Would it be appropriate to have a donation jar for the bride-to-be's favorite charity at her bridal shower?

Question

I am hosting my best friend's bridal shower today and unfortunately JUST came up with this idea. I am not sure if it would be appropriate or not. Her mom is a breast cancer survivor and my friend has done breast cancer walks, made donations, and done all sorts of other things to support its research. Do you think it would be appropriate to have a little jar with a label stating the donations made will be sent away for breast cancer research? The shower is a "tea party" theme and it will be at her mom's house.

THANKS :)

Answer 1

that sounds like a great idea

will the guests also have to buy presents or are the donations in place of a present?

Answer 2

ABSOLUTELY! In fact (I'm a wedding planner so I think I'm entitled to give my opinion on this one) charity donations are the newest and most posh things to do for weddings and showers.  Also keep in mind, many brides now a days-if they've already established a home with their fiances and have all of their home furnishings- choose to ask guests to donate to their favorite charities instead of buying them gifts! Just a thought!

Answer 3

Since the party is today, it sounds like everyone probably bought the bride some gifts.  So,  you could make a 50/50 raffle as part of the door prize.....everyone (who wants to participate) buys a ticket (or multiple tickets).  At the end of the party the winner get 50% of the money.  The remaining money goes to the charity.

Answer 4

I personally don't have a problem with it, but I have an alternative suggestion.

I recently catered a wedding for a bride who made a sign and hung it from each of the guests chairs stating, in lieu of favors, she was donating X number of dollars to (insert charity) in her guests names. I thought this was a real classy touch!

Answer 5

That's a great idea.  

Answer 6

No that's not appropriate. Even though it's a nice sentiment, that is not the time or place for that to be done.

Answer 7

Please, dont listen to the answers who said it was a brilliant idea.

As much as this means to the bride and her family, it is inappropriate to solicit donations for any organization at a hosted party. If the bride wants, she can donate any cash she receives at the shower & wedding. But its wrong to suggest that guests donate, even for a good cause. There is a time and place for it, but its not at the shower.

Answer 8

How loudly can I shout TACKY.   While the sentiment is admirable ( if indeed the proceeds are going to a charity and not pocketed for say a honeymoon) it is still wrong to ask guests go come out of pocket with money no matter what the premise for the "donation".  I am not saying that theses people would dream of keeping the money for themselves but we all know there are folks out there that would do exactly that.  Since I would have no way of telling I would bypass such an "oppertunity"

Answer 9

I agree that donating to the cancer cause is a great idea, but one poster above was right, donate the cash given to her to the cancer society, don't ask for "extra" cash.

People will feel like they're expected to donate, especially since the mother will be there, and it's at her home, they will feel a definite obligation and perhaps leave a bit offended.  The primary purpose of a shower is gifts for the bride, there's no reason you need to suck more out of them, and I think it's a little rude, given the circumstances.

It is a great idea, but the shower is not the time or place.  I think it could be worked into the wedding reception somehow though, and there will probably be so many people, no one will notice who gives and who doesn't, and the guests are there to eat a free meal, so they won't feel like they are expected to donate.  But you don't ever want to mention that it's there, you don't want her wedding to turn into a charity benefit dinner...

Find a place for the jar that people will see it, maybe near the guest book or wishing well.  It's probably a good idea to start it out with some money as well, some loose change and maybe a few dollar bills, it encourages people to give when they see that others have as well.  (If you've ever seen a busker set-up, you've noticed that they always START with change in their hat or case.)

Answer 10

I think it's perfectly appropriate. The guests will likely be thrilled that your friend and her fiance' aren't being like so many couples who act like THEY'RE the needy cause =]

Answer 11

I've never seen that, but I see no harm in it. Though by the old etiquette rules, this was not done, soliciting for donations at a private party [unless the guests were told in advance, and that was the purpose of the party]. Consider though that people may not bring much money with them to a reception. It might be nice to get all the guests a little pin or bracelet to wear with the pink symbol on it. I've seen them just about everywhere, for varying prices. My local bead stores all have pink beads and breast cancer beads.

It might be a good idea to ask the bride if it ok, and after that you might ask the Mom. She might be embarrassed to take the spot light away from the bride.

Another good idea might be to call your local Breast Cancer Society office, and arrange to get some official breast cancer donation envelopes, and see what else they might have. They might have some stickers that could be affixed to a jar.

I'm not sure how I would feel about this if I saw it at a shower, and had not been warned that it would be there.  I would probably have a couple bucks to put in from  my purse.

Another idea is to have a little table at the shower, with pamphlets and information. But again, ask the bride and her Mom.

You know,  people who are cancer survivors, and their families have this cloud over their heads all of the time. Will the cancer come back,and when and  is it here now? They may want to get through the shower and the wedding without having to think about it.

Answer 12

I think that is a brillian idea! Why not help someone else out? And besides, it is the brides to be party right? I think people would be thrilled to help out and what's it going to hurt making the bride to be look like a saint? :)