Would it be wrong to have a child. ? ? ?

Question

After have given one up for adoption in the past. Does that seem kinda wrong.

Answer 1

There are lots of wrong reasons for having children but having given a child up for adoption in the past isnt one of them.

Answer 2

My mother never had children after she gave me up for adoption.

I have to admit I'm kind of glad she didn't.

Answer 3

It's not wrong at all.  It won't fill that empty place that you have in your soul from losing your first child to adoption, but because you relinquished a child certainly doesn't mean you aren't entitled to be a parent.

Answer 4

It doesn't seem wrong, but Gershom raises a good point.  My first mother had children just a couple of years after relinquishing me.  She realized that she couldn't replace me with other children.  She loves the sons she raised.  But her feelings of loss over me didn't go away.  Just be prepared for different emotions is all.  You're in different circumstances now.  You may feel some sadness over the child you relinquished, but that's no reason to punish yourself for the rest of your life.

Good luck.

Answer 5

Why on earth would it be wrong?

The only reason I can think of for someone asking this question is if they believe birth mothers are unfit mothers. If this is you... if YOU are a birth mother and are feeling the need to ask this... please, please, stop listening the voice inside that is telling you you're a bad mother. Please. (((Hugs)))

If you're not a birth mother and you're asking this question, please go read some of our stories. We're not all unfit. Please don't contribute to the stereotypes that abound about us.

Answer 6

Just because you have given a child up for adoption, doesn't mean you have condemn yourself to be childless for the rest of your life.   You apparently weren't ready to be a parent the first time around and made the hardest decision of your life.  But your life must still go on and you can be the best parent now to other children.  Don't condemn yourself for the hard decision you previously had to make.

Answer 7

no you woun't but if learned something and if you ready for being a mother.

Answer 8

I gave my daughter up in 1972, her father and I married a year and a half later, then in 1977, we had our son.

Answer 9

no its not wrong maybe the person wasnt ready then but is now

Answer 10

No that just means your situtaion changed and you can raise one now

Answer 11

If you are strong enough and able to care for a child now, I see nothing wrong with it at all.  You should not be judged simply because you made an adoption plan for a previous child.  

Good luck to you.

Answer 12

Not at all. You would hopefully be in a place where you're able to care for that child, emotionally, financially and physically. If you still aren't, then you should hold off on having another child. But I don't see how it's wrong at all. I chose to give my girl up, but I most certainly plan on having children in the future when I'm ready.

Answer 13

absolutley not !..

I have my girl, 6 today..I had one..that would be 13 now..it may seem wrong, but no , I dont think so. I was not in a position to have the other one.But with 6 yr old, i was..thank goodness for her...it has been a blessing in soo many ways, ya know?

Answer 14

Only have a child if you feel you are ready

Answer 15

As a bio mother I punished myself for 20 years before allowing myself to have children. Back to back children after giving one up I'd say no don't do it for all the reasons already stated, but don't punish yourself forever either. My daughters bio dad never had any other children and that makes me sad. If you are in a better place and you can now raise a family, do it. You weren't meant to be punished for what you did. I felt the same way you did and I was wrong. I have 2 beautiful boys whom enjoy having a sister and vise verse. My daughter loves my boys with all her heart, just ask her. She is Rachael on this site.

Answer 16

why would you give one up for adoption in the first place? if you really feel like you made a mistake the first time, you should definitely have another child. everyone seems to be having kids now a days, no matter what age. just take Jamie Lynn spears.

Answer 17

It would be wrong only if you haven't done anything to improve your life. Giving your child away is a big sacrifice not just for the parent but the child. You decided that you didn't have what it took to be the parent you thought your child needed. As long as you learned form your mistake and made something out of the sacrifice. It's not wrong to start having children.

Answer 18

Well, if you are having another child and are in the same circumstances as the last one where you had to give up the last one it would be wrong.  But if you had changed your circumstances and could now take care of this new child it is not wrong of you.  A young mother can be doing the right thing when she gives up a child from a teenage pregnancy but still be doing the right thing by having a child she can support once she is married and financially stable.

Answer 19

Raising first child...and due to circumstances out of my control, relinquished the second child.

Because of this, the whole world seems to feel I am unfit to care for my older child.

Answer 20

my first mother tried for years and was never able to. I loved finding siblings on my dads side when I found him. I dn't think its wrong, go for it. It may bring up things emotionally for you, it may be hard, you may grieve, you'll never replace the child you lost, but it doesn't mean you can't love your next a whole lot :)

Answer 21

No, it happened in my family. My brother-in-law had a son with his wife who had 2 kids from a previous marriage. Their dad kidnapped them and they were sinking every penny into finding them and so when she got pregnant, they were going to abort because the baby was just 2 months old, and they had no money, she was an emotional wreck with all this going on. But his mom said she would take the baby if she went through the pregnancy, and she would always be able to see him. A year later, she got pregnant with twins. She regretted giving up her baby before and she couldn't do it again. I think a lot of moms would realize that.