Would it not be cool to miss my son's event?

Question

My husband and I purchased tickets to a concert three months ago, and invited another couple to go. A few weeks ago an opportunity came up for my 13, soon-to-be 14, year old son to attend a "teen" workshop the same weekend as the concert. The last day of the workshop (and same day as the concert), there is a 30 minute "graduation" that wraps up the event. If my husband and I (my husband is his step-Dad) attend the graduation, we will probably miss 1/3 of the concert (and my favorite band, which opens). My son's Dad will be at the graduation, however, so he will have representation. Would it be bad for me not to go?? I'm struggling with this...no harsh opinions, please.

Answer 1

When my kids were that age, I tried to attend every one of their events, regardless of what I had to sacrifice.  While I don't regret that, more often than not, they told me they "didn't care" whether I came.  I went because I wanted to go, not because it made a big difference to them.  

Since you made your plans before you knew about this event, and since his dad will be in attendance, maybe his dad could videotape the event and you could watch it with your son later.  My daughters loved watching videos of their concerts and athletic events with me.  It gave them a chance to provide commentary. Often I got more details that way than from being in the audience or on the sidelines.

Answer 2

Children come before you own desires every time.

Answer 3

I know that as a kid growing up at that age, when my parents chose me over anything else made me feel like they really cared about what I was doing and the progress I was making in my life.  

If you chose to skip, your son might feel like you don't see him as important as a band and may (subconsciously) resent you for it for a long time.  He may also feel like you don't love him as much as a band "you can see anytime".  You know?  And the fact that his dad is going, may make his lean toward his dad for future problems and events because he may feel like you may not care or be there for him when he needs you.

Answer 4

Well, its not like its his school graduation. I'm sure your son will understand. But i really think you should go to your concert.

Its a hard decision, but talk to your son and explain things to him. Make sure that he knows what is important to him is very important to you but you would like to do this one thing that you have been waiting for for a while.

Maybe have his father record it so you can watch it the next day.

Answer 5

Well, I would go to the concert. The graduation is only 30 minutes! It dosn't mean you don't love your son. He's 14 and you know there will be so many more events you will attend.

Answer 6

Go to the graduation. If your son worked hard at the workshop, and you don't show up, he may get the feeling that his effort doesn't matter.

Answer 7

no, I don't think so. my husband and I often send "representation" of either him or I at my children's events. sometimes a parent just can't go and that's just the way it is. If we can both go, it's great but also there will be many more opportunities for you to go to your child's events.

Answer 8

not trying to be harsh, but that is an accomplishment for your son and that is more important then a concert. i think your son is more important then seeing your favorite band... maybe your hubby now can just find a friend that can go with him so that the tickets do not go unused... or you can always sell the tickets... but either way you should be at that ceremony.

Answer 9

You should go to the concert.  Your son is old enough to understand.  I doubt he even expects you to go to the graduation.  Plus, his dad is going and that might be nice "dad time" for them.

Answer 10

Chances are that your son doesn't really care either way. Just talk to him and ask him what he thinks. Don't be like you are going to ruin our concert if we have to go though...just ask if he wants you there or not. Tell him you had something scheduled, but that you can miss it if he needs you there.

Answer 11

I was going to say its only a small graduation and there is no reason to miss the concert, I dont think your son would mind. But if you would only miss a third of the concert, (if I was your son that is) I would be offended to think you missed my graduation for something I worked had at just because you wanted to see some band. Its a little harsh.

Answer 12

The concert was booked first and his dad will be there so I say stay at the concert.  It's not like it is his high-school graduation or anything.

Answer 13

Why don't you ask him? If he wants you there, if it means that much to him, then go. If he doesn't care that much, or if he understands how cool it is to see your favorite band live (he DOES get to see HIS favorite bands in concert, right? right?) then he might be understanding and let you go to your concert instead. Basically, go ask his permission.

Answer 14

That IS kinda tough. Find out how ur son feels about it, his opinion should be tha deal breaker. It is only a workshop graduation, not like, high school or anything, but if it means a lot to him that u be there, then go, u don't want him 2 regret u 4 it later, and who knows, if it does mean a lot to him, and u don't go to tha concert, it may be for a good reason in tha whole scheme of things Like a riot or something happening at tha concert ... good luck.

Answer 15

well if the father is going to be there, then i think its okay.

One parent will be there with a smiling face.