Would i be disrespecting my partner???

Question

Hi, I'm not pregnant or anything but for the past 3 days all i have wanted was a apple pie and ice-cream from McDonald's!! So last night after dinner i put the kids to bed and went and got my desert! My partner was asleep on the lounge and he also new that i wanted it! So i tapped him on the shoulder to let him no i was going and to ask if he wanted anything! He said he didn't want anything!

So i came back and unusually left my rubbish on the table! I woke up at 6 this morning to him walking around banging things and swearing then he came in and said i disrespected him forgoing to McDonald's to get a pie and ice cream!

Please tell me what you think as this happens all the time!

One time i was outside and left my stereo on so instead of turning it off he punched it and it broke! I thought that was disrespectful but he said if i didn't leave it on he wouldn't of punched it

Answer 1

Yes it would be disrespectful to your partner if you both are doing it tough money wise and trying to keep the bills paid, but if the money situation is fine, then it shouldn't be a problem to go to McDonalds, but if it was me!!, as least I would not leave my rubbish lying around for all to see and put it in the bin.

Answer 2

This is a weird one.   I guess I've never ran off to McDonalds without treating my kids too.   Sounds kind of selfish if you ask me.  Not throwing your stuff in the garbage is disrespectable if you go treat only yourself, and then leave it all over so everyone knows you can feed your own face, but not theirs.

Just try and show him more respect by throwing away your McDonalds trash!

Answer 3

Goodness. Does he drink? Does he have mental issues/issues of any kind? It sounds like this could turn violent. Please speak to him in a polite, calm manor about it then talk to a therapist. He isn't making any sense!  

Answer 4

Sound's to me like he is just an ***hole who looks for any reason at all to pick a fight! My ex-husband use to do the same thing to me and if he couldn't find anything to fight with me about, he got to where he would make stuff up to fight about! Nothing I did or said stopped it and in fact everything I tried to do to counter it, just seemed to make it worse! I finally got tired of the bs and divorced him! And, I've not spend even one moment regretting my decision to divorce him! It was one of the best decisions I ever made! So don't spend too much more time putting up with it!

Answer 5

it sounds like your husband has an angry problem

Answer 6

If at all possible, see if you two can have a conversation on common grounds. Why not go to a  neutral place and fight ( conversation) fair? Stay to the issues that troubles you. Be honest and upfront about your issues and do not go off on a tangent. Small holes in a big boat can eventually sink. You need to fix those holes before they sink your relationship. I do not think it is the issue that Mc Donald's is two blocks or five blocks, it is the way how it was  handled. Life is far too short to key in on simple issues. Maybe it is a money thing. It might be a safety issue for your concern.What ever the situation is, talk about it.

Answer 7

He is immature and not saying what is really bothering him.  Maybe he wants time with you after the kids go to bed.  maybe he doesn't want a bad habit for you.  maybe he needs to talk to you like a real human instead of acting likes hes 2.  seek help.

Answer 8

He's displaying some strange bhavior but of course all we are hearing is your side.  Are you overweight?  Cause maybe he has concerns about that.  But that wouldnt explain the stereo.  He sounds really frusterated with you.  Are you messy & forgettful a lot of the time?  Maybe you 2 aernt cut out for eachother.  I wouldnt marry until things like this are ironed out.  

Answer 9

You are disrespecting yourself by being with someone so abusive. I have been married 32 years & my husband would never do that. His friends when I met him were a family of this guys that were like your partner. They beat up cars all the time but they were body & fender men so they could repair them. They beat up the houses & sometimes one of them had a broken arm, etc. They also beat their wives. I think their father showed them this or it may have been they had similar ways of thinking but you have to start thinking about how to become independent of him for the safetly of these children. If he can get anger management that works & this is your only problem with him then do something right away. If you have to go to a counselor then you go to learn what you can do to teach him & or to protect your family....No, you have not been disrespectul to him. You had no intention of that...be careful watching McDonald's commercials cause I used to watch them at night & have to have their food the next day so now I don't keep them on.

Answer 10

He needs to attend some anger management classes. i think you did nothing wrong. he's just a control freak!

Answer 11

I'd say your partner is disrespecting YOU.  He yelled at you for going to McDonald's, he broke your stereo, and you say things like this happen all the time.  He's the one with the problem, and he needs to smarten up in a hurry.  

Answer 12

im so sorry to say this but he has a little temper and it needs to be checked.out.more like anger management.you didnt do anything  wrong.you told him and i think you have a say that your going to mickey d's!maybe you should talk to him about that or get professional help from a therapists so he/she can tell you what you should do.orr try talking to him.say i dont no whi u got a temper or why your angry all i did was blah blah blah and thats nothing to get upset about.you should calm down.do you know what your saying/doing?

Answer 13

Wow. He has some anger issues. He sounds very controlling and a bit unstable. Just to protect yourself, make sure you take care of all your things (trash etc.)

He needs some Anger Management if he is breaking stuff. Is he violent?

If so, maybe instead of worrying about him, I would take care of myself. You may need to leave him if he refuses to change

Answer 14

It doesn't matter if you weight 500 pounds and require a crane to go to McDonalds.

It doesn't matter if he has to trudge through a pile of McDonald's wrappers knee-deep and swat flies all the way to turn off your karoke machine that you keep croaking into at 3 in the morning.

No one has a right to destroy your belongings.

No one has a right to use violence to intimidate you, which is exactly what he is doing.

No one has a right to use violence or threats to control or modulate your behavior to suit their personal convenience or desires.

If you continue to tolerate this behavior this is what will happen to you:

1.  You will lose your self esteem (which I can tell is already somewhat eroded) to the point where you doubt every original thought that comes to your head.

2.  You will lose your self esteem to the point where you believe that he is a saint to have to put up with your sorry *** everyday.

3.  You will be thankful that he only pushed you this time and not punch you like he said he wanted to.

4.  You will thank him for being so wonderful to remind you in no uncertain terms that you are a worthless piece of human flesh worthy only of his selfless, devoted instruction.

5.  You will be laying on the floor with a laceration above your swollen eye, a broken rib or collar bone and through your struggling breath will be praying that he believes you've finally gotten the hint and will cook dinner on time this time.

6.  You'll have a tag on your blue-grey toe, your family will be called to identify the body while they cry their eyes out wondering what they did wrong, the newspaper will have a little blurb about a domestic situation gone bad and your husband will be facing prison time, sharing his story with like-minded inmates who can't wait to find another human being to control because without that they feel like the worthless piece of sh## that they really are.

That's if you do nothing.  

You have choices, everyday you are free.  Free yourself from this sick person immediately.  Throw your broken stereo in the trash, you can buy another one as soon as you get out of the h**l you are sinking into.

Then buy yourself all the d**n ice cream you want anytime you want and celebrate that you are alive and free!