Question:

Would appreciate some reviews. 3 poems. Please be honest. I know the structure is whimsical, but is that bad?

by  |  earlier

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THE STORM

Borrowed inspiration

Must suffice

Until I learn

To possess

It is not for clear-eyed children

Nor is it exclusively for the stormy-hearted

It is for clear-headed individuals

Ones who keep lucid

Ones who feel

The flavour of the day

From the tips of their aura

Down to calloused soles of relentless feet

Perseverance

Is the only currency

When it comes to

Deep-sea diving

Sifting through the murky depths

Staying under

Five minutes longer

Every time

Anchoring

Within themselves

The thought that

Their next breath

Though now only a distant probability

Will be more rewarding

Than if they were to turn back now

It’s all here

Seek it out

Do not fall victim to

Involuntary mnemonic interruptions

These smells

These sights

These ghosts

Will

In the end

Preserve you

In the eye of the storm

As you look around

At what once

Gnawed away at your instincts

Renavigated your dreams

Redefined your soul

The beautiful, twisted residue of what you almost became.

CALL ME GOD

Vices

Are like

Spices

One is bland without it

Addiction

Is an

Affliction

One is powerless before it

What makes me

Is also

What disintegrates me

Who I am

Is also

Who I am not

The glass is not half empty

The glass is not half full

It simply contains two halves of two elements

But that does not make it a whole

It only makes it interesting

Listlessness

Is not

Carelessness

It is a lack of comprehension

Which is not confusion

It is simply an unfinished journey

And if success lies in the journey,

Call me God.

(UNTITLED)

Time

A point in time

A life of endless pursuits has brought me

To this point in time

Where I feel

I finally feel

What it’s like

To run out of options

I finally realize that all my varied concoctions

Of blood, sweat, and pain

Guts, balls, and brains

Were all missing the one crucial element of

A shot.

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2 ANSWERS


  1. Call Me God is the best one. I loved it. The Untitled one can actually be entitled that, because it is obvious what its about and doesn't need to be named. A person can put themselves in it right away and can actually make their own name as the title. The first one is very nice as well. You are very talented and I would love to read more one day. Great Work!!


  2. UNTITLED, is awesome,i love it. you should call it LIFE.

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