Would it be kind of rude to ask a childfree these questions?

Question

Like if people don't want children like never and got married, strangers ask them "When are you going to have children" or "Why don't you have children, yet? Kids secure the relationship" or "Who's going to take care ofyou when you're older". Isn't that kind of rude to ask those questions?

If someone is childfree and are asked these questions, what are some good responses to get these people off their backs?

Answer 1

Tell them that just because you have children does not mean they will take care of you when you are older.  Also you could tell them that you are too busy traveling and having crazy s*x to think about such things.  

Answer 2

My typical response is that I have too much to do to bother with children - which is true.

I might also say that I love my partner too much to want any distractions from him - which is also true.

If anyone pushes for a better response, I give it to them. I outline my reasons (I have better things to spend my money on, I like not wearing vomit, I worked too hard to lose weight to ruin my figure with pregnancy, etc) ad nauseam until they leave me alone.

Nobody gets to question your decisions fro your own life. And good for you - you made the right decision not to have kids!!!!!!!

Answer 3

If I were in that position, I'd be tempted to fake a hysterical breakdown about how much we want kids and aren't able to have them, just to make the nosy person feel terrible.  

What I would actually do is give them my bright and breezy stock answer for all nosy questions:  "That's a very personal question.  Why do you ask?"  That's the response I used a lot when people kept asking me, "Aren't you done having kids?"  Or another annoying favorite, "You do know what's causing that, don't you?" *eyeroll*

People need to learn to keep their big yaps shut.

Answer 4

"Kids secure the relationship.."

That sure as h**l didn't happen in my case.

People need to learn to mind their own d**n business.  

Answer 5

there's really not a lot u can say except your enjoying your life the way it is. thanks

Answer 6

It may be very hurtful when a childless couple is asked why they do not have any children. I think the best answer for them would be: It is personal.

Answer 7

I guess it could been construed at rude, but it's the "norm" for couples to have children.

I would say, "we aren't going to have kids" and leave it at that. The Earths resources are already being depleted and adding more people to the Earth isn't helping. People shouldn't judge others for not wanting children.  

Answer 8

It is not rude, unless they follow up my answer with some rude comment.  This is a typical conversation:

New employee: “You have no pictures in your cube, don’t you have children?”

Me: “No, I do not”.

New employee: “Why?”

Me: “I didn’t want them, and I am happy with my life without them”.

New employee: “So are a psychopath?”.

Me: “No”.

New employee: “How can a straight man be 30, and have no children?”.

Me: “I am 42!”.

New employee: “No way!  You also had a face lift!  So you are a flaming g*y psychopath or something?”.

And so on.

Do divert their attention, I answer them in such a way that will blow their mind.  Just make a joke out of it, as follows:

Do you have kids?  Can we talk about your sexlife first?

Why don’t you want kids?  Why don’t you want to drop a hammer on your foot!

Are you having kids?  I am a Buddhist, and I am pretty sure I did in my last incarnation, and I didn’t like them very much.

Who is taking care of you when you get old?  The same people that are taking care of you (not your kids).

Why didn’t you have kids?  Well, show me a quality mom, and we can discuss it.

Were are your kids?  I sold them for a gram of coke, then sold the coke to your kids.

I am childfree, and I even ask people if thy have kids.  It is called an "icebreaker".

Answer 9

It is VERY rude.  My "child' status is no one's business but mine.  Maybe I'm not able to conceive and your question will hurt me emotionally.  Perhaps I just can't stand the little beggars and would never dream of breeding up my own when I can't stand those around me.  It's just not anyone's business but mine.

Good responses:  That's a very personal question and I don't feel I know you well enough to discuss it with you.  Or, you could get rude and respond with something like "How much is your monthly mortagage payment?  How often do you and your significant other have sexual relations?

Answer 10

Just tell them you want to wait. or you want to travel instead and see the world.. and let them either be content with that or if they ask again just say that you told them your reason. There is nothing new to add. Besides, children are only borrowed. It would be selfish to have children only with the hindsight that they have to take care of their parents in their old age. A lot of them don't do it and put their parents in a home and some really devote their health and their live to their old parents and miss out on their own life. As a parent i woudn't want to be a burden on my children if I had any. In my case I don't have any because I can't have any but I don't tell everybody that one hundred times.  I just say.. ''Because we decided to travel and had different plans, that's why we have no children and only to close friends I would tell the real reason. It's not other peoples business same as you don't go and ask ''Why do you have 5 children, can't you take the birth control pill or have your tubes tied""? that would be as rude to ask people who have 5 kids. If it's their choice and they can finance it and they take good care of all 5 children then I would not reprove them. I would only strongly object if children are neglected by their parents and maybe left to starve or left unclean.. then I would be concerned and get in touch with authorties  if I thouht a childs life was in danger other than that... everybody can do as they please and people will stop asking if you tell them once. Tell them ''NO I have a dog instead'' or anything. It's your choice and they won't help you bring up the child or children and some people just can't have children and they don't have to let everybody know that they are having problems conceiving that is a personal issue. x*x

Answer 11

Its rude very rude, if you really want them off your back, either say really "I don't appreciate you pushing the subject or asking about it."

If you want to lower them and get word around the community if there is a lot of people bothering you, tell them you have a low sperm count and its really upsetting to talk about such a personal subject. That should stop it for good if people don't take a subtle hints that your just never going to have children, I would go with being honest first and then if they really wont leave you alone go for the low blow, sometimes its the only way.  

For a woman if they wont take the hint truthfully you can go with the " Odd Shaped uterus" line.

I mean its never right to lie but when it gets to the point where your uncomfortable and people wont stop you have to humble them and in the future you possibly saved another childfree couple from being harassed they will think twice before pestering someone about children again.

Answer 12

When are you going to have kids?

1.  As soon as you start making it look like fun.

2.  When I'm ready to give up my disposable income.

3.  When our honeymoon stage is over.  We like our time together too much to share!

The truth is, people who have kids won't admit that it's not all fun and roses.  They miss their time and bodies and social life before they had children sometimes.  Seeing their childfree friends is a reminder of this.  But if EVERYBODY had kids like they do, they wouldn't feel so bad about it. So they try to suck you in.    

Answer 13

I have three grown children, but if I opted not having them, I'd probably have a  bank account with actual money in it, a horse ranch somewhere up in the hills, and a yacht at the nearest seaside marina. BUT, instead I have a mortgage that can't be refinanced because of the economy, drive a 10 year old sedan, and own a two man canoe.

Answer 14

People are rude to ask these questions because what if a couple wants to have children, but can't? It is rude to interfere in people's personal lives like that. But a lot of people have the belief that that is why you get married, is to have children. Just try to explain that you are happy with your marriage how it is, and move on.  

Answer 15

It is rude to ask these questions.  

When asked this, I answer, "I have kids all the time.. for dinner.  They're complimented well with asparagus and a nice glass of wine."

People just walk away from that one.

Answer 16

Tell them you dont feel you and your husband/wife dont want children and that its your choice, not the people asking. Why are strangers so interested in your personal life? Its your family, not theirs.

Answer 17

I think that this is the wave of the future with economy and finally being able to say, I never wanted children,

I myself have children, and wanted them  but I always admired people that I have known that never did want to and  that just never did,

I never realized how much people must have said things to them

thank you for sharing and I really hope this opens some eyes.

Just say to them"  I agree to disagree with you about children, case closed " and switch subjects,

all the best

Answer 18

Yes. It is VERY Rude. And I've been through it all the married years of my life. And it never ends. Why? People don't know when to shut their trap and mind their own business. Our answer has always been "We're not interested". And then they shut up.