Would like some honest comments , dont be shy

Question

Under the mango tree

By Ru Hewage

Copyrights@ruhewage

Rumbling tummys under the mango tree.

stoke a fire in hopes it crackles ,

bananna leaves with morsels hidden,

wrap the lolvely feast ahead

A thin wisp of a creature

stokes the fire harder than any other

her dark eyes follow the wind

while her hands shield the fire

This was a holiday with a swing

spent under that tree of magic

Where blackcrows watched with greedy eyes

As grandmother made us treats.

Answer 1

It's very descriptive and emotional. So much feeling in so few words. I love the second verse. "A thin wisp of a creature, stokes the fire harder than any other, her dark eyes follow the wind, while her hands shield the fire". So much emotion and very creative. Great job. I would definitely buy your poetry book if you publish one. And you better. You have to much talent to let it go to waste. ♥ :-)

Answer 2

Really good! I like it! There are some misspellings, but otherwise good. It is very descriptive and vibrant!