Would it be wrong for my husband and I to go out without the kids?

Question

My ex-husband had planned a trip with his girlfriend and her daughters, and our 14 year old son for this weekend. Problem is it's my weekend for visitation with our son, so they cancelled their trip (long story short, ex-husband makes me stick to the paperwork when it favors him, but when it comes to my time with my son, he expects me to "work" with him when he "accidentally" plans things during my time. This is the only 3-day weekend left in the year, and I don't have anymore vacation...so I stuck to the paperwork on this one). I plan to spend all day today with my son, but my husband and I are going on a date tonight with another couple. I suddenly feel guilty about this...like, since I was the cause of the vacation cancellation that I have no business letting any time with my son go by without me being in it. That it should be constant fun and activities for him now to make up for the loss of not going on the trip with his Dad. Should I cancel the date night? And, while we're at it, am I a bad person for sticking to the paperwork?? I know, two questions, but I'm struggling with some guilt at 7:42am (haven't had coffee yet, either...:)

Answer 1

no not at all. u need a break every once in a while.

Answer 2

You need some down time for yourself, yes do this.

Answer 3

It does kind of suck that you are going to go out after you made sure you got him.

I think you should reschedule your date night for Next weekend.

Do something fun with you son instead.

  

Answer 4

There's nothing wrong with you & your husband wanting time alone.  My wife and I enjoy getting some time alone without our kids.  Because you need time away from your kids now and then to keep your sanity.

Answer 5

Don't feel guilty. You may have already been planning your date night. It is only ONE night. Have something fun planned for your son while you are out to dinner. The rest of the weekend is for fun with your son. Ex will have to remember to follow the paperwork next time or clear it with you.  

Answer 6

Go out tonight and have a good time with your friends.  You have all day and the rest of the weekend to do things with your son, and he's old enough to hang on his own anyway.  Let him have a friend over tonight if he wants.  And there's nothing wrong with sticking to the paperwork--you have a life too.  Enjoy your coffee.  (time for me to get a refill :)).    

Answer 7

So long as you have a really good day with your son, if your friends date is in the evening I'm sure your son will want to do something at home, make sure you also give him a good time in the morning, try to make sure this doesn't happen again, put your son first and yours & ex husbands feelings last.

Answer 8

i feel like its alright,,, but maybe u and ur ex should try to b a little more relaxed about the paperwork,,, this is the problem with divorce and custody/visitation it only hurts the child,,,its about ur sons happiness not paperwork

Answer 9

QUESTA è LA TRADUZIONE IN ITALIANO:Questione aperta Mostrilo un altro„ Sarebbe errato affinchè il miei marito ed I esca senza i capretti? Il mio ex marito aveva progettato un viaggio con la sua amica e le sue figlie ed il nostro figlio di 14 anni per questo fine settimana. Il problema è it' la s il mio fine settimana per visitation con il nostro figlio, in modo da ha annullato il loro viaggio (il bicchierino lungo di storia, ex marito mi rende il bastone al lavoro di ufficio quando lo favorisce, ma quando viene al mio tempo con il mio figlio, lo prevede a " work" con lui quando lui " accidentally" progetta le cose durante il mio tempo. Ciò è l'unico fine settimana di tre giorni lasciato durante l'anno ed I don' la t avrà più vacanza… in modo da ho attaccato al lavoro di ufficio su questo). Progetto di spendere tutto il giorno oggi con il mio figlio, ma il miei marito ed io stanno continuando stasera una data con lle altre coppie. Ritengo improvvisamente colpevole circa questo… come, poiché ero la causa dell'annullamento di vacanza che non ho commercio lasciare in qualunque momento con il mio figlio per andare vicino senza di me che sono in esso. Che dovrebbe essere divertimento ed attività costanti per lui ora per compens perare la perdita di non andare sul viaggio con il suo papà. Dovrei annullare la notte della data? E, mentre we' il Re esso, sono una persona difettosa per attaccare al lavoro di ufficio?? So, due domande, ma I' m. che lotta con una certa colpevolezza al 7:42 (haven' la t ha avuta caffè ancora, l'uno o l'altro…:)

Answer 10

Have a good time you deserve it.

Answer 11

no its a little mother father time out

Answer 12

Okay, I'm not clear, but since it's your weekend for visitation, I'm assuming ex has custody and your son lives with him.  

If you only see him every other weekend, I would think you should devote the weekend to him.  

your son will tell your ex and it will be an issue.  

just my opinion.  

Answer 13

ITs perfectly fine for you to go out with your husband. You are going to spend all day with your son anyway, and if he's anything like my 14 year old , he will be ready to have time without you tonight!

Enjoy yourself tonight, you have done nothing wrong.

Answer 14

You are not a bad person for sticking to the paperwork. He knew that it was your weekend.. so why would he make plans? Did he not have enough sense to look at the calendar before making plans to take a trip ? You are only going out tonight. It is not like you are going on a trip and he is staying with the babysitter for 3 days. GO out with out feeling guilty !