Would it be rude to only invite immediate family?

Question

It it rude to invite just our parents, grandparents, siblings, nieces, nephews, and just our really close friends? My fiance wants to invite all of his aunts, uncles, and cousins but I just don't want such a big wedding! It's just not us... He doesn't even talk to his aunts and uncles very often but he says that there will be family issues if they aren't invited. I don't really care about having a big wedding, I just want to get married. He says it would be rude to not invite all 150 members of his family! I can do it and have no problem with it but he says it would be rude. Would this honestly be rude?

Answer 1

I don't think it's rude at all as long as you are very consistent on both sides.  No inviting just one aunt because she's the young and cool one.  Or leaving out one sibling because he drinks too much.  In fact, I think it's a great idea.

HOWEVER, if this is going to cause a lot of trouble in his family (for him, or more likely for his folks) then you might want to consider including aunts, uncles, first cousins, and their spouses (no "and guests").  Is that really 150?  Impressive.  Anyway, if they're not that close a lot won't come and so your wedding will only be a little bigger and you will have avoided one of those conflicts that can haunt you for years.  Either way, good luck.

Answer 2

I don't necessarily think it's rude. I am in the same situation, although it's me with the huge extended family. We eventually decided to keep it small, immediate family, grandparents, and closest friends only. We want the wedding to be more a of an intimate setting...

I don't know if this may be an option for you or not, but why not have your wedding ceremony & reception for the closest family, friends, etc... keep it simple and then a month or so later, have a big "reception" bash celebrating your recent marriage and invite all the extended relatives to that. It can be more casual and everyone can feel like they've been included and celebrating with you on for such a special occasion in your life.

Best wishes!

Answer 3

No, it would not be rude especially since he has little contact with those extended members.

Best wishes!

Answer 4

Go ahead and have your small wedding.  If he wants to have a big reception later, go for it.

Answer 5

It would be rude to disregard your fiancé's wishes.

Answer 6

just ask this is he wanting to do it for him or his family? if its for him then you should think of his wishes..... if its for his family then make sure he knows its NOT rude everyone should do it there own way

good luck

Answer 7

Not at all rude.

I am very close to one of my cousins, but he and his fiance are having a very small wedding, just their immediate families, so that means I'm not invited. That is fine with me, it's their day, their wedding. If you decide you want a small wedding, I think most people wouldn't mind at all.

I'm sorry his mom will get upset, but that is something he needs to talk to his mom about. It will be a hard conversation, but she isn't paying for it, so she shouldn't get a say.

Good luck and best wishes!

Answer 8

I was faced with a similar situation. His family insisted on a huge wedding with everyone they had ever known, lol. We wanted something small. My family was happy as long as I was happy.

Bottom line is it's YOUR (you and your fiance) day, not your family's. Do what makes you happy. I agree that spending money on your future is more important than on one day. Invite the people closest to you, everyone else will support you and understand. If they don't, then they aren't the people you would want to be there on your special day anyway.

By the way, we ended up eloping. It cost less than $100. Some people were upset for a week or two, but now no one even thinks about it. I ended up telling his mother that when she was a bride she could invite anyone she wanted. That also works with baby names. (When you give birth, you can name the baby whatever you like, until then I will ask when I want your opinion)

Good Luck!

Answer 9

Oh boy. Tough situation huh?! Sit down and really talk to him about it. Try to come up with an agreement where more people are invited but not all 150 people.  Or see if his mother/step dad are willing to help pay for the wedding.  If his mother is the one that wants it then maybe she should be the one pitching in for it.  How far away is the wedding?  

Mention to your maid of honor to get the wedding party together to throw you a jack&jill benefit which will raise money so everyone can be happy.  Yes, it'll cost more money- but it'll be paid for by the people showing up. Have each person in the party make like 2 or 3 baskets $10-$15 dollars or bring bottles of LQ or cases of beer. And sell raffle tickets for $5 or something & then. Have everyone sell the tickets to the jack&jill for $10 and of course pass around a basket for donations to the happy couple. Do it at night so food can just be fruit, chips, veggies...have it at a place that has a bar so its buy your own drinks.  I was just in a wedding & the bride walked away with well over $3000 dollars after the jack&jill was paid off.  It's something that a lot of people do for the bride&groom. It'll cost a couple hundred for the hall but everything else each person can pitch in on.

GOODLUCK!

Answer 10

Rude, no...upsetting to those not invited...could be....

My niece is having a very small wedding-only 40 guests, very immediate family so needless to say the vast gaggle of cousins and their better halves & kids will not be invited...that's their choice.

The way I figure, as long as you immediate family circle are invited,that's fine.....(parents, siblings, sibling's signif others,  siblings' kids, grandparents) Aunts, Uncles, cousins-if the wedding is large enough to handle it....

...and if his mom wants a bigger wedding, then maybe she should add a few coins to the wedding coffer if ya know what I mean....good luck.

Answer 11

Well you cant invite close family and friends... family should be before friends!

what you can do, have a very Small ceremony with who you are close to and have a bigger reception party later with everyone so no one gets left out.  

Answer 12

Rude is in the eye of the “wronged.” In my family, yes, there would be some serious drama if we excluded aunts, uncles and cousins from the wedding. We’re just accustomed to involving the extended family in major life events. Maybe your family isn’t like that. This is a great chance to exercise your compromise muscles because won’t be the last time that you’ll have to reach agreements about events involving family.