Would it upset you if??

Question

A member of your family also wants to get married the same year as you do?? And around the same month. Even though you both recently got engaged.

Do you think it's okay to do that or wrong?

Answer 1

i dont think its a big deal my bro in law got married a month before my husband and i did, and things went just fine  

Answer 2

As long as the one who starts planning second doesn't steal: the date, the location or the groom I think it's fine. lol.  My best friend is getting married a couple months before me even though she got engaged after me (We've known each other for 20 years and we're both 22 years old..she IS family).  it bothered me a little bit but just because she has always beaten me to EVERYTHING.  but I'm okay with it now.

So I say go for it, as long as you leave those 3 things I mentioned to the one who started planning first.

EDIT: honestly, that is one of the best reasons I've ever heard for making your wedding this year.  Your father is important and if having it this year is what it takes then do it, even if she starts getting pissed about it.  If she does get pissed try and explain that story to her.  She should understand

EDIT#2: lol.  Okay so if no one has planned anything yet why don't you guys sit down together and say "okay we need to space this out a little bit, if you want june I can do september" or something along those lines.  That way you both know exactly where the other one stands. eh, it's just a thought

Answer 3

i think it's okay to do that. but it's going to turn into a big competition on who's wedding was better. So be prepared for that.

Answer 4

I wouldn't be so bothered, but I know plenty of people would be. My FSIL, now she bothers me, because she demanded our original date only a year before (she also wanted my wedding gown and original plans). That's tacky. The only people who may be bothered by the weddings being so close together would be the mutual guests (those in tight financial situations or those who have to arrange time off from work or make travel arrangements). We don't get to direct other peoples' lives, so they shouldn't have to wait a year or more to get married simply because we got engaged first.

Answer 5

No one should postpone their lives to avoid having a wedding in the same year as a family member. However, it's probably courteous to agree to have the weddings a month or 2 apart at least so guests who will be going to both weddings who need to travel won't have to do so 2 weekends in a row.

Answer 6

I don't think it's a big deal.  

I set my wedding date for October 11, 2008.

Then my sister married in a civil ceremony February 29.

Then she had a more traditional wedding with family on May 10.

Just after I whisper to my mom "ok, now we start planning my wedding ;-)", my sister's husband announced she was 8 weeks pregnant!  

Two weeks later, we found out she's having twins!!

So now my sister (who is my matron of honor) will be 30 weeks pregnant (with twins!) for my wedding!!

It's been a little hectic - for example, my bridal shower will be September 13, and her baby shower will be October 26 (my mom tried to convince me to go with October 18, but that was just a little too close to my wedding), but it's all good.  ;-)

Really, what harm is there in having several celebrations in the same year?  I think it's awesome!

Answer 7

If it's the same month AND year, the two couples should pool their resources into a Double Ceremony which can be quite wonderful and beautiful for EVERYBODY involved!

Answer 8

I don't see a problem with it.  As long as it isn't the same day or anything people can plan for that sort of thing.  Also, if people can't make it to both weddings, don't beat yourself up over it.  Remember that having your dad there is more important as a whole.  

Answer 9

I think its fine, but if you want it to be your special year kinda give the heads up that you were there first lol

:)

Answer 10

A year is a big space of time. As long as you don't get married on the same day there's no reason to have an issue.

Answer 11

I wouldn't be upset, people get married every day of the year....it's no big deal

Answer 12

It doesn't matter a bit. If it were siblings, I would say three months apart. However, with it being a niece, a month is enough.

So, just set a date. Why haven't you yet? That would give them something to work around. If they are thinking of June, have yours in April.

Answer 13

To be completely honest, I would be upset about it, but I wouldn't let that ruin it for me.  It's our wedding, and if that's the date and time that works best for us, then so be it :)  This is the only year it would matter anyway.  After that one day, anniversaries so close to each other won't affect you.

Answer 14

I got engaged last July, set the date for April 19, sent out save the dates, then my cousin got engaged in Oct, and set her date April 12th! The weekend before mine!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! We have a huge family so obviously all the same guests would be coming. Not only that, its at the SAME church and venue. I was SOOO MAD. not at the fact that shes getting married b4 me, but that she had to do it right before mine. I confronted her and told her to change her date since nothing was yet set in stone with her wedding, i asked her to move it up either a month or back a month. She said NOPE. Then she went around calling me a bridezilla and a drama queen... anyways, things worked out fine in the end - she didn't move her wedding date, and we had a few aunts and uncles from out of town who couldn't come to both so they split it up, one aunt and uncle came to mine, the other came to hers. Even tho everything turned out ok, i am still bitter at the fact that she did that. I am not all about everything being about me, but come on! a week before?????!!!!  

Answer 15

i wouid say ok to get married but not on the year or same month

change up and get in another year and another month.

Answer 16

It will be ok. I had a cousin who was married 2 weeks after me, and it was all good. We didn't compete with each other and every one had fun at both weddings.

Answer 17

A year is 12 months long, so no, I would not be upset if some I know was also planning on getting married in the same year.  Nor, would it bother me if they got married in the same month.  But, that's just me, I guess some people do think it's "all about" them.

Answer 18

Well what is around? They can get married whenever they like the year has 365 days many people get married in the 'same year". As far as around the same month.. like your in September and she is in October? that is still is just fine.  You might not be inviting everyone she is inviting.. your wedding might be bigger or smaller than her's too.

Your not supposed to be competing on when you get married, your supposed to be planning your day and your future with the guy your marrying.

Answer 19

I think its fine. I have one cousin getting married August 30, one on September 27, another one on October 23, and then I am getting married November 8th!

I think its exciting, because it gives all of us something to talk about and someone to go to when we are having wedding related issues.

Answer 20

I wouldn't be the least bit upset, but there are some bridezillas that would take serious offense to a relative planning to marry at the same time.  Just be careful if your relative is or is marrying a gal who gets obsessive about the wedding date and making the event all about her.  Bridezillas can make anyone's life a living nightmare!

Best wishes!!!!!!!!

Edited to add:  When I say "be careful", I don't mean that you should rearrange your wedding around a bridezilla, but you do have to spend time consoling those women.  Everything is about "Her Big Day" and she can't see anyone else's perspective.  I've got a cousin who was/is a major bridezilla and is still having issues with my wedding even though she got married a few years ago.  It's a pain in the rear end, but she's a relative, so I have to deal with her!

Edited further:  I agree with Nikki M.  If neither of you have planned anything and she is agreeable, then sit down and discuss the wedding planning in advance.  Maybe the two of you can work together on some details and get better pricing?  I know that bridal shops in particular will offer a better price on gowns if the two of you shop together and it could be a lot of fun!

Answer 21

You get one day..not the month and certainly not the year.Her wedding doesn't revolve around yours, yours doesn't revolve around hers.

Let her establish her day first, since she plans on a big blow-out...that will take more time & planning and you with a modest one will have more flexibility in planning...then you set your date when you want...May is lovely, even consider a late summer/early fall wedding. Don't create drama when there is none. Good luck.

Answer 22

I think all of you should plan some space between weddings.  If you are all inviting some of the same people, it could really get to be a financial burden on the guests.

Answer 23

I got married on 8/8/08 and my cousin is getting married this weekend. Also in 04 2 of my other cousin got married 2 weeks apart. I really do not care. If they are kind of close together and you have a lot of out of town guest they could be able to combined the trips and save money!