Would like some advice on having a second baby?

Question

My daughter is now almost 3 and I'm 34 weeks pregnant with our second. My girl is the first grandchild on both sides and has been spoilt rotten since she was born by grandparents on both sides and aunties and uncles. We decided to have another baby rather than wait as we wanted to get the 'spoilt child' out of her before she got too used to it, and my sister-in-law is also pregnant now (35 weeks!). I'm worried that my daughter will be a real problem when the 2 new babies (both girls) arrive into the family, especially as they'll arrive within weeks, maybe days of each other, and she won't get everyone's attention like before. Has anyone got any advice on how to make it easier for all of us? Any hints/tips are welcome.

I know that it'll be good for her in the long run, I'm just dreading the adjustment period!

Thanks in advance for the answers.

Answer 1

get a baby doll and carry it everywhere! to the store grandparents. let the grandparents hold the baby doll instead of her. If you get her used to the idea of everyone paying attention to the doll you can help with the adjustment now instead of later when your tired and have the real baby to worry about. treat it just like you would your new baby on the way/ Congrats and good luck. hope I've helped.

Answer 2

Get her involved with baby stuff. My number 1 helped sort out the cot and baby clothes etc. When number 2 came home, 1 got extra toys "from baby" and we called 2 "1's baby" and had to ask her permission to feed, change etc. Don't worry, she always said yes!

As 1 felt she had control she was fine. She was deferred to and in charge of the new situation as she saw it so was ok. This scenario drifted away after a few weeks and they now (4 and 2) get on extremely well and 1 is terribly protective of and helps 2 do basic things like put socks on etc.

Answer 3

well i had my second child a day b4 my 1st turned 2 he was also the only child in the family he was spoilt but when i had my little boy he just took 2 him and adored him also i bought him a few toys 2 show he wasnt bein left out, he still got attetion hes fine with him around hes now 3 and youngest is 1 they get on soooo well. they help with house stuff like putting clothes in machine etc so funny, will b fine trust. good luck

Answer 4

I think the most important thing is to not spend all your time with the new babies, give your daughter some "mummy and daddy" time, so she doesn't feel totally left out. Perhaps buy her a doll and teach her to copy you with the new baby. When you feed the baby, encourage her to feed the doll, when you change the baby, get her to do the same. I was the first child, much the same situation as your daughter is in, and that's how mum prevented me from getting jealous. If your daughter feels she has responsibilities and that she's not getting left out she probably won't even think about getting jealous. Also encourage her to help out with the new baby if you can. Give her small tasks such as "pass mummy a nappy please" etc and reward her for helping. You don't have to reward her by giving her gifts but give her a cuddle and say thanks for helping.

Good luck with the new baby, and hope everything works out for you :)

Answer 5

First you need to make sure she's used to the idea that the baby will be arriving so show her lots of books, tv programmes etc about babies, talk to her about the baby and when she will be arriving.

When the baby does arrive make sure that when you get home for the first time you greet your older daughter without the baby, your husband could hold the baby while you make a fuss of your older daughter.

When you have visitors make sure they greet your older daughter first and make a fuss over her before they greet the new baby.

Have a gift ready from the baby for your daugher and also have your older daughter draw a picture of make a gift to give to the baby.

Set aside special time evryday just for you and your older daughter, whether it be for reading, drawing, playing etc... and make sure her bedtime routine stays the same with you taking her up to bed.

Try and encourage your older daughter to help you out with small jobs related to the baby i.e fetching the wet wipes for you, holding the bottle while you sit comfortably (providing you're not breast feeding of course)

The main thing is to make sure your daughter doesn't feel left out. Having the new baby will seem exciting to everyone but a new baby wont notice or care if you don't go over and make a fuss of it first however an older child will, make sure your older daughter still gets time and attention from everyone and you'll be less likely to have issues.  

Answer 6

get your oldest a baby doll. she is old enough to understand that there is a baby, like her doll, inside your belly and inside her aunts belly. We did this with my oldest, she was 21 months when my youngest was born, and is now 2 years, 8 months old and has a new baby cousin (all girls) that is 2 weeks old. we told her while I was pregnant that there was a baby in mommy's belly. she didn't quiet grasp it at that age, but while my sis in law was pregnant she would point to her belly and say "baby Layla!" she absolutly adores her sister and her new cousin.  

Answer 7

We bought our eldest a toy from the baby when we arrived home with our baby. When we had visitors to welcome the baby, we made sure they greeted and fussed our eldest before seeing the baby.

My Son adjusted brilliantly and was quite a little helper.