Would it be wiser for most men to ask for pre nups before getting married?

Question

I have noticed that a lot of women feel that a man asking for a pre nup has trust issues, but is it really such a bad idea for man to ask for a pre nup? It’s so easy to get a divorce, and so profitable (usually for women) that there’s no real reason for them to stick it out. The courts and the assorted impedimenta are heavily stacked against men, no matter the circumstances. I have seen so many of my friends that have been ruined by divorce. They barely see their children(if the ex wife is still in the state),they have no money,they can’t save for retirement,they live in conditions well below that of their ex-wives who usually get to keep the house(houses that were often bought and paid for by the very men who lost them),they are ignored by the courts and there is always the risk of going to jail for fake domestic violence charges( i have seen it myself). So with all this risks is not wiser for men to ask for pre nups?

Answer 1

Sometimes I wish pre nups would become madatory because divorce settlements are a two edged sword, they give the women all the privaleges and at the same time make the men so commitment-shy its hard for them to even want to formalise any relationship.

Answer 2

Bottom line, if you have to ask for a pre nup or accept one you should not be getting married.  That means you do not truly believe in the relationship.  Perhaps we should work on the problem...divorce...rather than the symptoms.

Answer 3

The reality in this modern age is that men have everything to lose and very little to gain from marriage and divorce, the root cause of this is the gross difference in expectations and accountablility.if things go well then everyone's happy, if things go wrong, you (as a man) lose your house,your kids (women are much more likely to get physical custody), you lose your money and often suffer emotionally ,whereas women earn the most from it since, they get to keep the kids,they get alimony and child support,they get to keep the house as welll as half of your assets and properties often regardless of who worked for what....meanhile I can understand some women's arguments to some degree - it is utterly unfair when a man leaves his homemaker wife of 20+ years for a secretary and the wife is left destitute.  However these same women tend to forget that there are many more women who break their marriage contracts without a better reason than that they were bored. To reward such a woman or an adulteress with the cheated husband’s money is utterly unfair to the husband. I think such women shouldn’t be awarded custody, either. Marriage is a contract and it used to be a binding contract,the party which breaks it should not be able to earn from it so easily. In fact I think men in today’s world are really only members of their own families at the discretion of the children’s mother.Women have squared equal rights with certain legal privileges all sans responsabilities  and this is at the core of the Divorce problem for men - the Law is stuck in 1958, picturing women as penniless damsels and men as ogres even though women have gained many rights since then .....at the end of the day when taking into consideration all the risks and benefits, all the pros and cons of marriage as well as divorce and the incentives to be gained by both marriage and divorce depending on gender, it is without any a shadow of doubt wiser for a man to request a pre nup before marriage, it is is not pessimistic for a man to do this, it is prudent for the stakes are way too high to be anything but prudent when it comes to this issue.

Answer 4

No, instead they should try to

develop a relationship with their hand.

You know you want to.

Answer 5

Wise for anyone to ask.  Women stand to lose a lot as well.

Answer 6

Logically speaking, it's wise for anyone male or female to get a pre-nup. Based on statistics, most marriages do end in divorce so protecting yourself is a good idea.  Women are not the only gold diggers out there, trust me. There are tons of guys out there who do the same and I am speaking from personal experience!  I also have a female friend going through a divorce who is losing her house (she paid for half of it) and basically has to start from scratch now.  And why is she getting a divorce? Because her husband couldn't keep it in his pants.   It's not fair to make blatant generalisations and say all men are pigs, or that all women are gold-diggers!!  There are just a lot of jerks out there, that's all.  I myself have always taken care of myself financially. I bought my first house at 29, my car, my trips everything I pay for myself.  But, the province where i live the laws is that if my boyfriend were to move in with me, after 6 month of living with me - just living together not even being married -  he would be legally entitled to half of what I own! So my opinion is that everyone should protect themselves from being taken advantage of and it has nothing to do with their s*x.

