Would it bother you if your husband or boyfriend watched p**n on the net?

Question

my husband and i have been married for 2 years. our s*x life has went downhill since we had a baby last year. i didn't know he liked p**n until i was looking as his history of websites visited and clicked on one that i didn't recognize. it was p**n. local women not pornstars. what do you think and how would you feel about it? he works alot but other than that he is almost always home with us. i am confused about it. he said that he has done that ever since we have been together and before we met but i never seen him look at p**n or knew about it until now. what makes it so bad is that most of the women are worse looking than me and he said so too. so, why would he still want to see them naked?

Answer 1

you can install NetDog p**n Filter : http://www.netdogsoft.com on the computer, it blocks all p**n quitely and automatically when your bf's on the computer.

Answer 2

I would not be happy if I found out my partner had been visiting Local sites.  To me that would indicate that he was looking for a lover to meet in real life instead of just in his head.  s*x can and does take a dive after having a baby.  But it doesnt have to stay that way.  Send the baby to grandma's  once in a while.  

When he starts having trouble making love without the p**n then start worrying.  That I consider an addiction and a sure sign of trouble.  

Get him to stay away from the local sites and send the kid to grandma's.

Good Luck  

Answer 3

Hmm, I really dislike when my boyfriend looks at p**n.

Im 26 and he's 20 (we've been together for a year). Recently I found p**n mags in his bedroom that were called "Barely 18"....they were young girls...not at all like me. I was really upset about it....he tells me all the time how gorgeous Iam...If im the one he wants then why does he need to perv on chicks 8 years younger than me....Anyway, he knew it upset me and threw the magazines out.

Anyway, im not sure what my point is only that all men seem to watch/look at p**n and all women seen to get jealous and insecure about it. Maybe its bought on by a fear of rejection or something?

You can tell him how you feel and ask him to stop but chances are he wont. This might be something you need to turn a blind eye too.

Alternativly you could get some p**n for yourself (s*x shops sell p**n for women...naked men in magazines)....keep it in your bedroom and see how he reacts to it!  

Answer 4

re: what do you think and how would you feel about it?

.....First, the real question is: exactly what bothers you about p**n?

Is it your own inadequate self esteem/respect or a significant moral principle?

If it's your own inadequate, fragile, fearful, insecure self esteem........fix that before taking on his behavior.

If it's about a significant moral principle, do whatever a healthy, high self esteem person would do.

If you still don't know.....google relationship tips

Answer 5

Yes I would be very upset. I am married also and I would feel extremely disrespected. I would feel like my body wasn't good enough or the way I preformed wasn't good enough. I just think that watching p**n is almost a form of cheating especially because you found out about it on your own. It wasn't something that he told you himself. That just seems a little sneaky to me. I would feel like wow... is there more that I don't know about, that I will have to stumble upon myself. I would be afraid that maybe a strip club would be next and possibly a lap dance. I hope you don't mind me being completely honest but I was in somewhat of the same situation w/ my husband once and I had just had our daughter. I wasn't feeling all that great about my body to begin with. I felt so hurt that here I carried our child and my body wasn't quite back yet and he was looking at someone Else body. I personally wanted to kick his ***. Everyone's different. I asked my husband to stop that I felt offended by it and he did and I have been married for 18 years now, and was married at 18. If you don't like him watching it honey speak up and let him know how you feel. Good luck and take care.

Answer 6

No big deal...wow.

Answer 7

Even if I don't like it, I would deal with that part of it because he's a man and men do like to look at other women. As long as I'm sure he's not cheating on me, then I don't care if he looks at some pictures.

Answer 8

You're going to have to have a very good talk with your husband and make it crystal clear that either the p**n goes or you will have to take some time apart.

He has some serious sexual issues and is using the p**n as a substitute.  And there is absolutely no reason to use p**n to substitute love making between husband and wife.  It is not rocket science what is going on while he's watching the p**n.  If he continues he will likely find you less and less desirable and want to satisfy his appetite by finding p**n that is more graphic.  He will likely not be satisfied with this and may well seek out the real thing.

Pornography is often addictive and if he's been doing this since prior to you getting married then he has an addiction.

Contrary to the opinions of others not all men are wired or enjoy looking at p**n- especially married men.

By indulging in his p**n fantasies he is robbing himself (and you ) of the joy of physical and emotional intimacy between a husband and wife.  You may well become simply a s*x object to him. Similar to what he views on his computer monitor.  It will no longer be love making between husband and wife but merely  a mechanical exercise for sexual self-gratification.

