ALWAYS find it more expensive than if they lived together. You see it in divorce all the time, it is impossible to maintain the same standard of living if the parties are no longer living together. That's why the standard case of the man feeling bled dry and the woman feeling like it's not enough is so common: it is frequently the case that it costs the man more money and the woman receives less benefit than they had when they lived together.

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