Answer 7

My General rule of thumb on the matter:

If you are rich going into the Marriage then yes, to protect your assets before the marriage

If not:

If you as a couple want your her to be a stay at home mother then no you shouldn't get a prenup

If you as a couple want her to work then yes you should get a prenup because she isn't suffering from lose of career

If you as a couple don't know what kind of family structure you want, then you shouldn't be getting married

Answer 8

Speaking from experience The best way to s***w up a relationship is to get married in the first place. If you feel the need to want to get Married you will save a lot of lawyer fees  by going out and finding a girl that you hate and just give her your house and every thing you worked hard for . That said asking a girl for a pre nup makes you a brave man But don't be surprised if she turns her head 360 degrees and spits pea soup all over you!

Answer 9

I think a pre-nup is a acceptable idea for anyone.  Look at the divorce rates..they have skyrocketed.  Even the happiest marriages can fail and things get UGLY during a divorce.  My husband and I don't care about money, we don't have a pile of it either so a pre-nup was never even remotely considered.  I guess it all depends on how much you like cash...I don't know, depends on the person.

Answer 10

Today pre nups are as essential as any other part of the marriage. Also given the high divorce rate, it is practical and beneficial for both.

Answer 11

I'm a big believer in pre-nups, as they eliminate marriage being reduced to financial gain or loss.  Out of a great respect for the institution and its presumed intention of a commitment of love and loyalty and family, I would suggest that anyone should agree to remove the allegation that any party is entering into it for financial gain.  This goes for both men and women, by the way.

Answer 12

Should be mandatory along with dna testing for any possible kids. Its 2008 and both parties usually work. Its just smart to plan financially for the future.

Answer 13

I don't think MOST men have anything to worry about, as MOST women aren't selfish, gold-digging b__ches. But I'd get one anyway.

Answer 14

There shouldn't be pre nups. Marriage is a life thing. It should be forever. That's how it is intended

Answer 15

in 2008, u need it...TRUE love is an endangered thing these days so if u wanna protect what u and only u have worked hard for, id protect it...my thing is, after its signed, just act like it isnt there, if things go OK, it will never be used...

Answer 16

If you can trust the other person then don't ask for one....BUT (and this goes for both parties) there is alot of $$ involved then I think it would be OK as long as there was an agreement to give support any children that where involved.

Answer 17

Sure, just as it is for women to ask for pre-nups as well.  After all, married women do work as well and sometimes earn more money than the husband.

Shoe on other foot- Women would like their assets protected from a stay at home dad who decides to divorce and take half the assets.   Really, should women should leave them with nothing because their contributions at home apparently hold no value just as housewives/Sahms apparently don't?

Answer 18

I don't know much about how divorce settlements work, but the impression I get is that this would be a very good idea. Maybe it should even be compulsory. You wouldn't (well, I wouldn't) take on a job without a contract, so why take on a marriage?

Having said that, the same people that whinge about divorce settlements here are sometimes the same people that whinge about other stuff that I DO happen to know a bit about, and they're often wrong. So in reality it may not be as big of a problem as it's made out to be here. Still, I think pre-nups would make the whole process (divorce) a lot easier.

Edit

Shivers - yes, women should be able to ask for them too, definitely.

Answer 19

What a sexist question-you're assuming that only married men make more than their wives or lose assets or lose custody of their kids or lose tons of money in a divorce or lose their retirement. I made more than my ex-husband and supported him when he couldn't get a job with an MBA-I lost far more money in our divorce than he did. I was paying the majority of the house payments and of course we sold the house and divided the proceeds 50/50 along with everything else including our savings. If you're so worried don't get married-I"m not.

Answer 20

It has been shown that after a divorce, a man lifestyle increases while a women's and her children's lifestyle decreases.  Nowadays most states are not generous with their decisions and often after less than 10 years after a marriage a woman will no longer be able to claim dependency.  I have a case of a 70+ year old woman who will certainly live in poverty.  The judge considers her to be able to find a job.  Her husband continues to live a very comfortable lifestyle.  After 50 years of marriage and a number of children, the woman is basically left to live on the stoop.

Answer 21

Well the answer is pretty simple to me - if you are thinking about divorce and who gets what BEFORE you are even married then it's doomed anyway. Marriage is a serious commitment and you shoudl have perfect love and trust - if you are worried about your wife divorcing you and taking your money you're obviously not ready for marriage mate.

EDIT: I feel sorry for whoever is giving the thumbs down, when you are in love and ready for marriage you will understand what I am saying.