I would urge you to sit down with your husband, give him an opportunity to explain why he's doing this and see if he's willing to give it up.  If he's not then 3rd party intervention is a must if you want to save your marriage.    If he says he will quit but you discover later down the road that he lied to you then you will have to take some time apart.  As a wife you cannot compete with what is being allowed into the matrimonial home via the internet.

By the way, regarding your observation that some of these women are not as attractive as you are?  It doesn't much matter in his mind.  It is all part of his fantasy.

Answer 9

No it wouldn't bother me because I would have left him the second I found out about it. Immature perverts don't interest me.

Answer 10

It would more than bother me...it would make me mad as h**l.  p**n can become very addictive.  Can we say David Duchovny.  Apparently he would rather look at ugly women than have s*x with you.  Not a good sign.  

Answer 11

My husband looks at p**n on the internet and it doesn't bother me a bit.  If he wants to sit in front of a computer screen and spank the money, that's his sorry problem.  But I would absolutely draw the line at LOCAL women.  The anonymous girls on most p**n sites are far away and unavailable, but the local ones are women trying to hook up with local men.  He shouldn't get into that scene AT ALL.  Put your foot down woman, or put it up his a$$....

Answer 12

Trust me, don't waster any brain space on it.  Most men look and watch p**n, alot.  I do not mean this to alarm you, but I do see it as a little odd that your husband chose to look at "local" naked women.  There are friends finders websites, etc., where they actually meet for s*x.   Next time you are able, go back in and see what these girls are offering "locally."   Some are phone on-lin chats, which he may be doing.    

Answer 13

It's really not a big deal and if you make too much of it, it becomes "forbidden fruit" and that much more enticing.  

Answer 14

I would feel weird if my husband was "sneeking" p**n, but as long as it wasn't an addiction and he was open about it. I am cool.

My hubby and I agreed to only watch together.

HOWEVER, i might feel a little weird if it were local women we were watching!!

Answer 15

>>> so, why would he still want to see them naked? <<<

Well, only he really has the answer to that.

My best guess is that he is desperate to see a woman who looks like she's really getting her rocks off, and he's not getting (enough of) this from you.  Not judging you, I understand there are all kinds of interesting changes that happen w/a child, but there it is.

The "local women" part bothers me a lot.  Some guys like Amateur Hour or whatever you want to call it, that's fine, but if it was me, the "localness" of it would be too close to reality for my taste.  Perhaps it was morbid curiousity, or maybe he felt better if he knew they were uglier than you, or perhaps it was a shadow of the beginnings of a bad plan.  Whatever it was, I think that aspect of it needs to be shut down.  I've no problem with p**n (unless it was at my sexual expense), but the characters involved (even if they're ugly) should remain strictly in Fantasyland

I am shocked that you two appear to have never talked about p**n before you got married.  I'm not sure how much more of it there is to talk about now, he seems to have been fairly open with you on that front, but if you have questions, keep asking (and try not to pre-judge).  

Eventually, and this may not even be related to the p**n, you two are going to need to work on the sexual aspect of your marriage, because it seems like there are starting to be consequences.  Personally I know I need intimacy, and making love is a good way to express that.

Good luck.

Edit: in response to your additional details: your husband should make an effort to understand that p**n is a special problem for you due to your past and that he needs to make at least *some* accomodations.  You should make an effort to understand that your husband is not like your ex and never will be.  Personally it would frustrate me incredibly to have an ex's problems put on me without me even deserving it.  p**n and cheating seems to go hand in hand in a lot of peoples' minds.  All I can say is, a lot of us just aren't wired that way.

Answer 16

OK. This is my 2 cents.

For your main question, no, it doesn't bother me that my husband looks at p**n. I work some crazy hours, plus go to school full time. I'm tired and I'm not always in the mood when he is. So the p**n is a substitute. Trust me. He prefers me, but the p**n takes care of the urge.

Now, what concerns me is the fact that its local women p**n. That is NOT acceptable! The reason I could care less about p**n stars is they are just fantasy. They're not easlily attainable for him. Someone local is.

As for why he wants to look, that's easy. They aren't his! The only guy who won't look at a girl showing her b***s is a g*y man. Guys like to look. Easy as that. And at least he's saying he prefers yours.

You two need to sit down and have a chat about this. He needs to know your feelings about p**n and you need to come to a compromise that works for both of you. Good luck!

Answer 17

Not really. Because I tend to watch it with him.

But the thing is that we've been open about our like for p**n since the beginning. We watch it together and even get new ideas from them to spice up our love life. ^_^

Answer 18

most married men will watch pornas a sexual outlet.when my wife is too tired to mess around I wait till she's asleep and bam!!Porno,porno,porno...as long as it's regular p**n you shouldn't worry.now if he tries to act out what he's watching and wants to rough you up or stick blunt objects in you,then there's a problem